Friday, February 18, 2005

a woman with balls

Strictly on a Asian level here, most Asian girls I know would never chase a guy they like. They would flirt, sometimes stupidly, and do all sorts of stupid things to gain that guy's attention, but would always stop short of telling the guy how they feel, or asking him out on a date.

The 3 most common excuses :

1) Lose my dignity.
2) Will make me look cheap.
3) People won't respect me.

Mostly, they try to socialise in the same group as the person that they like. Go clubbing, try to dance in a group or something. Or work in some kinda societies thingy together. Social work, religious fellowship, stuffs like that. But I have never, NEVER seen an Asian woman, openly walk up to a cute guy and ask for his number.

Ok...I hear people screaming all over the place now. Women do pick up men. Yeah? How? When? Bars do not count - the setting encourages it anyway. Everybody goes to clubs expecting to be picked up anyway. Plus, alcohol can make you do wonders. Any place, or any activity which encourages chatting does not count either. You want a true measure of balls? Read on...

She had been noticing him for 2 weeks now. He comes into lectures, alone, always punctual. He sits somewhere in the middle row, smack in the middle of the screen in front. She watches as he unzips his bag, takes out his pencilbox, and removes a mechanical pencil. This guy - always writes with a pencil, never with a pen. Oh....he's left handed too, like me, she thinks.

She stares at his style, he fidgets in his seat a lot. He turns around, only to catch the stare in his eyes. She tries to flash a weak smile, but he had already turned his head. I shall dress nicer next week, she thinks. And dress she does, and they continue their little cat and mouse game.

This week, she is in luck. He gets on to the bus, and sees her already seated. There are no empty seats, except for the one next to her. He takes it like it is the most natural thing in the world. The silence would akward if they were not strangers.

They walk to the lecture hall together, only she walks ahead and he walks behind. She opens the first door, and leaves it open for him. Thank you, he says. She smiles. He walks ahead, and opens the next door for her. Thank you, she says. He smiles. As with the bus, the lecture hall leaves only two empty seats.

She passes him the lecture notes, and tries to conjure up her most provocative smile. Thank you, he says again. She hopes she wore enough perfurme today. He whips out his same old black pencil and starts writting again. When all is done, he starts packing up, ready to leave.

She delays. She hessitates. She contemplates. Then, without fear, without worrying whether she is pretty enough, or smart enough, she says :

"Hi....I'm Sharon"
"Oh...I'm Tom"
"I was wondering.........would you like to..........................................."

I stared from afar, never really grasping the situation. I observed as she smiled and nodded at him. I sniggered as she stammered with her question, trying to be brave, trying to say what she wanted to say.

I smiled to myself as I walked out of that place. She suddenly became the most attractive woman in that room. That lucky bastard, I thought, its not everyday you meet a woman with balls......


Nice read.It's true,not everyday you get to meet such a woman.I've always lived feeling that if feelings involve 2 peole,the other should know.It's all about honesty.Nevertheless,it's hard,I'll have to admit,especially if the 'confesee' is immature and plays the avoiding game,post-confession.Heck,if you dont feel the same way...it's too bad.Your loss.But that doesnt change the basis of the relationship right?you started off being friends,and if he decides to play the avoiding game...well there..now you know,he never really appreciated the friendship in the first place...So girls,Dont live with 'if only's'...know the story till the last chapter...Get some balls!

if every asian woman could think like her.. :) i think the world would be so much better to live in

women do have balls. a hack of a lot bigger than guys. our balls are no match in size compared to a pair of developed breast.

some guys choose to leave their balls at home (being chicken) or somewhere else, so it's understandable if women chose not to make the initial move. but if they do, which doesn't suprise me, can do a better job than men. that's why most men still listens to their mother.


back on the viewing blog thing... ur 'about me' and all the links are on the right, but the posts come after that, meaning i have to scroll down all the way past those stuffs to read ur entry... is that what its spose to be like? -k3ng-

anucia : you should tell that to all your other girlfriends

munkit : that....and if everybody could think like me. same effect, better world to live in

stan : the guys who leave their balls at home are not worth my mention.

keng : no..of course not. is your screen resolution set to 1024x768?


Yeah, I need to envelope my skill with this story..

Oh about the blog thing, I had the same problem, sometimes my posts comes after the sidebar.. and sometimes it looks fine on my comp but it looks disjointed in others comps.
Your blog looks fine on my screen.


Well...no doubts that most girls do not have the courage to confess but i do believe that not ALL guys have that kind of courage either, do they???

meigie : of course thats true. i would not for one minute think otherwise.

Equally difficult for both sides to make the first move.. Would appreciate a world where women would pick up the mantle where the guy is too chicken to..

yes its 1024 x 768... is anyone else experiencing this strange problem? -k3ng-

I hope she got a good answer from him 'cause the first time i told a guy i liked him (in person!), i got a hug and the guy replying 'that's awesome'. any guy wanna tell me why that's awesome because when i asked him why, he said 'i don't know, it's just awesome'. What in the world..

uhmir : its actually not because of the bravery bit. its like i said in the first part, a lot of them dont want to say it cuz of those 3 reasons

alynna : AWESOME! haha...thats because you should NEVER catch somebody off-guard.


Vince, gonna digress a lil' from the direction that your topic is taking to say this:

You were so mean to the girl-lar!
It probably took her every single ounce of courage to do what she did and you were "snigger"-ing at her!


i never had probs wif vincent's page.

btw i admire gals like that :D


mag : maybe not at her, but at the situation. besides....i did say she became the most attractive woman in the room.

waterjunk : i think we all admire girls like that


It's great to see lots of people out there think it's ok in this day and age for a girl to pick up a guy..

But speaking from personal experience, it's not easy to gather the guts to go up to the guy and ask him out.. My personal experience: I've done that quite a number of times but unfortunately, have always been rejected. :( Sighh.. what can I say? Not good enough? Oh well..

Having said that, I don't think my past experiences are going to stop me from continuing to go after the guy that I want.. Girl power??(Though I think my bf will be the one stopping me from doing that.. :P )


know what? my mother once told me that if a girl makes the first move on a guy and the relationship turns out great but eventually turns sour, the guy will actually go around telling his buds that "she's the one who went after me first".

that made me swear never to make the first move.

that and the fact that i have never seen a female-initiated relationship work.

don't guys get a kick out of doing the chasing and winning the girl? wouldn't depriving them of that kick be the death of any potential relationship? i think there may be some kind of double standard here. would you REALLY appreciate a girl more if she made the move instead of you?


i wish more girls were like that, but it's also true that guys treasure girls who they worked hard to court.

Good post. Another post where a guy wishes that girls were more up front about what they want etc..

We all are afraid of rejection. I'm not saying that men are immune to it either. Actually, not all women wait for men to make the first move. I'm Asian (last time I checked) and I asked my boyfriend out on a date.

To be fair, we were friends. Best friends actually. I wanted to take the friendship to another level and was hoping that he does too. That was really nerve-wrecking. Seriously.

I think that it's in the culture where women are supposed to be timid, docile and fragile creatures which rarely speak up. Except maybe to go to the toilet. In packs.


I have a theory that women go to toilet in packs because they are plotting to takeover the world, and the only way they can discuss their sinister plot and spread the word is in the toilet, away from the guys.

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