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Thursday, April 01, 2004

april genius' day

For some reason, everybody is fascinated by April 1st. Its a day where they make fun of stupid people. I say, its a day to celebrate evil geniuses. Everybody plays tricks on everybody. Even in school. Its a day of celebration. Geeks and nerds join the fun. But the jokes are all lame and dry.

In primary school, its always "Hey! Theres chewing gum on your hair." Stupid girl then goes "Where where?" even though someone played the same trick on her 20 mins ago. In secondary school, it was always something to do with pairing a fat girl & cute guy or hot chick & class nerd. Nobody falls for that kinda trick but its funny cause it humiliates those people.

All in all, those are bleeding boring tricks. Its always the same thing. No originality. No creative flair. Once a while, a genius comes around and changes everything. Brings that extra something into April Fool's Day. In Form 4, this wannabe joker/dumb shit (lets call him Dicky..cause his name is real boring) came to school with a tall metal box like a biscuit tin. Its April Fool's day. Everybody knows that Dicky is up to something. He puts the tin on the teacher's desk and leave it there. We ask him what was in the tin. Didn't say. All he said was "I recommend that you leave it there."

Fair enough. Maybe it is some disgusting crap. Maybe it is some jack in the box thingy. So we let it be. Teacher walks in. We love her by the way. One of the coolest teacher you will ever find.

Teacher : "Siapa punya biscuit ni?" (Whose biscuits are these)

Dicky : "Tak tau la cikgu. Cikgu buka tengok la" (Don't know. Why don't you open and see)

Teacher : "Haha, you orang ingat I bodoh ar? Hari ni first April kan?" (Haha, do you guys think I am stupid? Its the first of April today isn't it)

Dicky : "Takde apa apa la Cikgu" (Its nothing teacher)

Teacher : "Hah Dicky, you cakap banyak, mari buka kasi I tengok" (Ok Dicky, since you talk so much, why don't you come and open it for me to see)

The idiot. Balls of steel. Strides up to the front. Says something to the teacher. She smiles. Dicky opens it. She looks in. Grins. Dicky smiles back. Closes the box, says something else to her. She nods and puts the damn thing back on the table. So the rest of us are fucking speechless. What the hell is in that box? At the end of the lesson, teacher leaves, and takes the box with her. WTF??

We ask Dicky what the fuck was in the box. Again he says "If I were you, I rather not know." Bla. After much persuasion, he still says no. Fuck it. We go about playing our usual pranks then. Last period. Cool teacher walks in. Evil math teacher sick. Cool teacher relieves her. She carries back the stupid box back into the class. Now we are damn convinced that theres nothing in there. That this is all an elaborate scam. Stupid Dicky. Attention seeker. Collaborating with the teacher to fool all of us.

Just then we realise something. The bastard has another similar box in his bag. He takes the first box back from the teacher and puts it on his table. When the teacher not looking he puts that in his bag and takes the second box and puts it back on his table. Keeps quiet about it.

10 minutes before bell rings.

Teacher : Okla, kelas, you orang nak tau apa benda dalam kotak tu ar? (Ok class, do you guys wanna know whats in that box?)

Dicky : Eh eh, jangan la cikgu (No..dont!)

Teacher : Haha....kelas...Happy April Fools Day. Actually kotak tu kosong. Suspense aje.(Happy April Fools Day class. The box is empty. Just suspense for nothing)

Somebody : Jangan tipu la cikgu (Don't bluff)

Teacher : Haha. Memang (really)

She walks over to Dicky's desk, opens the lid,picks it up and overturns it. MUD. Actual thick brown MUD spills down all over her shoes and the bottom of her baju kurung. Actually she quite stupid. When pick it up surely she can feel something inside. But I guess its the act of your subconsious mind. You know there's nothing in there and your mind convinces you theres nothing in there.

So theres mud all over the floor, on her Prada shoes and on the bottom part of her baju kurung. Poor Dicky. Good trick but he didn't count on her overturning it. He thought that she would just shove her hand in. So since its in front of his desk, the mud oso splatter to his shoes ,his pants and his school bag on the floor. Hah! Good plan. But didn't plan on that happening.

So obviously we laugh like fucks. Teacher + Dicky, not very happy. Best April Fools ever.

So to all the boring/uncreative people, thats a plan. Heres another one from me. Wanted to do it. But for some reason my usual guinea pig is not in. Tell your friends that you gonna cook them dinner. Porridge to be precise. Note that toilet paper, after soaking it in water for like 2 hours and smashing it into pulp looks EXACTLY like porridge when you mix it with a bit of water. All you need to do is add some kicap and heat it up. And watch them eat it. Haha. Thats original by the way.

Happy April Genius Day everybody.

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