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Monday, April 19, 2004

small big kids

I remember the days in primary school when Mechanical Pencils were non-existant and nobody used them. Everybody used the traditional wooden pencil which you had to sharpen when it got blunt. Pencil sharpeners were also not that cool. In school, kids used the small hand held ones with a simple blade fixed to it and you had to turn it manually. At the back end of those sharpeners was usually a mirror.

Have got no idea which smart alec manufacturer decided to put a mirror there. They could have put a flat plastic back printed with a picture of Mickey Mouse, Optimus Prime or Lion-O. But no, they just had the brilliant idea to put a mirror.

Give a kid anything unnecessary and they will think of something to do with it. Older kids (11 or 12 year olds) who were starting to reach puberty had especially fond ideas. Drop the mirror one the floor as a girl was walking past and you can see what your future would be like. Of course, I didn't do any of that. (Really) Those were stories my older cousin told me (REALLY!! By the time I reached that age, everybody was using mechanical pencils and hence no need sharpeners). The girls though, were different. Somehow, they took good care of their sharpeners careful never to break the mirror. Cause someone told them that breaking a mirror would result in you having bad luck for 7 years. Needless to say, on the rare occasion that a girl actually broke her mirror, she would get upset and cry over it.

The younger guy kids had other better ideas for the mirror. Science presents itself in mysterious ways. Even 4 or 5 year old kids would know that mirror reflects light, sunlight especially well. We also deduced that it would reflect it at a certain angle. This helped very well in the early hours of the morning when the teacher was writting some crap on the blackboard. The early morning sunshine would flood the room, and everybody would whip out their mirrors to reflect the sun to a point on the ceiling. What the hell for, I have no idea. Later someone discovered that it would be very funny to reflect the sunshine onto the teacher's ass as she was writting on the board. It looked like a laser beam was burning her ass. Funny shits.

Today was the first day of uni after a month-long holiday. The lecturer, usually a funny chap was unusually boring today. And during the holidays, some wise ass had the brilliant idea to remove the curtain rails to change it or something. Whatever it was, the classroom didn't have any curtains this morning and the 11 o'clock sun was bathing the room with its gold light.

Two blokes at the back of the class had a brilliant idea to do something that I haven't done in 12 years. Bloody full grown morons. I reckon 21 or 22 years young. Using their watches to reflect the sunshine on to the lecturer's body part. First they gave him two beams on sunshine on his imaginary tits. Next they decided to shine his dick area on the pants. That was pretty much an obvious move.

The class noticed it and started giggling. Lecturer thinks that his jokes are funny. Doesn't suspect shits. Finally they decided to shine one beam into each eye. Try saying, "Bloody hell. The darn sun is get'ing into me eyes!" in deep Scottish accent. He then proceeds to curse the entire maintainance department. Cursing that they are affecting his ability to teach. Cursing that it disrupts our concentration. And well, cursing everything under the sun.

Hmm, we all love to be kids again, eh?

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