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Sunday, May 02, 2004

life story of sperms & ovums

Chronological interaction between sperms & ovums:

-9 months : sperm meets ovum. Nature takes its course as they attempt to create something special.

-5 months : Good progress. A weird looking creature starts forming. This creature can either be a Sperm or and Ovum (please don't be confused...sperm & ovums are objects...but Sperm & Ovums with capital letters are names)

0 years : Either Sperm or Ovum is born.

3 years : Sperm meets other Sperms. Ovum meets other Ovums. Sperm also meets Ovum.

4 years : All the tiny Sperms and Ovums interact freely and play with each other.

5 years : Sperms and Ovums discover that they are totally different from one another. They swear eternal allegiance to their own kind and the Sperms declare a full scale war against Ovums.

9 years : After many years of war, the hatred between Sperms and Ovums does not seem to be waning. Again, they each reiterate their claim to superiority and world dominance. The Sperms are inspired by SuperSperm, while the Ovums are motivated by Powerpuff Ovums. Sperms initiates a council called COK (Council of Ovum Killers) which dedicates itself to the eternal battle for supremacy.

10 years : Sperms and Ovums have learned how to tolerate one another. Simple interaction occurs. But they still hate one another.

11 years : Ovums seem to be experiencing biological difficulties. Suddenly, they do not hate Sperms as much. Sperms however are at the height of their hatred.

12 years : A small percentage of Sperms suddenly decide to break their lifelong allegience and suddenly take a liking into Ovums. However, the majority of the Sperms are still loyal to one another and ostrocise the rebel Sperms. Rebel Sperms generally do not have a nice time as they are constantly mocked by other Sperms. As a result, the rebels are outcast, and their only companions are a few Ovums.

13 years : More and more Sperms join the rebellion. Things are not looking so bright for the COK.

14 years : COK finally loses its war against the Rebellion. The remaining COK members are now the ones who are ostrocised, partly because they do not have hair on specific parts of their body and their voices are as it was 5 years ago.

16 years : The situtation has become topsy turvy. Sperms and Ovums have totally forgot their pledge to one another some 10 years ago. They are willing to screw each other over the possesion of other Sperms and Ovums. Most Sperms and Ovums feel an attraction but are mostly clueless over what the next course of action is supposed to be. This is probably because their decade long war had taught them to hate each other. However, some Sperms are miles ahead of the field and and know everything about Ovums. These Sperms were most likely the original founders of the Rebellion. These Sperms are also known as PlaySperms.

18 years : Sperms and Ovums co-exist happily with one another. As opposed to the earlier chronology of events, Sperms or Ovums which are more popular among the other species are revered and looked up to.

20 years : A lot of Sperms and Ovums discover that peace is not as easy as it sounds. It was a much easier time when they were at war. Some Ovums, especially those bitter that the PlaySperms have used them as a toy, again declare eternal war against Sperms. But they secretly hope for peace.

25 years : Most Sperms and Ovums have found solace. The minority which have not are now beginning to panic and starting to prepare for Armageddon.

30 years : Most Sperms and Ovums which have found solace among themselves have started producing Sperms and Ovums on their own. However, for the believers of Armageddon, things do not look bright. Some of them resign themselves to believing that Armageddon will indeed happen. They then resort to techniques of using the Internet and other agencies to contact other believers of Armageddon.

40 years : Even some members of the Armagedoon club have found solace. For the rest, well, they now concentrate on being filthy rich so that in 20 years time, they can find a young Sperm or Ovum and finally seek solace.

45 years: Some of the Sperms and Ovums which have earlier found solace are now beginning to wage another bitter war reminisence of the one fought in the early days. This war, however has become more serious and has more drastic concequences. Where previously the Sperms and Ovums fought over who could use the playground slide, they now fight over who can keep Sperm Jnr. and Little Ovum.

80 years : As the Sperms and Ovums start dying, some of them were best friends for 65 years (minus the 10 year long war ,remember?) and are buried next to each other in their graves. Some, though have become bitter and can only dream of what could have been...........


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