Wednesday, September 15, 2004

go die la..

Every Wednesday, I read in the papers, in the Aunt Agony page about kids and their fucking problems. Every Sunday, I read in the papers, in the Aunt Agony page about adults and their fucking problems. Haha. To me, its actually quite fucking funny.

Some people, or most of them in fact say that they have contemplated suicide. I actually find that fucking stupid. I don't know. Maybe my heart is made of ice. Maybe cause I have seen enough of hardship, that nothing seems really difficult after all. This morning, I read of a guy who wanted to commit suicide cause he was addicted to porn. Haha. Fuck. In that case, I think every guy would have committed suicide at one time or another.

Anyways, I know of many such people. Talking to my Kay quite sometime ago, I was actually discussing whether it was feasible for me and George to murder her, steal her money and frame her boyfriend for it. (yeah, we have something wrong with our heads, sue us) That conversation diverted to whether it was possible for us to kill her and then make it look like a suicide. She said that that wasn't possible, cause nobody would believe that she would commit suicide.

Fair enough, I thought. Its true. Nobody would believe it. So we settled for the plan to murder her and frame the boyfriend. But thats not the issue. Anyways, we later had a chat about who we knew that was most likely to commit suicide. Not surprisingly, we both came up with the same person.

It was something about that person Annie -- she kept bitching about her life. How it sucked. How people kept screwing around with her. How she was unlucky in love and all that fucking bullshit. Then I analysed Annie's face and her mannerisms. Well, any fool would think that she was a walking timebomb. I don't know. Its just like that.

Fast forward to today. Was talking to Andy and Seta and we were discussing about another dude who was most likely to commit suicide. And we all agreed on the same bugger. He likes to complain that live sucks. That sometimes its not worth it. I reckon, its the people who complain the most about life are the people most likely to jump down a building or hang themselves.

I say, fuck all these people. If they at all tell me they wanna die, well, I'll ask them, "How?" I can provide ropes, I can buy some insecticides and all. I say, this world is getting overpopulated, time to flush out all the buggers who don't want to live. The less people there are, the more oxygen there is left for the rest of us to breathe.

Its fucked up I tell you. There are people who would do anything to live for a little while more. Kids dying of AIDS. Teenagers with terminal cancer. People with so much to live for, people who hadn't lived their lives to the fullest are going to die.

But healthy people, albeit with some problems want to kill themselves. What the fuck? Everybody has problems. How severe? That depends. But is your problem as severe as the little kid lying on a bed, with the skin clinging to his bones, with a few strands of hair stuck to his scalp at odd places? Is your problem as drastic as children of war torn countries, wondering when their next meal is going to come? Is your problem as excruciating as the mothers of those children watching their own children suffer before their very eyes?

So your boyfriend dumped you after you got de-flowered. So your target girl rejected you in front of your classmates. So your friends don't like you. Big fucking deal. There are bigger problems in life than that.

Go visit a hospital. Keep your eyes open for that mother sitting in the corner, with a tear in her eye because her baby is in the treatment room and the nurses are sucking out the phelgm from his lungs. Listen to her mumble a little prayer under her breath with whatever language. Put yourself in her shoes.

If you ever want to die, or think of dying, think about all that shit. If you still think that your problem is worse than that, well, fuck off then. Go hang yourself. But before you do that, make a pact with God or something, ask him to give your life to that kid somewhere in that hospital bed.


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