Monday, March 28, 2005
confused about sex
Global warming has had strange effects on the weather. Slightly over a month ago, the weather was showing signs that spring was here. It got warm and the flower buds were sprouting. Then, one fine day, it decided to snow. That was the most snow I had ever seen here. We even made a snowman out of all that snow. Labels: awesome theories
About two or three weeks ago, it got all warm again. A few days ago, some people up there decided that they should make it cold again. Now, this has little bearings on us superior humans. All we need to do is put on more clothes and turn on the radiator in our homes. But for the inferior living things around, that ridiculous change of climate from cold to warm to cold to warm and cold again has caused some serious confusion among them.
Every spring, we see loads of daffodils popping up everywhere. This bunch you see here is just outside my room.
Lovely, eh? The shoots popped up about 3 weeks ago, and they blommed about 2 weeks ago. That was fine because it was in the middle of the warm spell. But, another patch of daffodils also outside my room were not so lucky.
The weather has also greatly affected the ducks. There is a huge lake in the middle of my uni, and there are a shit load of ducks around. Spring marks the start of
mass orgy mating season for the ducks. However, ducks don't have calenders to tell them the date. So, they rely on the weather to tell them when they should start having sex making babies.
I saw a bunch of ducks the other day as I was walking by the lake. Actually, more like 3. I ain't no expert about ducks, but I guess there was this male duck which wanted to screw a female duck. As he tried to get jiggy with it, the female duck retaliated and started flapping her wings around crazily. You know, sort of to tell him to fuck off. That dude, like most males, are horny and didn't wanna just walk away from the free sex. He proceeded to harass the female duck again.
Then, from afar, another duck came into the picture. I am guessing he's a male duck too. He sort of told the other male duck to leave the nice lady alone, cause its not yet mating season and they shouldn't start copulating just yet. The first guy got pissed, and pecked the busybody in his face. They started fighting while the female duck watched.
This brings me to another interesting fact. As a follow up to the "How to Score" article. I was discussing those theories with a girl from my hostel. She agreed with every single bit of it and added another cool observation. She says, a lot of people tend to hook up around Easter/spring time (this time of the year). I thought a while and found that that observation does hold true when comparing with a few test subjects I knew. She however, did not have an explaination. I told her that I would try to figure that out.
And then.......it just hit me as I was typing the stuffs about the ducks (about 5 minutes ago). Ducks aren't sure when to mate. Flowers blooming is ALSO a sign that the plants are mating! Even the plants are confused when they should mate!
Could it be that horny teenagers share the same mating habits as primative ducks and yellow daffodils?
I'll get back to you on that when I come up with a more conclusive theory because I feel damn excited now - like a nuclear scientist who just discovered how to kill more people with the same amount of plutonium .
Labels: awesome theories