Sunday, February 27, 2005

first and last time

If you read my blog a few days ago, there was an article which mentioned that I was acting in a play. That was last night.

Apparently, besides the costume that we have to wear, another important accessory was putting goo makeup on your face. One fine day, many many moons ago, some idiot thought it would be a good idea to get women to use that makeup thingy. On another fine day, another idiot thought it would be an even better idea to make men wear makeup on stage. That theory stuck, and all over the world, actors have to endure all that crap on their face.

It was no different last night. I arrived at the dressing room to find all this crap on the table :

Of all that crap, I could only identify and correctly name 3 items. Lipstick, hair pin, hair gel. I never knew the difference between eye-liner and eye-shadow. I still don't have a fucking clue what mascara is and where you are supposed to put it.

When SnowWhite started putting all that goo on my face, she told me one by one what she was putting :

SnowWhite : Ok...now I am going to put some foundation on your face.

Vincent : What's a foundation?

SnowWhite : Its the .............. *I forgot what she said...wasn't too bothered*

Vincent : Ooooooooooooooooohhhh...

SnowWhite : Now, I am going to put some blusher.

Vincent : I don't need blusher. If I drink enough beer, my face will turn red.

SnowWhite : No no...this one is a bronzer (or some shit like that)

Vincent : Riiiigghhtt........bronze away!

SnowWhite : Now I am going to put some .............. *Again I forgot what she said*

Vincent : I wanna make a suggestion. I won't remember all those stuffs you told me. So just do whatever you want to do with my face la.

SnowWhite : *after plastering some more crap* Ok. Have a look at the mirror. Tell me if you think its enough or you want summore.

Vincent : Hehehe....do you think I will know whether its enough? I reckon 'enough' is when I don't have any makeup at all.

Notes :

1) My face looked funny. After the play I took a lot of pictures with fellow cast members and with friends in the audience. It was white and different. My eyes looked like they had been punched in.

2) That bronzer or whatever shit that was....smelt like rabbit puke. Why do women voluntarily put rabbit puke on their face? So close to the nose...can they not smell it?

3) Lipstick tastes like mud. I accidentally got mud in my mouth once when playing football. Why do women voluntarily put mud in their lips? So close to the tongue...can they not taste it?

Women are damn weird.......what happened to all that crap about natural beauty?? I have also heard many women making fun of other women. They dunno how to put makeup...they not skillful enough. I just have this to say to those people. So, you guys are proud of being able to deceive men?

Oooh....by the way, that above picture reminded me of one thing. Guys can't name more than 5 things on that picture. However, I think 10% of women out there doesn't even know what the picture below is. The remaining 90% probably can't even name what the red arrow is pointing at.

**If you are a guy and don't even know what the red arrow is pointing to, please stop reading, cut off your balls with your kitchen knife, and feed them to the starving hyenas in the Afghan zoos. Then go to Thailand to get yourself a pair of boobs before you come back to this site.

Labels: ,

not going to show us what u looked like? hahahahahaha.



is that a microscope? i think i've seen similar ones in my chemistry lab.. :P

ahhhhhh i'm so gonna have my balls cut off..


Vincent looked so preeeety...muahahaha! Great job btw. :) The way you acted so 'pathetically' on stage....man...was good!

god dammed munkit, please stop reading, cut off your balls with your kitchen knife, and feed them to the starving hyenas in the Afghan zoos. Then go to Thailand to get yourself a pair of boobs before you come back to this site.

its a fucking sewing machine! :D


muahahaaha! I wish i was there to watch you on stage!!
anyway, they probably used the lowest range cheapo Bronzer on you and the rest of the cast...cos the good ones smell good.
make sure you wash your face thorougly ;)


keng : over my dead fucking body

munkit/waterjunk : alright....get off my site..you know where to go.

lyn : dont worry. i washed all that shit off my face as soon as i got home. not keeping those stuffs on me one minute more than necessary.


Is the arrow pointing to the piston or the gasket of the v8 engine? not very clear =P..

from the pic? not much else i can recognize.. some extra foundation sponges, possibly cotton pieces, hair spray?, definitely eyeliner, mascara eye shadow.. is that gold glitter i see? hahaha..

btw.. used to act also.. and yes.. hated the makup.. sucked..


uhmir : not gold glitter. its safety pins in the blue packet.

umm i'm back apparently i couldn find my balls :P

i think that's a washing machine?

Ok, I'll get my balls cut off and a pair of boob


Help me Dude, I'm lost.

I was searching for Elvis and somehow ended up in your blog, but you know I'm sure I saw Elvis in the supermarket yesterday.

No honest really, he was right there in front of me, next to the steaks singing "Love me Tender".

He said to me (his lip was only slightly curled) "Boy, you need to get yourself a shiny, new plasmatv to go with that blue suede sofa of yours.

But Elvis said I, In the Ghetto nobody has a plasma tv .

Dude I'm All Shook Up said Elvis. I think I'll have me another cheeseburger then I'm gonna go home and ask Michael Jackson to come round and watch that waaaay cool surfing scene in Apocalypse Now on my new plasma tv .

And then he just walked out of the supermarket singing. . .

"You give me love and consolation,
You give me strength to carry on "

Strange day or what? :-)


hey nice posts i added you to my bookmarks

Just wanted to say everything you posted was a good read.
Its nice too see that some people create decent and entertaining blogs, yours kept me reading for well over 10 minutes.



Post a Comment

<< Home