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Tuesday, July 20, 2004

sugarladies

There is a cool phenomena which should be thoroughly observed when the skies open up and it starts raining.
 
Dogs always take a shit, just before it rains. And after they take a shit, they sniff their shit longer, circle it three times and sniff it again. After that, they run around the compound for a while before shitting a smaller lump of poo. When you see that happen, I suggest you run and take cover, cause it usually rains 2 minutes after that.
 
Haha. If any of you believed that, I reckon you have serious issues by being too gullible.
 
Anyways, I am talking about some "Sugarladies". Sugarladies are women made entirely out of sugar. They smell like sweet, they look sweet, and probably taste sweet too. Most Sugarladies are young ladies, either studying or working. Now, the most important characteristic of a Sugarlady is that, like sugar, they disolve in water as well.
 
Rain to them is like acid to flesh. Highly corrosive. Like a highly toxic waste that was discharged by a condom factory. Therefore, hardly surprising that when it rains, that is the time when National Geographic Channel's photographers get the most job to do. Cause you can see all sorts of weird things going on.
 
Like, when Sugarlady wants to run to her car from, say a five-foot-way. The car is 10 metres away. Instead of sprinting straight to it, Sugarlady runs with one hand over her head with the hope that the width of her palm is enough to shelter her crowning glory from the unforgiving acid rain. Apparently, Sugarlady's hand is not exactly made of sugar, so it won't melt.
 
We all know, from watching TV and from common sense, that we can run the fastest when we have two hands in front of us, moving front and back. So, by putting ONE fucking hand on top of her head, not only does it serve no purpose in acting as an umbrella, it also slows her down drastically.
 
But, I just figured out why Sugarladies have to do that. That's cause, over the years, they hadn't done that. The rain obviously coroded the top of their skull and exposed their brain. The rain then disolved part of the brain, thus making them stupid. Kinda like a chicken and egg story you know. Are they acting like that in the rain because they are stupid, or are they stupid cause they acted like that in the rain? I dunno.
 
Also, one quick note. Only women and Ahquas carry umbrellas around when its not raining. So, if you are a guy and you are one of those people who carry an umbrella around when its bright and sunny, well, I suggest you cut of your testicles and feed them to the staring hyenas in the Iraqi zoo. After that, go to Thailand and get a new pair of boobs. Then call yourself Lulu and continue with the umbrellas.

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