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Saturday, May 15, 2004

troy

*No spoilers about the movie but look away now if you didn't already know the story of Troy, Archilles and his heel, and the stupid wooden horse*

A few comments which keep running through my mind:

1) Helen of Troy. The face that launched a thousand ships. Wait till you see the body!! Too bad they censore stuffs in Malaysia. Muahahaha. Guess you guys back home have to wait for the DVD then. Didn't get to see enough of her during the movie though.

2) Orlando Bloom proves me right yet again. The guy is meant only to act in stupid faggoty roles. In Black Hawk Down (also with Eric Bana) his character died even before the main story. Died by falling off the helicopter. In LOTR, he played a faggot elf with hair so smooth and wavy, Head & Shoulders could have used him to do an advertisement to sell some shampoo to the Orcs. Here, he again acts as a dumb shit who can't fight, has no honour, and hell of a bad shot with the bow and arrow.

3) The love scenes were more of a comic. There was one scene with Archilles and his chick which caused the whole cinema to laugh instead of getting turned on. Bad move by the scripwriters.

4) How the fuck does ONE MAN influence the war so much? Greek army had 50 000 men. How does Archilles and his pals, adding up to a grand total of 50 men decide whether the Greeks win the war or not? Take 100 Trojans to just smack him during the battle, all together, surely the arrogant bastard will die eh?

5) They should have built a better looking horse. The horse in the movie is so ugly, its not even fit to be used in a kindergarten play. If you notice, you can see some holes in the horse, which means that the Trojans would be able to see the men inside the horse.

6) The movie concentrated on the Trojan people talking non-stop about their Gods,which to a certain extent says they lost the war because they believed in their Gods too much. Does this send a message?

Rating : 3/5 - Didn't help that I already knew the story. Acting wasn't too great. Special effects weren't anything special. Love scenes didn't work out. Nice sound effects though. And the best part : this show even makes the girls hate Orlando Bloom for being a faggot.

Ramblings:
It sounds unbelievable what they did back then. Using a bow and arrow to confront an enemy rather than a sword was considered coward at that time when it came to close combat. In our day and age, a rifle or grenade is the median for close combat and in about 1000 years from now, they will not understand why!

Back then, I do believe that they had certain principles and morals concerning the rules of combat and the rules of war. Much more observed than our current Geneva Convention rules. The bottom line is that we (the world) at this time have not figured out a way to avoid killing each other. My guess is, that if we do, a great worldwide sickness will develop and destroy many of us on earth in order to maintain the balance of life and death.

Who really knows… I hope that I don’t live to see the worst.

 



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