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Thursday, April 01, 2004

the hongkee

The uni I study in has a shit load of Hong Kong people. Ask any student in UK and Australia and 75% of them will tell you that they dislike Hongkees. I dunno, its something about the way they talk and dress. Their Cantonese is all sing song and weird. Their fashion sense is out of this world. Typical Ah Beng. In Malaysia we see people like that on the street and call them Ah Bengs.

Their fashion sense expands from one end of the spectrum to the other. Which donkey in the right sense of mind goes for lectures wearing a nice fur jacket which he takes off in the leture hall only to expose a white singlet (the type we used to see old man wearing in the kampung) and wearing bloody slippers. With socks. No. Not the nice Nike sandals. More like some flip flops you buy in the pasar malam. He thinks the lecture theatre is his father's house ar? Which is good that unis in Malaysia impose a dress code. Otherwise you will see a lot of donkeys like that.

Then theres the other end of the spectrum. Low life dingus with green hair who wakes up 3 hours before the lecture starts to do his hair. Probably uses half a bottle of hair gel to spike it up. Attention seeker. Some more sit right in front of me. Short fuck but spike the hair 6 inches up just to purposely block my view. Completes the accessory by wearing a zebra stripe jacket. Should put people like that in zoos.

Theres this bunch who always play snooker in the uni sports centre. Always the same faces. Look like ape. They are the type of people whom you just wanna slap and slap until their face change shape and look better. These people cannot seem to understand that when playing snooker, you have to shut the fuck up. Go to any snooker centre in Malaysia and the only people who make noise are Ah Bengs and Malay boys from the kampung. Everybody else knows that you have to shut up. If you wanna chat, go to Starbucks. These jackasses, everything I play they seem to be there. Talking about their girlfriends, their dogs, their cows and their goats.

That day, this white man from another table scold them.

White man : Look mate. This is a snooker room. Its supposed to be quiet. I am trying to have a game here.

Hongkee 1 : Oh sorry mate.

2 minutes later...

Hongkee 1 : Eh..ley chee mm chee...wo ge lan chiao ho sai
(Eh...do you know..my dick is very small)

Hongkee 2 : Hmmmmmm..

(ok I made that up, but they were talking bout sum crap)

Hongkee 2 : Eh eh...mo kom cho...jeng kan kuai lo lao wo dei
(Eh eh...not so loud...after the ghost man scold us again)

Hongkee 1 : Tiuu huey la....tai hey wan....kom char...jong oui lao yan...
(Fuck him la...See him play...Like shit...Still wanna scold people)


Fucking retards. You are wrong you shut up and admit your mistakes la.

More stories on other asian people next day.



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