Thursday, October 14, 2004
First, let me describe the snooker room in my university's sports centre. Its a large room, spacious and quiet in the corner of the building. The location is perfect, far from the basketball courts, it is eerily quiet. Any noise you hear in the room would come from the players and the clashes of the balls.
Labels: awesome theories
There are 3 tables, all positioned nicely within the room so that the players do not interefere with one another. The table in pristine condition as the carpet is stripped and changed very often. Smoking is not allowed in the room unlike most snooker centres. No where in Malaysia have I played in such perfect conditions.
As such, many people find these conditions very condusive for playing, and for other activities. Now, I frequent the room two times a week, once with my friend George, and once more to practice on my own. As of late, I noticed a very significant increase of female snooker players.
Some girls come with their boyfriends to watch. Never mind them. Whats more interesting is the people who obviously are not a couple. In an attempt to woo a girl, a guy brings her to the room to teach her the game. Maybe and hopefully, to impress her. Again, nothing of my business what the guy wants to do.
However, I have to question the wisdom in that. You see, in theory, snooker rooms are as quiet as a library. As with the flipping of pages in the library, you have the clashing of balls in a snooker room. It is common courtesy to shut up and let other people concentrate on their game. Snooker is not a social game. You are not supposed to talk at all.
Therefore, people who go on dates in snooker rooms clearly did not think it through. What kinda date can you not talk to your partner? And if you talk, it is just purely inconsiderate. Not an impression you want to leave on somebody you want to impress, yes?
Then theres a stony matter of guys who actually TEACH girls how to play. They make a whole load of noise. Better still, the guys who are crap at the game. You see, for beginners, snooker looks like a damn easy game. So, when you do make a mistake at a seemingly "easy" shot, it looks stupid on you.
Snooker is not like basketball or football (girls like nothing more than watching a bunch of guys play basketball). It requires no physical strength. It is a game of technique and concentration. Compared to basketball, there is no question which game will impress chicks more.
That's what I always thought. Until last night. I was there practicing alone, when a couple came in. I was having a shitty night and most of my shots were off target. So I took a while, sat down, and watched the "couple" play. I don't think they were a couple. Just a guy trying to woo a girl or teaching her how to play the game.
I can't believe that after playing the game for 3 years now, it was just last night that I noticed the many advantages of taking a chick to play snooker. Just last night. Fucking unbelievable.
If you have seen a snooker player in action, try to recall his pose as lines up to cue to ball. Bent over the table, chest low, nearly kissing the table. Itchy bastards stand facing the chick, and lo-and-behold, full view of a huge gaping monsoon drain. Alternatively, they stand behind the girl, staring at her full ass as she bends over to strike the ball. Some girls wear low cut jeans, so sometimes their red lace panties show.
Then, theres also the chance of holding a chick's hand. On the pretext of teaching her how to hold the cue stick. On the pretext of teaching her how to steady her hand. Many many reasons can arise, all to get close to the girl. He could "hug" her from the back as she tries to line up a shot, adjusting the position of the stick and her hands, his nose sniffing the fragrance of her hair. All so fucking convenient.
Moral of the story : Guys are horny people.
Labels: awesome theories