Friday, September 24, 2004

flaunting it

*I have a story. It is about me. Writting this for two reasons - cause I am fucking bored and don't have anything better to do. Also for my anonymous readers to know me better. Besides, I am having a funny writer's block. The last few posts would have given you that idea already. Anyways, read if you want to. Bitch if you want to. I promise I will get back my funny bone by tomorrow. Really.*

A lot of people say that I have an ego problem. I say, ego, and its problems are relative.

Its like a woman with big tits walking down the street. Some of them wear baggy t-shirts to hide it. Some of them wear tight fitting clothing to show others that they do in fact have big jugs. Others, take it to another level by wearing shirts with a low neckline, which allow people to have a peep at their cleavage which is as deep as a monsoon drain.

Then comes women with small tits. Some of them wear baggy shirts so that people can't notice it. Some stuff their bras with tissue, and then wear tight fitting clothing. Others, don't give a hoot that they don't have much cleavage to show, and wear shirts with low necklines anyway.

Its the same with ego. I say, if you have something, flaunt it all you like. Whats wrong with that? When you encounter people who flaunt their capabilities freely, they are belong to either two groups of people. The first type is the so-called empty tins. They make the most noise but can't do anything for shits. In the metaphor, they are like the flat chested woman who walked down the street in a low cut neckline. Not saying its a bad thing, but most people seem to think they are making an arse out of themselves. Well, if they are comfortable making an arse of themselves, whats wrong with that?

Then comes the second kind. The kind who are good and know they are good. These are the dudes which other people despise the most. Personally, I love them. You see, this type of people flaunt their abilities for a reason. They want people to know that they are good. And it is upon that believe that they can perform better. For these guys, their flaunting of ability is often misconstrued as arrogance. And people dislike arrogance and generally want arrogant people to fail. It is based upon that that the flaunters thrive upon. They know that they cannot afford to fail as that would make them a laughing stock. And so, thats where the extra motivation to be better at what they are doing comes from. They have to keep performing well in order to keep showing off.

Me, I have never stopped flaunting the fact that I am a child prodigy, or so it seems. Prodigy, not in the sense that I could read when I was one year old. And no, I didn't solve IQ puzzles when I was 2 years old. The story of my life for the past 4 years is that I have always been younger than almost everybody -- everywhere I went. I was lucky enough to be able to start Standard One one year underaged. Coupled with the fact that my birthday is at the end of the year. So, in college, I was basically almost 2 years younger than most of my classmates.

If there is something I take immaculate pride in is that I grew up faster than everybody around me -- despite being much younger than everybody around. Like I knew since I was 13 that I wanted to be an engineer. I have known friends in college who still didn't know what they wanted to do in life. I knew never to fuck around with naive girls in school, even though it was easy and free bragging rights came along with it, cause it was not a really nice thing to do. I didn't have any stupid teenage infatuations which ended up in unneccesary tears.

Everywhere I go, people do not believe when I tell them my age. Firstly cause I look older than I am. And secondly, no 19 year old kid talks like I do. Remember when I went camping? (Read the first few posts in August) It was the ultimate compliment having everybody tell me that I am way beyond my age. Cause when a 19 year old kid gives orders and people two or three times his age sit up and listen, then surely its because they know the kid has something good to say.

Another of my proudest acheivements was before I came to the UK. I was doing an apprentice training in a local engineering firm. I was only 17 back then. My boss dumped me into the deep end of the pool. Either I kicked to stay afloat, or I drowned. It was a good way of learning, something I advocate till this day. As he would later tell me, I didn't just kick to stay afloat, I learned to swim to the shallow waters. In my second month there, he put me in charge of a project, along with it, the command of a few workers. The thing with blue collared workers, and actually workers in general, the foreman explained, was that they are a bunch of reculcitrant slugs.

If they do a good job, and you praise them, they get big headed and slack off sooner or later. If you don't praise them, they feel unappreaciated and do not bother giving their fullest. They do a bad job, and if you don't reprimand them, they step all over your head. Scold them a tad too much and the next day they come after you with a machete waiting to chop you up. Not only did I survive that one month, I came out of it with the workers having more respect for me than the foreman himself.

And why the fuck am I telling you all this bullshit for? You are thinking, Vince has lost it. Who gives a fucking rat's ass about him and his achievements?

Its because I can't fucking stand it when people talk about my age. Hey look. Age ain't a fucking barrier when it comes to working or studying or thinking straight. Age is a lame excuse. Like the time when certain unis won't let me in cause they said I was too young. Fuck them.

Like the time I was running for a post in the Malaysian Society in my uni. We had to give speeches and then answer questions from the crowd. Never till the day I die will I ever forget what a wanker in the crowd actually said, "I actually think that age is an important factor in showing the maturity of a person, therefore, I would like to know how old you guys are." It is also one of my biggest regrets that I did not put him in his place there and then.

Fuck you. I have friends 5 years older than me who are stuck in life. I know people 10 years older than me who still don't have a clue what they want in life. I, on the other hand have planned everything out since I was 16 fucking years old. Sure, some plans might not work, but at least I have a plan. Age and maturity? That's a fucking big load of horse manure. Plus, I rationalise most things better than anybody around me.

I would like to think that I am that big titted woman walking down the street with her top two buttons open, revealing her Victoria's Secret underneath. What everybody else thinks, I don't really give a shit. So there, ego?

What the fuck is an ego?


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