Friday, January 07, 2005

punching bag - snowy girl

We all have friends that we use as punching bags. When feeling down, there are friends whose shoulders you cry on. There are others whom you use to make you laugh. Of course, these guys are to be used at anytime as and how you wish. They serve one purpose - to be humiliated so that you can laugh at their expense, and along with your other friends, poke fun at them. Which leads to another purpose - to be well liked. Men like it when they are at the centre of attention. The more they can take the piss out of somebody, the better for their ego. Needless to say, I am pretty darn good at making fun of people.

Usually, I have a 'fuck them if they can't take a joke' attitude. Actually, that explains why women find me funny, all except women I have a thing for. But never mind that.

This is the start of a brand new chronicle describing to best memory all the punching bags that have existed in my life. The first of this is about this girl from college called SnowyGirl.

SnowyGirl has a weird persona. What's in it? It all starts with the name. She's like all those ahlian women I detest so much - those who give themselves an English name to sound cool. Unfortunately, I can't reveal her said name for privacy purposes, but I can assure you that its along the lines of Fish, Sunshine, Fruit......stuffs like that.

Now, SnowyGirl is actually a nice girl. She's friendly, sometimes over friendly, and a good person. Unfortunately, she has two attributes which do not bode well with very many people - a fake accent and a kiasu attitude. So kiasu that you might think she's Singaporean.

There was this once when Chemistry class in college got changed to another classroom. Let's say, from class A5 to B3. (A = ground floor, B = 1st floor) SnowyGirl came late to class and hence missed the announcement. The lecturer had actually left a note on the whiteboard saying that the class was shifted and asked everybody to proceed to the new class. Me and my chums thought it would be funny to change the notice on the board and ask people to go to C1.

When she called up my handphone to find out where the new class was, I berated her for her lack of ability to read notices. She then retorted that she was in C1 and there was nobody there. I then told her some prankster must have changed the board. It should have been C11 instead. So, she walked all the way to the other end of the corridor only to discover that there still wasn't anybody there. Flabbergasted, she rang my mobile again. Acting innocent, I again scolded her for having hearing problems. A11, not c11 I said. A long descend down to the ground floor, and five minutes later, she rang my mobile phone again. This time, she didn't ask where the class was, all she said was a great big FUCK YOU.

While me and my chums were laughing, our cool lecturer who overheard everything was laughing along as well. In the middle of all the laughter burst in SnowyGirl with a face as black as tar, along with Inv3rs3, who also wasn't too pleased that she was dragged along walking up and down the college. Actually, till this day, I never asked how they managed to find their way to the correct classroom.

There was another time, when SnowyGirl tried to take the piss out of my good friend VU. He had a pencil in which he carved his initials VU. VU is actually somebody like me, but his tongue failed him that day.

SnowyGirl : Hey....whats the VU stand for?
VU : My name la, dumbass.
SnowyGirl : Oh, I thought it stands for Very Ugly.
VU : ....................(something was definately wrong with him that day)
Vincent : Hey dude, ask her when her birthday is.
VU : Ah, when your birthday?
SnowyGirl : *senses something not right* Why?
Vincent : So that he can give you a mirror for your birthday.

SnowyGirl didn't open her mouth for 3 days after that.

Once, she dumbfucked VU and me, by asking three questions no girl should NEVER ask a guy, not even your boyfriend or your husband. NEVER.

1) Do you watch porn?
2) Do you wank?
3) Do you watch other guys?

We replied with, "What the fuck is your problem?" To which she said she wanted to check whether her boyfriend was normal. Apparently, he told her that he masturbates a lot, mostly while watching porn, and sometimes gay porn. We told her that he was normal. Especially the 'gay porn' part, cause guys, like girls like to compare stuffs. We never did remember to correct her. Boy, she must be picking all the wrong sorts of boyfriends these days if she still followed our advice.


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