Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Dear Miss Catherine Lee, Labels: jokes
It is with great pleasure that I write to you on this day to announce a vacant post within my company. Due to the resignation of a previous employee some 3 months ago, I have done some intensive background research and headhunting. After reviewing potential candidates, I am glad to inform you that you were selected as one of the twenty people deemed suitable for the job on offer. Hence, I would like to formally invite you to apply for this available job.
This job shall initially carry the title of 'Girlfriend' within the company. The job opportunities within the company could be potentially fulfilling. In due course, and subject to future performances, the candidate could be promoted to the post of 'Best-friend' within a few months. With further success, it would then be possible to climb the corporate ladder quickly enough and be granted Life Partnership within the firm in just a few years.
Of course, such a job demands a high level of technical responsibility from the employee. I have managed to acquire important details of each potential candidate, but I would further scruntinise all applicants before making the final decision.
It would be important to note, that as a progressive company that prides itself on excellence, I have a 'non-competetive' application process. This means that the candidates would not have to compete with each other for the post, but would compete with the excellence standard set by the company. This means that it would be possible for more than one applicant to be hired for the job, as long as they all fit the excellence criteria. It would also mean that if there are no candidates deemed suitable, the company would then reject all applications, and keep your contact for future reference (for example : in the event of a repeat of The Great Depression).
Applicants should send their CV along with two suitable A3 sized pictures (preferably one studio picture and one taken first thing in the morning following a late night booze party) and a cover letter with the heading of "Application for position of Girlfriend (Ref A372-Q) to :
Mr. Vincent Lau
Email address : firstname.lastname@example.org
For further queries, please email the same address with the title heading of "Queries". If you require additional information about my company, please visit my website at http://vbglau.blogspot.com
(Chief Executive Officer)
Dear Mr Lau,
With regards to your job advertisement, please fuck off and die.
p/s : You spelt my name wrong, dolt.
good one, dude. I remember I wrote one a long time ago (before blogs even existed) just for fun, but its not as long as yours. hehe.
her reply was just great too. :)
*No, I'm not looking to apply. ;)
yuenli : My company. I make the rules.
Maggie : You are mistaken. I was not the one applying for the job. That was an invitation for HER to apply.
tilia : You want an invitation too?
gavin : Attached? To what? You want people to kill themselves ar?