Saturday, May 01, 2004
I have always considered myself as a modern traditionalist. Proud of my culture. Proud of my heritage. Traditions are there for a reason but are to be followed logically and practically.
Someone I know is getting married at the end of the year. In the midst of planning her wedding, a lot of her old aunties and uncles have come up and "advised" her on some of the traditions as well as the do's and dont's. Some of it, while impractical, are there for a reason. Others, however is pure bull crap as I think about it.
Here are a few examples :
1) Her grandmother is quite sick. The advise she got was that IF her grandmother passes away, she MUST have the wedding WITHIN 100 days of the death. Otherwise, she would have to wait for 3 years before she can have the wedding. Now, this I sure as hell do NOT understand. If the "rule" states that you cannot have the wedding in the 3 months after the death for a mourning period, I totally understand. But this rule borders on the ridiculous. I sure as hell do not understand the logic behind forcing people to have the wedding in the middle of the mourning period.
2) Wedding gown CANNOT be red in colour. MUST be white. I am confused. I thought Chinese people love red colour. Prosperity and all that. But it seems, for wedding dresses, it cannot be red because red symbolizes blood, meaning the bride is not pure (as in lost her virginity, so the blood from the popped cherry stains the gown making it red). It seems that a white wedding gown would symbolize the purity of the bride. Now I am fucking confused because in Chinese funerals, people are supposed to wear white as it is a colour for mourning. So what the fuck is all this contradiction about?
3) Her cousin's wedding is in October, and one of her close friends is getting married in January. It seems, that her cousin cannot attend her wedding, and she cannot attend her friend's wedding. Apparently, those old hags "advised" her that a person cannot attend another wedding if it is within 2 months after their own wedding. Again, I am fucking confused. Weddings are joyous occasions, so why can't you have 2 joyous occasions together? If say one of your relatives died, and they say you cannot attend someone's wedding 2 months after the funeral, that's fair play. Maybe they are afraid of the bad omen from the funeral. But to not allow someone to attend another wedding after your own joyous occasion.....I reckon its a pretty stupid rule.
Sometimes, I think that superstitions like these are made up by people. Sort of like a story to tell their kids and to scare people. Maybe its created by jealous wankers who were too ugly to find a partner that they find it necessary to inconvenience other people's joyous occasion. Whatever it is, it sure is pretty darn fucked up.