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Thursday, May 13, 2004

ouch!

In today's edition of The Sun newspaper in Uk

Nurse is a willy yanker
A NURSE left a patient aged 89 in agony by yanking an inflated catheter the size of an EGG out of his penis, a disciplinary hearing was told.
It was one of a string of blunders by Mary Dickinson, 62, at a nursing home in Bourne, Lincs, the Nursing and Midwifery Council heard.
She is alleged to have cleaned a patient’s ears with scissors and sedated another with morphine in Horlicks. She denies the claims. The case goes on.


The thoughts that ran through my mind as I was reading this :

1) Ouch

2) Fuck! OUCH!

3) How the fuck do you pull out an egg sized thing out of a dick? Diameter of the uretra is what......5mm? Diameter of the egg is fucking 30mm!! Can it even come out of the 5mm hole without exploding the dick?

4) How do you clean a somebody's ear with a pair of scissors? If you say it was cleaned with a floor rug, I can still understand....but I just can't imagine a way you can clean it with scissors!

5) If EVER some skanky whore of an insolent slut yanks an egg sized object out of my dick, doesn't matter if I am 89 years old like the guy or a 105 years old, I can make sure that the same object will be shoved so far up her ass, that her shit will be pushed so deep inside and forced to come out her mouth. And then maybe force the shit back down her mouth, to push out the eggy object from her ass for her to keep, so that she could remember me by.


*Post publication entry*
PS : On second thoughts, forget my statement in number 5. Its too messy to be carried out. I will have to wash my hands after that. Inconvenient. Instead, I will just settle for smacking the daylights out of that good-for-nothing cow and resort to voodoo to curse her ass and her intestines to shrink to 1/1000th of its original size. That way, it would be too small to contain much waste. So everytime she eats just a wee bit of food, she has to shit it out few minutes later.

PPS : Its been half an hour since I read the article. I still feel for the old guy.

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