Monday, June 28, 2004
death wish - vincent's account
I just got my permanent driving license today. After 2 years of driving around in that ridiculous big red 'P' sticker (**), it was good to drive as a normal driver. If there is anybody worse than Penang drivers, its KL drivers. Motherfuckers will not hessitate to tail your backside for fun. Those same fuckers will travel at 40kmph only to accelerate suddenly when you try to overtake them.
However, this was different. I went to buy some groceries from my mum after dinner. On my way back home, in the dark lane in which my house sits on, I encounter a dumb fuck with a death wish. You see, my housing area is governed by a dumb fuck of a politician. That street lamp had been fused ever since I was a small kid and it had NEVER been changed in more than 10 years. Every election time, he says that he will get down to it, but along with repairing the roofless bus stop, the bloody lier never does.
Now, this dumb fuck I met, was an Indian guy as dark as the night. If he didn't already have a mirror to tell him that, his wife and young daughter could have told him that. In addition, the bloody thamby was wearing a black t-shirt and a black helmet. Of course, I didn't find out about this till much later. Oh, and he had a small matter of riding his motorbike which didn't have any lights on. But that was only a small matter I reckon.
As I was driving down my lane, I obviously could not see the fucker. I am not an old man, there is nothing wrong with my eyes. Its just the simple law of science. If you put a dark object in a background where light is absent, you are not going to see shits. So the stupid thamby, who could obviously see the lights from my car, made no effort to avoid me or move out of my way.
Some 10 feet away, the Gods were looking down upon him for the moon suddenly got brighter and I saw an outline of a shadow. Immediately I jammed on my brakes. Like a baby turtle emrging from its shell, I saw the dumb fuck for the first time. As he rode past me, I gave him a cold, long hard stare. The bastard's response? A smile to show me his fucking white teeth.
I don't give a fuck if people want to commit suicide.
Its none of my business if they want to use a gun, a rope, or gravity.
But I draw the line when they want to involve me.
You see, the bloody fucker probably didn't understand Newton's 3rd Law of motion. Every force applied has an equal and oposite reaction. That means if the git rammed his bike into my car with a force of 1000N, my car will apply exactly the same force back at him. And when riding a bike, it is not a very good idea getting that amount of force affecting you. It means, that you, your young wife and your two year old kid will get thrown in the air. It also means that I won't have another peaceful night of sleep ever for the rest of my life. But apparently, the asshole thought it was something to smile about.
** Note for my foreign readers - 'P' licence is a probationary licence that we have to use for 2 years after passing our driving test, under which we are under probation and that licence can be suspended if we are involved in an accident**