Tuesday, March 08, 2005
in the news today...
I had quite an interesting topic to write about, but when reading today's Star, I couldn't resist talking about two stuffs... Labels: current issues
Firstly, the headlines...
Malaysia and Indonesia to hold talks on territorial claims
Sooo....basically, we are fighting with our neighbours over who a certain part of the sea belongs to. Why? Cause there's some black gold lying down there. Apparently, they are now going to sit down for talks to discuss who the sea belongs to....and more importantly, who gets to dig up all those liquid fosillised dinosaurs and gaseous dinosaur farts which have been lying down there for millions and millions of years.
I can only imagine what those talks between our foreign minister Datuk Syed Hamid Albar, and the Indon guy (whatever his name is) is going to be like :
Syed : Hello my friend.
Indon : Hello to you too.
Syed : I have come to tell you that our government owns the sea where you can find all those black slush.
Indon : Well, you don't. We do.
Syed : Well, according to some maps that we drew in 1979, those blocks belong to us.
Indon : No shits, Sherlock?? My 2 year old son drew some maps yesterday too. You want to have a look at it? We can ask some of our people to draw some more maps tomorrow, you want to see those too?
Syed : Ok ok....there is a way to settle this. International Court of Justice would be a fair 3rd party.
Indon : No way! Those bastards gave you those 2 small islands last time. Unfair!
Syed : So what do you propose we do?
Indon : I tell you what....you take one, we take one.
Syed : No can do. Those two are ours. Why should we GIVE you one?
Indon : Noo....we are GIVING you one, since you have been so kind to all the illegal workers in your country. I mean....I don't know any other country who shoos all the aliens away, and then gives an extension for them to stay.
Syed : Yeah...we were kind! So let us have both those oil blocks!
Indon : Oh!! So that's what you are after! The oil! So without the oil...you won't bother about the sea? Thats bad attitude man. For us...we just wanted the sea so that we can patrol our warships around there to show our citizens that we have powerful navy!
Syed : Ok...you can keep the sea and the water. In fact...since you were so interested in the water, we'll give you all the sea you need. Just let us erect a couple of platforms there. Its very small...we promise!
Indon : No no no...the sea is precious..let's flip a coin for it!
Syed : That's a damn good idea..heads I win, tails you lose!
Indon : OK!
*coin lands standing up on its side*
And....other more pressing issues..
Its a baby boy...oops its a baby girl
Gist of the story.....a baby boy was born, with the male XY chromosome, but looked like a baby girl. How so? Well.....there's actually only one way to tell if a baby is a girl or boy. Apparently, if you were to have a look at the baby...you would think its a girl.
Important quotes from that article :
Their baby had a medical condition called genital anomaly. It affects one in 5,000-10,000 babies – which means between 400 and 800 people here probably have this problem. (in Singapore)
Such babies usually grow up to be extremely attractive and very feminine girls, Prof Biswas said.
Extremely attractive and very feminine? Tiuuuuuuuuu loorr............HOW?? 1 in 5000 is not a small statistic! Thats 0.02% Not a small number at all!! Sooo...how do you know if the chune chick you are after....isn't really a chick? I dunno! I know a lot of EXTRemely Attractive and VERy feMINine girlS (EXTRA-VERMINS). How??
I know you guys out there are starting to freak out. I have a suggestion. I decree that all guys should now date ugly manly blimps. The EXTRA-VERMINS would then be lonely and start getting desperate since the guys are scared and only shag blimps for their own safety. EXTRA-VERMINS then take to the streets and start protesting that they are normal and should be given a chance. Social unrest is caused...but nobody wants to listen to them......
That's where the King of Men comes to the rescue. He stops the social unrest by agreeing to start shagging all the EXTRA-VERMINS. He sacrifices his sanity and takes the chance that he doesn't shag the wrong type. In the end....everybody is happy.
Labels: current issues
2nd suggestion.. LOL no way
Simon : thats provided they don't send some people to ass rape me first