Wednesday, February 02, 2005


I was reading an article the other day about naughty stuffs that kids do. Among the common stuffs - shoplifting. Mostly kids shoplift for the thrill and the excitement. Some of them crave to get caught, so that they have some attention. Others do it cause they want something and they can't afford it.

Me....I shoplifted only once in my life. But it was not for any of those reasons. My intentions were very honourable. Trust a thief to justify his actions...

Anyways...I was in Form 2. They had just taught us some stuffs in Science class. They were telling us about dicks and stuffs like that, and how people get pregnant. Ok, bear in mind, I think we were at that point more knowledgeble in this stuff than that old haggard Indian woman who was our Science teacher. She probably hadn't had sex in 10 years. I remember mocking her face when one dude purposely asked her 'how do men and women have sex'?

Anyways, there was something we did learn that day. They taught us about this stuff called a condom. Its a very sad situation here, a bunch of Form 2 kids who didn't know what a condom was. I think this kind of situation happens a lot in Malaysia. Sex education is necessary, but morons don't understand that.....anyway, that's not the story.

They told us about this condom thingy, how it was like a glove that fits over a man's penis (I hate that word, dick is a nicer word), and it can miraculously prevent stuffs like pregnancy and STDs. Problem is...they never showed us one. Put yourself in the shoes of a 12 year old kid (I was 12 in Form 2).....people tell you that a glove can stop pregnancy. It kept bugging me....how the fuck does a glove do that?

I was damn curious to find out. Firstly, I needed to know how the damn thing looked. I was still imagining a rubber glove that doctors use. I asked around my friends, and nobody had seen one. No way we were going to ask our Science teacher. So, we decided to go buy one and see what it looked like. We went to a nearby 7-11 to try to buy some. Not a good idea.

We got lambasted by the cashier when we tried to pay for it. (Malaysia has a law where you have to be over 18 to be able to buy condoms). We told him that we wanted to see what he looks like. He asked us to go home and ask our parents. The motherfucker thought that a bunch of Form 2 kids wanted to have a mass orgy or something. Which is kinda stupid, cause in that case, I'll definately sell those kids the condoms.

So...not being to ask our teacher, not being able to buy it from 7-11, what did we do next? Well, some dude suggested that we ask our parents. We bashed him up for being stupid. We also told him that he was welcome to try to ask his parents. The idiot came back the next day, admitting that he did not dare to ask. Would you?

So, after school, we decided that by hook or by crook, we need to land our hands on a pack of condoms. The plan was for one of us to buy something, and while the cashier was busy punching out the items, someone would grab a pack of condoms which were conveniently placed on the counter. That someone turned out to be me, cause I lost the lat-tali-lat-tali-tam-pon.

It went smoothly...I was scared of getting caught, obviously. But I was a smart kid. As soon as I flicked the pack, it went below the counter-level and out of sight of the cashier. I also surveyed the place to look for cameras. There was only one, and in no position to capture my act. After putting it in my pocket, I hang around the counter a while before casually walking out of the shop with my friend. It took less than a minute.....

So...whose fault was it? Me? My friends?

I think it was everybody's fault. Sure, I regret what I did. It was stupid, what if I got caught? But...

Does no fault lie with the dumbass teacher who teaches about condoms but doesn't show the students one? Or with the Education Ministry, who doesn't encourage the teachers to do that? Or with the damn government for not letting minors buy condoms?

We wanted to learn....but what if some kids wanted to fuck? Deny them condoms as well?

*Tomorrow - what we did with those condoms........you can try to take a guess, humour me, but there's no way you'll get the answer*


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