Tuesday, August 24, 2004
Since the school holidays have started on Monday, my colleague has been bringing her 6 year old kid to the office. Today, he took a liking to me, maybe cause I was the smartest ass who could make a proper paper plane for him. Big mistake. He kept bugging my ass after that.
This kid, lets call him Dexter, is actually quite a smart little twit. First, he drew me a few pictures of dinosaurs and monkeys and some other shits. Didn't know what most of the drawings were. Although, I must say, even at 9 years old, I couldn't draw those things as well as Dexter did.
He was sitting on my desk the whole day, and like most 6 year old kids, he talks a lot. Fucking lot. He told me he had tuition on Thursday (yeps, 6 year old kid having tuition -- an outrage!). Besides that, I also had my music playing on my comp. At one instance, Eminem's Real Slim Shady started playing in the speakers. Rapping along to it, I continued doing my work.
Vincent : ....and thats the message we deliver to little kids....and expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is...
Dexter : Vincent kor kor, what is clitoris?
Vincent : Oh, clitoris? You dunno? They never teach you in school meh? Here, let me show you.
**Yes, yes I know my art skills suck. Don't bitch ok.**
**Yes, yes I know that that isn't exactly the clitoris, but I couldn't think of a better way of drawing it. Don't bitch ok.**
Dexter : Oh...ok. I go show mummy.
Vincent : Go on then.
Few minutes later.....
Vincent : Show mummy already?
Dexter : Yes. She said she wants to talk to you afterwards.
Vincent : Ok.
Dexter : You know, I like pets. I went to pet shop and saw BIG BIG crocodile. Also SMALL SMALL rat.
Vincent : You saw crocodile ar? Haha. Really ar? Why you didn't buy?
Dexter : I don't like crocodile. I like dog. I want big big girl dog.
Vincent : Girl dog??? Oh, you mean a bitch? Why you want a bitch for? Why no guy dog?
Dexter : Because, girl dog can have other small dogs. So after the girl dog die, can have another small dog, and then after that one die, can have sommore. Cause girl dogs can make small dogs.
Vincent : Haha. Really ar? Who told you?
Dexter : Yes, my teacher told me.
Vincent : Your teacher is a big fat liar. You need one guy dog and one female dog. You know what a bird bird is?
Dexter : Yes! I also got!
Vincent : Yeah, the guy dog must put his bird bird into the girl dog's clitoris. And then only can make small dog.
Dexter : Huh? How?
Vincent : Aiyah. I busy la. Go ask your mum.
Dexter : Muuummmmmmmmyyyy...!!!
I felt so proud after that. I taught a 6 year old kid 3 new things today - how to make a paper plane, a simple biology lesson, and the birds and the bees.
*Relax...What do you think I am?
*I did have the brains to remove all the Eminem and 50 Cent songs from my playlist when he sat next to me.
*I just drew the picture 5 minutes ago.
*And he did tell me about the girl dog, but I didn't teach him about the birds and bloody bees