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Tuesday, May 31, 2005

job advertisement

Dear Miss Catherine Lee,

It is with great pleasure that I write to you on this day to announce a vacant post within my company. Due to the resignation of a previous employee some 3 months ago, I have done some intensive background research and headhunting. After reviewing potential candidates, I am glad to inform you that you were selected as one of the twenty people deemed suitable for the job on offer. Hence, I would like to formally invite you to apply for this available job.

This job shall initially carry the title of 'Girlfriend' within the company. The job opportunities within the company could be potentially fulfilling. In due course, and subject to future performances, the candidate could be promoted to the post of 'Best-friend' within a few months. With further success, it would then be possible to climb the corporate ladder quickly enough and be granted Life Partnership within the firm in just a few years.

Of course, such a job demands a high level of technical responsibility from the employee. I have managed to acquire important details of each potential candidate, but I would further scruntinise all applicants before making the final decision.

It would be important to note, that as a progressive company that prides itself on excellence, I have a 'non-competetive' application process. This means that the candidates would not have to compete with each other for the post, but would compete with the excellence standard set by the company. This means that it would be possible for more than one applicant to be hired for the job, as long as they all fit the excellence criteria. It would also mean that if there are no candidates deemed suitable, the company would then reject all applications, and keep your contact for future reference (for example : in the event of a repeat of The Great Depression).

Applicants should send their CV along with two suitable A3 sized pictures (preferably one studio picture and one taken first thing in the morning following a late night booze party) and a cover letter with the heading of "Application for position of Girlfriend (Ref A372-Q) to :

Mr. Vincent Lau
Email address : bitchinglog@hotmail.com

For further queries, please email the same address with the title heading of "Queries". If you require additional information about my company, please visit my website at http://vbglau.blogspot.com

Thank you.

Regards,
Vincent Lau
(Chief Executive Officer)



Dear Mr Lau,

With regards to your job advertisement, please fuck off and die.

Regards,
Katherine Lee
(Freelance agent)

p/s : You spelt my name wrong, dolt.




Oops.

Labels:


Ramblings:
That's how you asked her to be your girlfriend?!

*aduh*

 



maggie, dont believe everything you read on this blog ok. on the other hand...don't fully disbelieve everything. just remember that I am not stupid, ok?
 



not stupid? really ar??? haha

good one, dude. I remember I wrote one a long time ago (before blogs even existed) just for fun, but its not as long as yours. hehe.

her reply was just great too. :)

 



The UK requires that employers do not discriminate by sex. Does that mean you're willing to consider guys to fill the vacancy*? ;)

*No, I'm not looking to apply. ;)

 



eyeris : Yeah, seen many of these kinda stuffs before, so I thought I should write my own.

yuenli : My company. I make the rules.

 



Oh yeah...just remembered..

Maggie : You are mistaken. I was not the one applying for the job. That was an invitation for HER to apply.

 



Heheh... good one dude, I had a good laugh. You have potential to become a good people manager.
 



What?? I dont get an invitation to apply as well?? Damn it.. You ruined my day.. Haha...
 



Haha if you weren't so sarcastic most of the time, you'll probably be attached by now.
 



KK : potential?? No, no. I already am.

tilia : You want an invitation too?

gavin : Attached? To what? You want people to kill themselves ar?

 



wah, I should congratulate every Catherine Lee(s) i know.... ;)
 



lyn : you spelt her name wrong....just like I did...hahaha
 



hahahahah good one
 



Cute invitation! Everyone I know would have said no, though :)). And it's not about the name thingie, it's all because the multiple GF positions within your company.
 



hi hi i juz came across ur blog while searching for some info ...erm it quite impressive...But izzt true ma...abt dis company exist cuz u r sayin dun belive everythink u see but on e other hand dun dis believe
 



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