Saturday, September 11, 2004

puteri gunung ledang

*No spoilers here. Fear not.*

I just came back from watching Puteri Gunung Ledang. The stereotype was correct. Me and my brother, along with an old man and his daughter were the only Chinese people in the whole cinema. Dissapointing that hardly anybody else besides the Malays want to watch this show.

Anyways, if you didn't already know the story, here's what its all about. So, this chick, Gusti Puteri, the sister of the Sultan of Majapahit, falls in love with Hang Tuah, Melaka's finest warrior. He is actually their admiral. Anyways, some other dude wants to attack Majapahit. So, the Sultan decides to marry off his sister to the dude.

Unfortunately, she had already ran to Melaka to stay in Mount Ledang and wait for Hang Tuah(what the fuck for, I dunno). So the Sultan has another plan. He decides to marry her off to the Sultan of Melaka. Cause at that time, Melaka was some kinda big bully. Nobody dares to disturb them. The Sultan of Melaka, being a horny fucker, thinks that that is a good idea. Hang Tuah is torn between his loyalty to his country and his love to his chick. A lot of supernatural stuffs here. That chick -- fucking dangerous bitch witch.

Let me break it down for you.

Special effects - 1/5. Well, to be honest, the special effects suck. I wasn't expecting Dragonball effects like what we saw in the Matrix. This ain't Hollywood. But then again, I expect something more than an amateur video shoot. The explosions look crap. Looks like some kinda yellow flames that some moron drew with Flash. Another scene with butterflies flying around Hang Tuah looks like yellow aliens visiting him. There was a fight scene in the beginning with a seriously horrible shoot. Cameraman ought to be shot and castrated. Big boo boo there.

Story - 4/5. Nothing much to do with the movie actually. Its the story by itself. An old legend. Read any of those kiddies story book and you will basically find the same thing. But the way the love story was filmed, I really have to say, its one of best love stories I have ever watched. And thats saying a lot. All those crap shows like "A Walk to Remember" -- they lose hands down to this.

Script - 5/5. No shits. I actually don't know whether the lines are cheesy. But I actually think they were damn beautiful. Never knew that the old Malay language was so poetic. Events and people are described as another object, leaving much room for interpretation. Maybe its cause I haven't heard people say stuffs like that before. Cause really, saying those stuffs in English would sound fucking corny.

"Jikalau kekanda tidak kembali, dinda berjanji akan menyusuli kekanda. Menginjak pada tanah yang sama, bernafas pada udara yang sama." (or something along those lines) Now, try saying that in English. "If you don't come back, I swear I will go looking for you. Until we step on the same soil and breathe the same air." Nah, it just doesn't cut it. Besides, I and YOU do not make really accurate translations for Kekanda and Adinda. It just doesn't have the same effect.

Acting - 3/5. I always liked M. Nasir. I always thought he was a cool dude. And so, for this, as the hero, its well suited. Tiara Jacqulina as Puteri was great too. She's got a damn fierce looking face but sweetens up during the love scenes. There is a part where she is bewitching the jungle vines -- damn, she actually looks hot in there. The Sultan of Melaka, though is a real prick. Ain't got a clue what the fuck his name is. He looks like Rashid Sidek. And I fucking hate Rashid Sidek. Firstly, he is one hell of a fucking ugly king. But thats not his fault. I think, he really can't act for shits. He looks like a horny teenager in the scene with his wife (1st wife). Besides, he looks like Rashid Sidek. And I fucking hate Rashid Sidek. Oh, have I mentioned that before?

Musical Score - 3/5. I love the theme song. It really makes you think of the jungle. Some kinda spiritual stuffs. The other parts and bits and pieces were equally good. Some of the songs for the dances really makes you wanna get up and dance to the tune. Sound effects are kinda dull though. There is nothing special about it. The usual Ka-boom for explosions. The usual eerie dum-dum-dum sound in a tense situation. Or the usual high pitch tone when the characters find out something -- bad news or whatever.

All in all, I wouldn't say its a show I will watch again. The only way I'll watch it again is with a chick by my side. Not cause it sucks, but cause its not much fun watching love stories again. I say, watch it once and walk out of the cinema a happy person. Its good, but not really fantastic. I recommend it if you wanna catch a movie and don't know what to watch. I also recommend it as a partner kinda movie. You know, with your girlfriend or wife or mistress or concubine. Go watch it, let them cry a bit, then go home and have a nice shag.

One of my best friends asked me what show to watch with this guy she was going out with. First date. I told her to watch this show. She said that the guy doesn't watch Malay shows. Big lie. What she actually meant was that BOTH of them don't watch Malay shows.

Just now, she told me that she couldn't have chosen a worse show to watch on their first date --Anacondas 2.

Fucking hell, I told her to avoid that sohai show. What on Earth would compel people to watch a bunch of retarded cunts getting chased by a bunch of fat overgrown cold-blooded snakes? -- and on their first date too. I don't fucking know. That show sounded like a lame ass show right from the beginning.

Moral of the story : ALWAYS trust Vincent.


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