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Monday, July 26, 2004

just eat it

I met a doctor on Friday. She looked aneroxic. Malnourished. A bag of bones. Skeletal like. But the irony is, she gave me advice on healthy lifestyle when I think she could do with some advice herself.

Dr. Bones : So, do you drink?

Vincent : Of course. Humans, unlike skeletons need water. Without water, we die. How about you? Do you drink?

Dr. Bones : No. I mean do you drink alcholic beverages?

Vincent : Well, yeah. Of course. I know how to enjoy life.

Dr. Bones : Did you know that consuming alcohol is bad for health? Why you still choose to drink?

Vincent : Hmm. Did you know, KL's API (Air Pollution Index) is quite high. It causes serious resipratory problems in the future. So why you still breathe?

Dr. Bones : Ok then. Let's make a pact. You drink less and I will breathe less.

Vincent : Okay.

Dr. Bones : Good. Now, drink occasionally. Only when you have friend's birthdays or stuff like that.

Vincent : Okay.

Dr. Bones : And when you drink, try to dilute your drink.

Vincent : Ok-wat? Fuck? What did you say? Dilute???

Dr. Bones : Yeah dilute. Try to put ice in your beer. Or mix one can of beer with one can of water.

Vincent : ...........................

(30 seconds later)

Vincent : Dude, you've gotta be shitting me.

Dr. Bones : No, I am serious. Its bad for your liver.

Vincent : ..........................

(30 seconds later)

Vincent : Woman, here's 5sen. Go buy yourself a life.

**She later advised me not to smoke (which I don't), not to eat chicken feet and wings, not to eat prawns too often, not to eat pigs intestines, not to eat sausages, not to eat Maggi mee, not to drink fruit juice (?!?!).

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That kinda shit reminded me of a joke:

Old man : Doc, doc. I am already 80 years old. Tell me how to prolong my life. I wanna live to 100.

Doc : Do you drink?

Old man : No

Doc : Do you smoke?

Old man : No

 Doc : Do you gamble?

Old man : No

Doc : Then why the fuck do you wanna live for so long for?

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I reckon, Dr. Bones doesn't have a clue how to live life properly. She's leading a life not worth living. Live to eat, not eat to live -- people should learn to live by that rule. Some women like to watch their weight by eating one carrot a meal -- what the hell for? I just don't geddit.




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