Thursday, March 17, 2005

dear uncle agony

Dear Uncle Agony,

I am writting to tell you of a problem I am facing. You see, recently, when I was feeling very horny, I thought it would be a good idea to get on of those things people refer to as a 'girlfriend'. Although I am a guy from that small little island, who are generally clueless when it comes to women, I found it quite easy this time around. (didn't even need help from the gomen!)

That wasn't a problem back then. This girl...Rabbit, was quite a cute girl, the type that lot of guys like. She's small, you could almost fit her in your shirt pocket. I wooed her for a while, and succeeded in no time. At the surface, she seemed like a perfectly normal person. However.....things started changing.

Most distressingly, she has extremely weird eating habits. From young, she was trained to eat boiled vegetables. Its bad enough that vegetables have no taste, and eating them is like eating grass....but eating boiled vegetables is like eating paper. She also refuses to eat fried stuffs, which means that since dating her, we have not been to a single fast food restaurant.

Initially...I didn't care. However, she has started to control my diet. I love eating junkfood, and my side drawer is full of stuffs like potato chips and chocolate chip cookies. She has officially banned me from eating anymore chocolate chip cookies even though I love it. I did not want to make her angry.....so I complied and I now stock all the junk food in my underwear drawer and eat them in secret.

Then....the other day, we ordered some Chinese takeaway for dinner. The Chinaman was kind enough to send us a complimentary bag of prawn crackers to go with our meal. I hadn't even taken a piece, when my beloved Rabbit held the bag of prawn crackers in her hands......and crushed them into smitterins!! Still....I respected her dislike for those stuffs...so I bit my tongue.

The final straw came the other day, when my parents sent me some goodies from back home. Among the stuffs I got were some pork floss (bak hu). When she saw it.....she THREW it away. She FUCKING THREW my bakhu away!

I lost it. I have never been so angry in my life. I confronted her. I asked her nicely why she did all those things. She said that she loved me and didn't want me to ruin my health by eating all those stuffs. She claimed that those stuffs would possibly cause heart problems and even cancer. Later, she told me it was for my own good, like a mother who doesn't let her kid eat loads of sweets.

That is when I melted. She showed that she cared for me. What started off as a fling slowly grew into love. I now love her a lot, and do not wish to breakup with her. However...I do not know what to do when she doesn't let me eat all those things. We very frequently go to a restaurant that sells organic food. I always feel like puking whenever I injest all that green stuffs.

I dunno what to do man....help me..

Lion Pretender

Dear Lion Pretender,

I think you need to get some balls......and more urgently, some brains.



hey i think that girl rocks :) totally cool.. if he doesn want that gf i want. and if you think she's stupid.. well too bad :P

muah ahahahahahahahahahahahah

Nice..... Very straightforward and a proper slap to the face.


lol, is this a true story or fictional? Please tell me it's true... :)

munkit : I think any day now he is about to throw her away. You can have her then.

yuenli : Its 100% true. No added spices too.


its true story? haha when i was reading it i thought it wasn't.. hahah that poor dude! ROFL!@# i'd be pissed if someone threw my bakhu and my bakgua away

avaxis : Its true alright. I didn't really believe it at first when I heard about it. But I have no pity for that guy. If he is that damn stupid....thats his downfall.

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