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Tuesday, November 16, 2004

shocking realisation

One fine day, somebody somewhere wrote this program and called it Ares. Few years (or months) later, Vincent used it and became very happy. Ares, Kazaa, Napster - same thing. You can share files with other people using that program.

Anything you are looking for -- you can find it. Movies, MP3s, TV shows, porn, pictures of nakes people, pictures of idiots on holiday. Basically anything you can think off. What makes it even sweeter for use is that it allows me to share files with people on the uni network, and being a damn T1 line, I can basically download a file of somebody on the network at around 500kbps. For people who share their C drive on the network, I can even access their files and copy it straight off them.

Ok, that boring story above has nothing to do with the shocking realisation that I discovered just now. Its more of an excuse, or a justification, if you may. You see, I stumbled upon this person's comp, which had a large collection of Disney movies. I figured, I haven't watched Disney movies in a fucking long time, so why not download a few and watch? There was Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast and Little Mermaid.

I just watched Little Mermaid. Now, that show holds a special place in me. Why? Not because of a mermaid in a bikini. Its because that show made me realise that I was a fucking genius. Long ago, in my juvenille years, when I was still a dumb little boy chasing chicks with stupid daydreams, I made a startling discovery. Little Mermaid was the favourite show for 95% of girls of my generation when they were little kids. The song Ariel sings when she was wishing for her price was called 'Part of Your World'. Out of that 95%, all of them would have it as their favourite song. Why is was such data important?

Say, you want to dedicate a song to a chick on the radio. Or say, you want to give a chick a CD with her favourite songs on it. Don't know what song she likes? Or say, you wanted to rent a movie but didn't know what kind she likes. Not a fucking problem. Little Mermaid, Part of Your World and you won't go wrong.

Why? Cause it rekindles old memories, brings her back to her kiddy world, and makes her realise that she was sooo fucking stupid to think it possible that a prince would marry a girl he found on the beach 3 days after meeting her. Also makes her realise that its fucking stupid to think that true love is found with a single kiss and that everybody can go home after that and live happily ever after. Ok, maybe not the last two. They were true, and she will probably realise it already, but thats not something you want to bring up.

Now, again, that was not the shocking realisation I spoke off. Cause I already knew all that.

What I just realised is Disney movies are a fucking direct rip-off from Bollywood.

How, you ask? Everybody makes fun of the fact that in Bollywood movies, the characters suddenly start singing and dancing around tree, rolling down hills, and suddenly 20 random people join the happy couple and start dancing in unison. But everybody fucking forgot that Disney movies are exactly the same fucking thing!! And nobody takes the piss out of Disney movies! WHY THE FUCK NOT??

Let's see. In Little Mermaid, they start singing, and suddenly 100 other fishes come out and dance around the corals (corals, trees, same thing). In Lion King, both the lovers roll down the fucking hill. Oh, random animals join in the dance too. In Aladdin, random people in the market place sing and dance along with the dude. In Snow White - yes Snow White, that ancient 1930s movie, fucking birds and squirells sing and dance with her. What the fuck is this conspiracy all about?

Why does everybody victimise poor Bollywood when fucking Disney is doing the same thing? I have become very disgusted with the world. I am shocked beyond all imagination possible. I am disturbed at my genius for being the first person to my knowledge for realising that. Don't.......disturb me. Go away.

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