Thursday, May 20, 2004

toilet seats

From CNN:

Talking toilet orders men to sit down

BERLIN, Germany (Reuters) -- A German inventor who developed a gadget that berates men if they try to use the toilet standing up has sold more than 1.6 million devices, his business manager said on Tuesday.

German women fed up with a man with a poor aim can turn to the ghost-shaped gadget, which lurks under the toilet rim and, if the seat is lifted, declares in a stern female tone:

"Hello, what are you up to then? Put the seat back down right away, you are definitely not to pee standing up ... you will make a right mess..."

Alex Benkhardt, 46, invented the "WC Ghost" and its creators are in negotiations to market it in Britain, Canada and Italy.

Damn! I suspect the inventor who is a guy, actually doesn't have a dick which he can piss from. Why, why on earth would a guy want to sit down and take a piss when he can stand? It doesn't make much fucking sense.

And how the fuck did it sell 1.6 million units? Fuck. If a stupid toilet were to scold me for putting up the toilet seat, do you think I would give a shit? At least if you want to invent something, invent something that maybe collects all the piss that doesn't go into the bowl. Then maybe use that piss and channel it through some kind of water gun to shoot it back into the persons face. Now that would be more useful.

Which brings me to my next point. We always hear women complaining that men don't put the seat down after using it. Now, I am fucking puzzled. Guys need it UP. Girls need it DOWN. But guys never complain if the seat is down. Why the fuck should I be obliged to put the seat down after taking a piss?

Moral of the story : Everybody takes a piss. Don't make such a fucking big deal about it.

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