Monday, March 14, 2005
mr nice guy
*sorry I haven't been able to reply to all your comments in the previous posts...will get down to it as soon as I can..net connection in my room has been really crap...am typing this from the comp lab* Labels: awesome theories
Once upon a time, when I was young and stupid, madly chasing after chicks in school, I was under the impression that girls were sweet little things and everything about them were wonderful and perfect. On the other hand, guys were down right assholes who used to screw them over. As you would guess.....that was a stupid assumption that was quickly put to rest when I grew some brains. (you can read all about that assumption here)
And soo....back then, I figured, in order to stand out amongst all the other assholes out there, I've gotta be a nice guy. And so, I made friends with all sorts of chicks. I made friends with friends of chicks too. I went around being nice to everybody around me. For a short while, I even stopped cursing. In short, I was being a damn nice guy. However, as you would rightly guess, that ridiculous tirade of mine didn't last and I soon gave up. I was left, however, with some good friends......but that's not the point.
This brings me to the point I was trying to make in my previous post. There is always a reason to everything. Always. If someone does something nice to you, there is a damn reason. There is no such thing as a free lunch (both literally and metaphorically).....especially if you are a chick with big boobs and a pretty face.
From my earlier tirades....I got to know a lot of girls, and still do. I have said it here before, that most of my close friends are indeed girls. Everytime one of them tell me that a guy has been especially nice to them, I tell them the same thing - he wants to get into your pants. There is NO SUCH THING as a nice guy. Do NOT trust a thing with a dick. Me, a guy....and I am saying it...if you are a girl, and a random guy starts doing nice things for you, there are two possible reasons for that:
Yeah...so when a guy is nice to you, it doesn't always mean that he wants to shag you. It might be that he wants to get to your friend too. Here, he is hoping that by being nice to you, you would put in a good word for him. I KNOW! Cunning, ain't it? However........not all guys are that far sighted, so the probability is high that you are the one he wants to bed.
I have held this opinion for a damn long time, and everytime a friend tells me of a nice guy she met, I shoot him down. So far....I've always been proven right. However, there were few occasions where I personally knew the guy, and gave him the benefit of the doubt. I would, on those rare occasions personally vouch that he was a nice guy. I now say...no such fucking thing as a nice guy...and no exceptions to that rule.
Now...don't be stupid and start saying....my boyfriend is nice to me! Yes, doofus, of course he is nice to you. He is your boyfriend. I would, however be vary is he starts being nice to other random girls.
In fact.........I'll take it one step further. I'll go as far as saying...I AM A NICE GUY. That would give you a clear indication of how big of a scum guys are. I am making it a habit to tell every chick I go after about this blog. That way, at least they have a warning as to how big an ass I am.....oh wait, there was a point behind this post (and it was not me)......
Yeah...so girls...don't say I didn't warn you. I am telling you, don't go out with a guy just because he was nice to you and your friends when you hardly knew him. Its a perfectly ok reason if he was smart, or sexy, or rich, or has a car....but if you date a guy cause you thought he was 'nice', well, that's bullshit and I am going to have to call you a real big doofus.
And guys, there was a good lesson to be learned from this post...something that would help you guys out on your future quests..I obviously can't spell it out, cause women read this too. So, if you are that stupid that you can't figure it out, or misinterprete wrongly and fail in your mission........well, too fucking bad.
*In case there are any doofuses reading this, which is usually the case (I am constantly surrounded by doofuses), please note that I meant that nobody is randomly nice to you if they are strangers or acquaintances. Once you are already friends, then of course you can expect some nice treatment from friends. However, please remember that the 'no free lunch' theory applies all the same.*
Labels: awesome theories
You help people to increase your standing with them, you give charity to feel good and acquit your sins, you pray to god to reserve a seat in heaven.
But then thinking that way is kinda paranoid yah? Everyone has a hidden agenda you never know, for guys it is probably lust but to say that is to stereotype and generalize that ALL guys think with genitals, what about that fellar who didnt?
kristof : i never did say that all guys think with their dicks (please don't ever use the word 'genital') I said...no guy is nice for no reason.
Thanks for nothing!
jk. Its a great, ironic-but-true post.
I'm nice to guys because :
I want to fuck them
I want to fuck their friend
I want to fuck all their friends
kenny : Aah...that's where you missed out the lesson I was trying to teach you guys.
vader : My bad. I wouldn't understand gay people.
justine : Wow. That's a lot of sex
Doesnt that explicitly imply that ALL nice guys think with their cock, dick, pecker, brother, member (not genitals okay?)
kristof : Ah.....now I get what you mean. But that's not true, for two reasons. The first, you got it all wrong - there is NO SUCH THING as a nice guy, as I said. Secondly, those dudes don't think with their dicks. Thinking with your dick is a stupid thing. My theory - horny guys are stupid cuz blood flows to the dick leaving insufficient blood to the brain. Those dudes who do those stuffs are cunning, and very clever indeed.
What I meant that if it was repeated act of kindness to you, AND if you are a normal person (not a Sultan's granddaugther or something)
lyn : toddlers? doubt they can read. Gotta be a genius first. :P
uhmir : Yeah. I gave away small secret, but I teach big lesson. Come on...you didn't get it??
i agree i dont treat random gals super good unless i hav high a 'opinion of them'