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Thursday, September 23, 2004

boring

It was a damn boring day today.

1) Woke up. Missed breakfast. Breakfast served only until 9.30am.
2) Surf net. Read news. Read blogs. Find game. Play game. Won it.
3) Went for project selection.
4) Shift my stuff from George's house to my hostel. Bitch ass cab driver.
5) Missed lunch. Lunch served only until 1.30pm. Reached back at 1.35pm.
6) Bum around in Freshers Fayre. Its where they con freshers (and other people) into joining certain societies.
7) Got conned by 2 women. After that got conned by a gay looking guy.
8) Played football. Ain't played in 5 months. Tired after running for 30 mins.
9) Played a stupid cool online game. Tried to do better than this morning.
10) Type blog.

Shit, that was boring. Nothing interesting to report.

Sod it, let's try again.

Somewhere in the planet of Alphapha, lies a great big temple. Living in the temple is a great big mighty God. And the story has it that I am that great big mighty God. Life is good. Champagne falls from the sky as rain, and there is an abundance of good food around. All I do is sit around and watch tv. And blog too. Oh, and more importantly it is a planet where my bedroom is the most active place around.

What a good life, until...

HAHAHAHA!

Bloody slug infested hell!! I wake up from my dream and look out the window. Some cunt faced freshers are passing by the road below my room to go to the Freshers Fayre. Like a bunch of sex-deprived hyenas, they emit ridiculous amounts of noise, a million decibels over the accepted limit, laughing like as though they saw a giant panda having sex with a goat.(Actually, to be honest, I don't really know how sex-deprived hyenas sound like. But I am guessing it sounds like those girls who passed below my room). I open my window, flash them my giant monster snake, and then close my window and draw my curtains shut.

Why did I do that? Cause I figured that if they were sex deprived, then the sight of something so marvellous like that, would drive them to insanity cause they won't be able to have it. And because of that, they will end up raping each other. How would that keep them quiet? Cause we all know, in lesbian sex, and with the absence of a toy, fingers and tongues are used. Now, with the tongue used to do other things, they can't talk anymore. I reckon that is what happened, cause after that, I didn't hear anymore noise.

Over the summer, I kept my stuffs in George's house. Now, that I am back in the hostel, I need my stuffs back. I mean, do you expect me to leave my notes there? How am I going to study then? And if I don't study, how do you expect me to do well in my exams? And if I don't do well in my exams, how do you expect me to get a good job? And if I don't get a good job, how do you expect me to make my first million by the time I am 32? And if I don't have my first million by 32, how do you expect me to rule the world later on? Use your head please.

Taxi drivers here are a bitch. Well, actually bastards. Cause I ain't seen a woman taxi driver before. (Eh? Just figuring out why we only use the term bastard for guys, cause technically a bastard is a person who was born before their parents got married, so can be either girl or guy)

So let me rephrase. Taxi drivers here are big dicks. Not saying that they have big dicks. I said they ARE big dicks. Firstly, that overgrown piece of bacteria told me that he wanted to charge me more to put my stuffs in the cab. Which is unacceptable, cause that is a rule that they created themselves. Then, he wanted to drive through the longer way so that he could chalk up more distance on the meter. I took out my shoe and smacked him. But the stubborn git still wanted to go the long way. Finally, I ripped off the taxi meter and shoved it so far up his ass, that the meter won't be seeing sunshine for a long long time. I was actually quite surprised on how easily it went in. Hmmmmm. Must have been loose for some reason or another.

Went for Freshers Fayre as it is just opposite my hostel. They give out a lot of free stuffs there. Usually the corporate companies give the most free stuffs. Besides that, there are a lot of societies that students can join. Malaysian Society is one of them. I got 2 damn cool booklets with lots of free food vouchers in it. Like Nando's buy one get one free.

I saw some friends I knew at the Malaysian Society booth. They asked me to let them see the booklet. I showed them...they took it.....and kept it. I got conned. And mind you, I don't get conned very often. After much persuasion with my extraordinary persuasive skills, I managed to get one back. The other one, well, the other conwoman wanted to keep it. And after a while, I thought, ok, let her have it. But then, after I let her keep it, she wanted to give it back to me cause I think I bugged her too much earlier. I guess she felt bad. I then felt really bad and wanted her to keep it. See, I am a nice guy after all. But during this school children hassling of "You take la" and "No no, you have it" this gay looking guy swooped in and conned both of us, taking it and keeping it for himself. Gay looking guy, if you are reading this, well, errrr........try not to look so gay.

Reading some blogs this morning, I found a game courtesy of Olivia which I will played. In short, its anime porn. Its very much like The Sims, whoever has played that ridiculous game. Objective of the game is to make money, build your charm, strength and knowledge, and try to pick up a girl in the bar. After you get her to talk to you, you gotta get her to go on a date. Its a progression thingy. Then you kiss. Then you get her into a love hotel. And then, finally, you, erm, perform the old and noble art of fornication. All in all, you have only 100 days to stick your thing into her cavity. Not her tooth cavity, mind you.

In the first attempt, I managed it on the 100th day. Just only made it, as I had ran out of cash. As a reward, they let you watch an anime video. First, you choose whether you want position 1 or position 2. I later found out that position one is fingering, while position 2 is using the more conventional sausage. You gotta press the up arrow key to keep the thing moving in and out. There is an orgasm meter at the corner of the screen, but I can't figure out how to make her come. Maybe someone can play and tell me.

I hadn't played football in 5 months. So, I am quite dead now. Well, half dead, Cause blogging is more important. I am going to sleep now. Hopefully, I can continue the Planet Alphapha dream without hyenas disturbing me.


*Note -- there is something really really different about today's post. If anybody can tell me what it is, I'll reward everybody by posting the password for that game. So you won't need to play the game but get to go straight to the option for Position 1 or Position 2.*

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