Friday, September 17, 2004

explanation required

I went out with my good friend Tinkerbell, just two days ago. When I saw her, I nearly took out one of my chicks and cut out her throat. I thought she had mutated into a pontianak. It was fucking scary.

Why you ask?

She suddenly had long BROWN hair. Its kinda mix between brown and gold. Some kinda Ahlian colour. Besides, she was wearing some kinda Gucci sunglasses which I told her made her even more ahlian.

Vincent : Eh, you know or not, you look like an ahlian these days.

Tinkerbell : *sticks out her 3 foot long pontianak tongue and wraps it around my neck, squeezing it until I can't breathe*

Vincent : I got question.

Tinkerbell : *shoots me a pontianak look--if wrong question--you DIE*

Vincent : Why do women waste money to colour their hair an unnatural colour and put some kinda mud on their face?

Tinkerbell : What waste money? Its money well spent.

Vincent : Not waste? 400 fucking bucks to make your hair look like a wig. Hundreds of bucks for some kinda white mud to put on your face. Not waste ar?

Tinkerbell : Its to enhance our look mah.

Vincent : Why need to enhance? Natural beauty not enough ar?

Tinkerbell : Different. This one looks better mah. Besides guys like mah.

Vincent : Oh. Say earlier la, you do it cause guys like it? But what happened to all that thing about "men should appreciate us for who we are" bullshit?

Tinkerbell : Also we want to look good for ourselves.

Vincent : Tell you what looks better. Face lift. Liposuction. Breast implants. All enhance mah. You agree or not?

Tinkerbell : NOOOOOO....plastic surgery is wrong.

Vincent : Whats the difference? Both also enhance. Both also make you look different. You tell me. What's the difference?

Tinkerbell : Big difference.

Vincent : What is the difference? Both also turn you into something different. Both also waste money.

Tinkerbell : I pity your girlfriend. Then, I pity your wife after that.

Vincent : Yeah. I pity them too. But that's not the issue. The question is, what is the difference?

Tinkerbell : The difference is -- *transforms into a monster pontianak and uses a laser beam with her bloodshot eyes to poke a few holes in my skull, exposing my overgrown brain giving me a splitting headache*

*Moral of the story : Sun Tzu's Art of War says, when fighting an enemy, and the bugger is losing, NEVER corner him. Always give him a chance to escape. Cause if he can't escape, he will fight till death, which causes bigger reprecussions for yourself. You see, I made a mistake and I have a headache now.


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