Monday, May 09, 2005

yankee doodle

Weird buggers, those Americans.

Firstly, they are the world's foremost superpower. It seems they have it all. They have a fearsome military and a mighty economy. In terms of technological advances, probably only Japan would be able to compete with them. Then, they have those buggers called NASA. I kid you not, if there is a dream job for me, it would be with those buggers. Now, you don't exactly get to a position they are in by being a nation of dumbasses. No, surely that country is full of smart alecs.

Unfortunately, that is not the case. Its been well documented and very well known that those yankee friends of ours are quite thick in the head. Stupid, in other words. I mean, just look at their leader. His face is the epitome of all things stupid. Clearly, something doesn't add up. How does a nation of supposedly dumb people get to be so advanced and be the best at almost everything they do?

Stupid is the wrong word. The word you are looking for is 'ignorant'. In my time here, I have had the opportunity of working and talking to many people of many different nationalities. No prizes, for guessing then, that number 1 on the Ignorant List are the Americans. It might also be interesting to know that number 2 are our friends Down South.

My conclusions are not without merit. In my first year here, I met what surely must be the stupidest and most ignorant (the word 'stupid' DOES apply here) person in my whole life. Oh yeah, he was a Californian. If I were to tell you of his exploits, it would stretch for pages long, so I will save those stories for another day. There was also this American girl I knew who thought a praying mantis was a type of squirrel.

Well, a few days ago I met another of those weird specimens. The following is a conversation I had on the bus with this American girl in one of my classes doing a coursework with me. And since I can't think of a nice name, let's call her Bola :

Vincent : How was your holidays?

Bola : *bimbo voice* It was soooo coooool............how about yours?

Vincent : Was good..I went to Amsterdam.

Bola : Oooh...nice nice. Wait...Amsterdam is in Holland isn't it?

Vincent : Yes.

Bola : What about Netherlands? Is that in Holland as well? I never knew..

(I can't afford to be rude to her)

Vincent : No, Netherlands and Holland are the same thing.

Bola : Oooh. What's 'Dutch', then?

Vincent : People from Holland are called Dutch people.

Bola : Hmmm...I always thought that 'Dutch' was their language. So, what language do they speak? German?

(I am not fucking making this up. I nearly choked on my own saliva)

Vincent : No, they speak Dutch. Their language is called Dutch.

Bola : That's sooooo weird. Its so confusing.

Vincent : No its not. The English speak English. The Germans speak German. The Italians speak Italian....

Bola : Oh yeahhhhh....I didn't realise that. Wow!

(Again, I am not making this shit up. She actually said, "Wow!")

Couple of minutes later....

Bola : Have you had lunch yet?

Vincent : Nope. I am going to stop by the Union Shop to grab a sandwich.

Bola : Sandwiches in this country are expensive!

Vincent : Well, if you convert currency, they are. But to the locals, its about 2 quid for a meal. That's ok.

Bola : 2 pounds! That's like 4 dollars!

Vincent : Like I said, if you convert it, then it is expensive. If coverted to Malaysian dollars, that's like 14 bucks for a sandwich...

(I didn't waste my breath saying 'Ringgit' cause she sure as hell wouldn't have known what it was)

Bola : How much is 14 Malaysian dollars in US dollars?

(Now, I am officially pissed)

Vincent : Well, if you said that 2 pounds is 4 dollars, and I say that 2 pounds is 14 Malaysian bucks, then surely 14 Malaysian dollars is about 4USD??

Bola : *thinks a bit* No, surely you have to take into account the exchange rate?

Vincent : Yah....ok. That's right................

Weird buggers, those Americans. I still don't understand how they managed to be a world superpower.


let me take a guess, they become world superpower by sending dumbasses all over the world to annoy the hell out of all other non americans, the one you had a conversation with is just one of them.

gee... I din't know UK currency is so heavy. I don't think anyone can carry over 20 pounds on the street. I only use 9 pounds for my bowling.

Ok, me bad, I'll sit at the corner now. :P


andyjcw : Nope, that still doesn't make sense. The stupidest of them all is still in the country, sitting at the top post.

KK : 9 pounds only? You girl ar? Big macho dudes must use at least 10. I use 13...huhuhu...


Hahaa...that most stupid guy is now in RED Square ,having fun with his big time Pal...

i use a customized 11 pound. Light because I'm a spinner. Not a hooker.

We just love americans , they are plain wacky .

LOL. Your friend is totally whacked out. What drugs is she on?

mike : I don't spin or hook. I just throw the damn thing as hard as I can...hahah...therefore, the heavier the ball, the more chance of it knocking everything down.

yungjie : I love them too. Especially the monkey.

jon : I am guessing...a lifetime of too much hamburgers and fries


yeah, my american bf didnt know what the insert key on the keyboard was for.

tilia : And you are still shagging him? Hahaha... :P

Aliens. America is a superpower because they had alien help. How else can you explain the fact that they can send a man to the moon before the PC came out? You only need 2 million smart Americans in a country of 200 million, plus some friendly alien technology to become a superpower.

Well, I used to think Americans are quite stupid for a long time. I still think most of them are, but I have been privileged enough to find out that smart, interesting Americans do exist. Guess someone up there loves me...:)

Another thing - I didn't know what Ringgit was five months ago. But could you tell me the name of the Romanian currency without googling it?


viewtru : Those aliens are unfair. They should help me take over the Earth as well.

kayla : I KNOW IT...I KNOW IT...now....if only I can remember its name.


I believe you, don't worry! :)
It is "Leu"(singular)/"Lei"(plural) and it also means "Lion".


I think you've just the tendency of meeting the dumber ones.. I know quite a few highly knowlegable Americans, also highly critical of the monkey that runs their country.. weirdly enough, they all hail from the northern part of america, not the southern side.. Kinda the true Yanks I suppose, as opposed to the Confederates..

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