Wednesday, April 14, 2004

amusing 3

I was sitting in a pub last night watching football. Manyoo vs Leicester. Bloody Gary Neville scored. First league goal in 3 years.

What amused me was something going on in the table on front of me. This couple was watching the game as well. The guy ugly like hell. Skinny like anything. His hair longer than the girlfriend's hair. Keep screaming throughout the game. Totally different with his girlfriend though. Gorgeous. Well, ok, that might have been pushing it. But had a pretty face with nice dimples and everything. Very posh look. However, she falls in the category of Group2 in my "women & football" theory.

The whole game, could see that she was bored like fucks. I reckon, to her, watching football was like watching snails race a marathon. Wonder why she even went there to watch the game. Anyways, half way through the first half, she opened her handbag to search for something. Frantically searching, like as though what ever it is was damn important. After like 10 minutes (more like 10 seconds la), she found it. Could see a nice bright smile on her pretty little face.

Then I realised why she was so happy. It was a pocket vibrator. She could now entertain herself. (Okla, it was a packet of cigarettes and a lighter) Opened the pack and started smoking. The screwed up thing is that the bloody ventilation fan kept blowing the damn smoke from the cunt's cigarette in to my face. Fucking disgusting.

Then comes the amusing part. She smokes half the stick, and puts it out and throws it away. Fair play I thought. Maybe she was going to save it for the second half. Didn't want to smoke too much at a time. But less than 5 minutes later, open the ciggy box and take out another fresh stick. Lights it, and puffs away. Fuck, you stupid git, you forgot the old one. So now, I am under the impression that shes a forgetful twit. But same thing happens. She smokes it half way, and then puts it out.

Same story in the second half. She smokes another 3 sticks, putting them all out after she smokes it half way. I nudge my friend, George beside me.
"Dude, look at the chick. What's up with that la?"
"Oh, I've seen this before. Some of my friends do that as well. It seems that the ciggy filter can only last half way. Its ideal that you smoke half the ciggy, cause the filter is still clean. After that, its dirty and can't function properly after that."

WTF?? Smokers these days are sohais. So let me get this straight. They are worried about their health, so they don't wanna smoke the full ciggy? They are worried that the filter is not able to withstand anymore tar, nicotine, acid, crap, poo, etc...?? Then why the fuck smoke in the first place? Filter or no filter, the tar, nicotine, acid, crap, poo will still get in your lungs innit? And to smoke 5 ciggys in 1 hour is fucking ridiculous. Fine, she did smoke 5 half-ciggys, but its still stupid.

Moral of the story :

1) The smoke from ciggarettes get into your brain, turning it black and makes you stupid.
2) Smokers are the biggest sohais in the world.
3) But they still worry about their health.

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