Thursday, May 06, 2004
Nuns - To show the world, in MichaelOoi's words that they are as pure as an unused sanitary napkin, and to ensure that nobody else discovers that they are a hoax trying to act innocent.
Oscars - To be as dramatic as possible, to treat every situation as life and death situations and to make a mountain of a moehill. Another long term objective is to get people to call them by this new glamorous name as opposed to the old term of Drama Queen, because they intend to open membership to members of both genders.
Princesses - To look as pale as possible by applying one bottle of sunblock lotion to their unblemished milk skin everytime they go out, and bringing an umbrella everywhere they go to be used irrelevant of whether its sunny or drizzling as the sun will burn their sensitive skin, and rain drops, no matter how tiny will disolve their body molecules.
Queens - To protect just their hands from the sun, by wearing long gloves while driving so that they can look as young as the princesses, but unfortunately they are about 30 years too old.
Rebels - To show the world that even at the young age, they are actually much more developed than the rest of the Sperms. This is done by snogging Ovums in shopping centres as their parents will jump and scream bloody murder if they do it at home. (If you haven't read my blog before, click here)
Smokers - To look cooler than everybody else by clouding and blackening their brains and lungs with crap.
Transformers - To follow the Transformers' slogan of "Robots in disguise", they feel it necessary to show and convince the world that they are hardworking, good and obedient
robots students, but actually cause trouble when nobody else is looking.
Uncles - To provide a shelter for wayward youths, giving them a family and a sense of belonging, simultaneously recruiting those youths as a mini army of VCD sellers, and at the same time being regular customers of machete manufactuers and hospitals.
Vincent Lau - Special case. All objectives have already been achieved at a very young age.
Wankers - To piss off everybody else by their highly "don't give a fuck" attitude, which comes as a result of pleasuring themselves too much.
X-Men - To show the world that they are different from everybody else, and to shove their differences straight into the faces of other people and forcing them to accept it.
Yanks - To show the rest of the world to correct side of the road to drive on and the most suitable measuring units in engineering purposes.
Zoo Exhibits - To go on parade for the general public to admire their bodies which was pierced and then impaled with all sorts of metals, usually around the face area.