Friday, August 13, 2004

camp stories - chapter 2 : chicks

Chicks are essential for every camper. Nowadays, there are a shit loads of different types of chicks in the market. Chune chicks and ugly chicks galore, but none more important than the practicality of the chick which you want.

I got my first chick when I was 12 years old. My mum gave it to me as a present. But she was superstitious about giving chicks for birthdays. Most housewives are anyway. So she gave it to me shortly after that.

Her name was Swiss Army. Probably the most well known chick in the world. But then again, 12 year old kids really dunno much about chicks. She was useful, came with a tweezer, 2 blades, a metal saw,a wood saw, a file, cockscrew corkscrew, and a lot of other fancy stuffs. However, I soon realised that those fancy mini gadgets were firstly damn fragile and secondly damn bloody impractical. Like the saw for example. Who the hell uses a saw while camping? If there is any wood you need to cut, a parang would cut it in no time.

Cockscrews are used to open wine bottles, which are definately not found in the jungle. So, as many gadjets she had, the only 2 I used were the blades and the can opener (which is incidentally biased against left handed people like me).

This was my first foldable chick. Like a gymnast you know. This type of chick is probably the most practical type of chick. You pinch the hole at the blade with your thumb and your index finger and swing it to flick out the blade. Once the blade is out, it has a safety catch so that it doesn't accidentally fold back and injure yourself. Most virgins are not familiar with this, so when most people play with my chicks, they can't seem to complete the cycle.

However, Smith and Wesson really do not know how to make chicks. They make guns and they should probably stick to that. The blade on this chick got blunt very fast and isn't as sharp as it looks.

My third girlfriend - my favourite. A real gymnast. A Spyderco. Probably the best chick maker in the world. Has a unique safety lock, and is still as sharp as she was when I first used her. Although not as hot looking as my second girlfriend, this one is a real handy chick.

My newest girlfriend. Might soon become my favourite. As sharp as a samurai sword. She is like a mini parang. Kinda like the type of chick that Rambo shags as well. Comes with a cool dress so that she is not left naked. Another Spyderco, but I might soon rename her as BloodLover. Cause I ACCIDENTALLY pricked the neighbour's cat while testing the blade.

Don't worry. I am not a serial killer.

Ramblings: Post a Comment

<< Home