Thursday, September 23, 2004

poke you water fish

There's a phrase in Cantonese "chuk leh sui yu". Directly translated, it means "poke you water fish". A water fish is described as someone really gullible or easily manipulated. Stupid, innocent, naive, whatever suits you. So, poking the water fish is to take advantage of his stupidity.

Now, if you haven't already figured out, I ain't no water fish. In fact, I am that scum who does the poking. Of course this was all when I was a small kid. Remember the art blocks story?

The term of water fish is very commonly used during big football tournaments like the European Championships and the World Cup. Cause people like betting during those competitions. The best part is, during those competitions, a lot of people suddenly get an interest in the game. Those dumb fucks get information from their neighbour's goat and from their grandfather's friend. Suddenly, everybody is an expert.

As you might guess, those overnight "experts" are the biggest waterfish. Cause they actually don't know no shits about the fucking game. That's where people like me come in. To take advantage of their stupidity and mock their expertise by giving shit odds in a game. But thats really not as bad as what I did in Euro 96.

I was in Form 1 back then. The European Championships were going on in England. Now, seasoned football fans would know that the biggest problem with football games in Europe is the time difference with Malaysia. In this case, England is 7 hours behind Malaysia. That means, when they are playing the game at 8pm, its actually 3am in Malaysia. And by the time the game finishes, it is around 5am in Malaysia. Needless to say that the result was too late to be included in the newspapers for that day.

Meaning that if a game was played at 8pm on Tuesday, it is already 3am on Wednesday in Malaysia. That means, the results only come out in Thursday's newspapers. So, anybody who doesn't follow the tournament properly won't even know the game had been played just by reading the papers. Of course, there were other methods of getting the news. Like listening to the news on the radio in the morning.

And so, little Vince back then got hit by a brainstorm. It was sooo fucking simple. Listen to the radio every morning. Keep the score in my head. Go to school and find a water fish who didn't know that the game was already over. Give him "good odds". Go home smiling. Next day, come to school smiling even broader while collecting my dough.

I got rich that month. Well, not that rich, we don't bet in such ridiculous amounts as kids do these days. Let's just say, for that one month, I had enough money to buy a Cornetto ice cream from the ice cream vendor outside the school everyday. On better days, I could even treat myself to a Magnum ice cream and a packet of Mamee Monster snacks.

Haha. Those were the days.

I have many many sins.

Its not as if I give a shit.


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