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Friday, May 13, 2005

vincent's lessons in life #4

When I started the 'Vincent's Lessons in Life' series, it was to help people get out of tight situations when they do not know how they should act, or what they should say. You can read all the old ones here : #1,#2, #3 . The theme has not changed, and this is another situation that a lot of guys face but do not know how to handle.



You know, these women....they like to ask questions, and then when you answer them, they get pissed. One of the most fucked up questions they ask is : "Do you think she is prettier than me?"

Scenario 1

Girlfriend : Do you think she's prettier than me?
Vincent : No
Girlfriend : Really meh? I think she's really very pretty. Don't lie to me...
Vincent : Really. I think you are prettier.
Girlfriend : I know myself ok...I think she is prettier..stop lying to me.

*apparently, answering NO makes you a liar....not a good idea*


Scenario 2

Girlfriend : Do you think she's prettier than me?
Vincent : Yes
Girlfriend : Why don't you go marry her then...since I am not pretty enough for you.
Vincent : Dear, that's not what I said.
Girlfriend : Don't want to talk to you anymore. Not pretty enough for a shallow bastard like you.

*apparently, answering YES makes you a shallow bastard*


Scenario 3

Girlfriend : Do you think she's prettier than me?
Vincent : Dear, we can't compare things like that. Every woman is beautiful.
Girlfriend : What the fuck!?!? Don't try to dodge my question.
Vincent : No, dear. Really. You are prettier in a different way.
Girlfriend : What different way? I am not pretty enough, just say so la. Spineless goat.

*apparently, answering with an 'on the fence' answer makes you a coward*


Scenario 4

Girlfriend : Do you think she's prettier than me?
Vincent : You know, sayang, if you were to ask your mum whether she thinks you are pretty, she will look you in the eye and tell you that you are the most beautiful child in the world. Same thing here, sayang, I think you are the most beautiful girlfriend a guy could ever hope for.
Girlfriend : Awwwwww...

*that night, you shall receive the most mind-blasting blowjob of your life*





Author's Note : Please keep in mind that 'pretty' and 'beautiful' have very different meanings. Vincent shall not be held morally responsible if you try this at home but fail to pull it off because you said it wrongly. He also disclaims responsibility if your girlfriend is an avid reader of this blog and punches you in the dick for blatant plaglarism. This community service message was brought to you by Vincent, author of the critically acclaimed 'B*tchingLOG...not a weBLOG'

Labels:


Ramblings:
Well said!!
 



Haha...wait till you try it on your girlfriend and then you tell me how things work out okay??
 



sugi : which part?

meigie : No need. It works.

 



Yeah, great plan! But what if she asks if she's smarter than another girl, how do you solve that one?
And I'm curious: was thee a reason for here question, like you couldn't get your eyes off that other girl?

 



kayla : That's the problem with women. After I solve the 'pretty' problem...there's always smart, fat, sexy, funny....it makes lives of us blokes very difficult. I hope you don't torture your dude the same way. ;)
 



So in other words she's actually asking for a compliment from you and not really wanting to know if the other girl is prettier than her.
Complicated.

 



gal: she prettier than me or not?
me: yes
gal: y dun u kejar her, blah blah blah
me: okay
*goes n kejar that gal* :P

 



I don't like this question actually . Even I have a girlfriend I will just say "yes" or "no" . But....it's easier said than done :S .
 



gavin : No dude, its not complicated. Its exactly as you said it. Fishing for compliments, thats all.

waterjunk : Thats a good way of getting a slap in the face

yungjie : Of course you don't like it. Which guy likes whispering nonsensical crap into an insecure person's ear? Somethings however, have to be done...hahhaha :P

 



Well really, let's face it. Everyone only hears what they want to hear. Nobody will ever accept people who disagree with them, let alone the truth so long as it contradicts them. The truth does not matter, AT ALL. So unless you wish to encourage hostility, only give em what they want to hear.
 



That's why you need to answer SMART but not answer FAST. ;) If you quickly answer "Yes" or "No", you will sure die in her hands already. ;p
 



I've always wondered.. Why can't the fairer gender just quit asking such stupid questions.. Why play all those compliment fishing games, or test your guy with stupid ladymag bullcrap.. If you mean the world to him, he'll compliment you, regardless of whether you look like the old rusted pipe at the back of my house, or if you have the IQ of a pigeon.. And if you really want to know whether you're pretty compared to someone else, just ask him what his definition of pretty is.. See if you fit the description..
 



man, people are complicated.....
 



anonymous : That is why, NEVER ask a question if you think you won't like the answer.

hliew : Unfortunately, most people cant think SMART at the instance. Unless, they are me of course..huhuhu

uhmir : That's why, in this circumstances, if unsure, they should ALWAYS consult a mirror coz a mirror doesn't lie. Hello?...The even teach kids that in Snow White and the 7 dwarves

lyn : Man? No...woman complicated. Hahaha.

 



well, i hate to admit it. but yes, women are mostly like that. the insecurity is not to be blamed. the needs to be comforted is always there. the same to guys with their wanting to be supported (you're the best, you can do this, i'm proud of you even you lost your way and dont ask anyone, etc etc). that's just the gene. accept it.

btw, love your blog.

 



ebb : Haha. That's where you are wrong. Only some guys need comforting. Other blokes, like me, would readily praise themselves. Its called an ego. That too, is in-born. Hahahahaah......
 



Oh wait...you mean you already have a girlfriend?? Why didn't you inform us??
 



meigie : I didnt say that.
 



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