<$BlogMetaData$>

Thursday, April 07, 2005

10 fucking minutes

In this world, there are many fuckers who don't deserve to breathe Earth's precious oxygen. Last night, one such fucker crossed my path. Well, actually, he didn't exactly cross my path, because I would have pounded him if he did.

Its the Easter holidays now, and I am staying in my friend's house (ground floor to be exact). I went up for a shower, and when I came down, the first thing I noticed was that my table was empty. Notebook was gone. Upon further inspection, my phone, wallet and coin jar was gone. It seems, while I was in the shower, a rabbid bitch climbed over the backyard fence, got in through the back kitchen window, grabbed some stuffs and got out, all in under 10 minutes when everybody in the house was in and all the lights downstairs were switched on. He could have easily been caught if anybody went down for a drink. Some balls, eh?

I immediately got hold of Kay's phone and dialed my phone number hoping I could talk to the fucker. The following conversation then took place :

Fucker : Hello?

Vincent : You motherfucker...give me back my stuffs!

Fucker : Your stuffs? Last I checked, they are still with me. I think we'll now call it MY STUFFS.

Vincent : I would have beat your ass to pulp if you were two minutes too slow.

Fucker : Well, maybe that would have happened, but I now have all your stuffs. Ha ha!


Well, doesn't that suck? First he took my stuffs, then he mocked me. (Ok....I made that up..he turned it off immediately after he took it. He had the balls to take it, but not the balls to talk to me)

But.......in every fucked up situation, there are things you could be thankful for :

1) I decided not to take a poop. Robbed that fucker 5 minutes to grab more stuffs.
2) Didn't take my passport which was on the table as I just booked my flight to Amsterdam, that would have cost much more than the notebook if he sold it.
3) Didn't take my digicam which was 3 inches away from my notebook, but he decided to take my coin jar which was filled with 1p and 2p coins (an estimated grand total of £2.59)
4) Didn't take my brand new Motorola V3 which I just got that morning and was still charging, but he instead took my Nokia 7650 which he would find has a faulty on/off switch.

Of course, there are the things you curse :

1) If only I hadn't watched that stupid Liverpool, I would have showered much earlier and wouldn't have left my room after that. This gives me another reason to hate Liverpool.
2) If only I had continued watched tv after the game.
3) If only there were a few minutes here and there....like if I had taken a quicker shower, I don't care if I was wrapped in a towel..if I saw the guy in my house, I would have fucking pounded his ass (not to be taken literally)

Oh...yeah...and superstition comes into play here. I always say..some people have smelly mouths. 2 days ago, when I was on the phone with Vodafone, negotiating a new deal which got me that Motorola V3, the woman asked me whether I wanted to buy insurance. I told her that was not necessary, as I am a damn careful person. She said,"Well, Mr Lau, sometimes things happen. Its like..if you don't buy the lottery, you won't strike it." Those words sealed my cosmic fate then....damn saleswoman. Look, I have insurance for every damn thing from the day I landed in this country. Problem is, my insurance doesn't cover stuffs outside my hostel. So...cool!

And talking to DinoDude (my British friend) today, I was explaining that we bloody Malaysians like to buy lottery everytime something shitty happens. Like associating car number plates to the 4D lottery. So, I went out and bought me a couple of Lotto tickets. Tonight, I will be £2.8 million richer. I mean...I can't possibly have such bad luck 2 days in a row, right? Guaranteed to strike!

Oh, and finally, a telepathic message to the leech who stole my stuffs :

May the virus from my computer infect you and infest your bowels with the vomit of a 1000 obese skunks till the fleas eat away at your lungs so you can't breathe and eventually resemble a dried out sea slug when you die, you contemptuous misogynic mongrel.

Labels:


Ramblings:
that totally sucks. i feel ur for ur loss.
 



Oh dear, sorry to hear about that. I hope you've filed a police report, and that the culprit gets his just desserts.
 



i hope the bastard gets syphillis...
 



u serious ar? thats gotta suck... so how are u posting this btw?
 



Basket was probably a notts county fan. hope the fucker gets townie gonnorhea.
 



I secretly dream of being the next person to catch a snatch thief, or a pickpocket, or a robber.. Then I would break both his kneecaps, slit his archilles tendon, break both his arms, and stick him up by his asshole on the 1 foot spikes on my gate.. Ill tie him down with rafia strings and keep him alive via IV fluids.. ill spray him with my garden hose to keep him alive as long as possible, until the crows come to peck his eyeballs off..
 



metalrage: yeah...it sucks, but shit happens

yuenli : cops came over just 15 mins after i called them...quite efficient! nothing they can do though

tilia : syphillis is too mild for him

keng : its past april fools day already. no more such jokes. haha.

lyn : its a pikey yob.

uhmir : u are scary. i like u.

 



can never be to sure mar.. =P
 



Crap. What a bad day.
Well, no use regretting. That fucker will prolly be enjoying your stuffs and you won't be able to do anything about it

 



Sorry to hear that Vince.... if happened that you need to buy a "D" brand notebook, I would glady help to get you a good staff price... but it will only ship within Malaysia.
 



Hahahaha

What a crap weekend. First your stuff gets stolen, then ManUre get humbled by lowly Naaarwich.

See what happens when you hate the most succesful team in England? =)

Cheers to finishing a miserable, trophyless third this season. :D

 



how big is the window? and if its big enough for a person to climb in, or big enough or near enough to the door for him to open it, why wasn't it closed in the first place? rofl. teh stupidity!

there's always 2 sides to a story.. the rabbid bitch who stole your stuff, and the stupid bitch who left the window open..bwahahahahaha.. you should pound them both, only fair that way.

 



stevie : last I recall, manyoo kicked liverpool's ass twice this season

avaxis : its an old fashioned window about 8 feet off the ground and its a gap of about 1 foot high. its easier to throw a brick through it than to climb through it.

 



Post a Comment

<< Home