Monday, June 27, 2005

adolescent memories

I was looking through my friend's DVD collection just now since I was feeling kinda bored. Scanning through them, I became even more bored. The Recruit, Matrix, Matrix Reloaded, Bruce Almighty, My Fair Lady.....and out of nowhere, Sex and Zen 2. On DVD, no less!! 'Special widescreen edition' summore!

The name sounded familiar, a little too familiar for my own good. I flipped the cover and read the synopsis and a very very weird sensation hit me (no, not an orgasm). I watched this damn show before! Deja vu! The first porn I watched which had a damn story and this was it!

It's about this horny bugger who has an ambition of banging more women than any other guy in history. However, he is very strict with his daughter (to protect her from men like himself) and makes a damn cool chasity belt for her. If I recall right, there was a scene where he tested out te chasity belt when his daughter was wearing it. He put a broomstick through her erm, hole and some rotating blades smashed it to pieces.

Anyways, the daughter goes to an all male school disguised as a guy. I recall a scene where they had the wanking competition to see who could shoot further. There is also a guy with a mechanical dick. Predictably, she falls in love with one of the guys who is actually a professional swordsman chasing an evil woman who is out to acheive world sexual domination.

I didn't watch it again, but from my vague memory, it was a pretty funny Chinese porn flick which tries to incorporate kungfu sex. Oh, the evil bitch is played by the now famous Shu Qi. Go pick up a copy from your local pasar malam dude, it's a good watch.

Which reminds me......I watched that damn show when I was in Form 2. 12 years old ok! I was corrupted from young by my classmates. Having porn vcds back then was like having cigarettes (or a nice ass) in jail. Everybody wants to be your friend. Everybody wants to borrow it. Needless to say some dudes became very popular because of that. Hell, I made friend with this guy who was an absolute dick just because I wanted to borrow some porn from him.

We have to remember that in those days, the Internet was governed by a 28.8kbps dialup modem. Horny kids can't wait for stupid fake pictures of celebrities to load up can they? And downloading videos was certainly out of the question. So basically, if you could find a way to get hold of some porn VCDs, you were instantly a hero in school.

After a while, that hero worship begun to die off, because as we got older (but still underaged) we grew larger balls. And large balls was the pre-requisite to be able to go up to the AhBeng VCD seller in the pasar malam and ask, "Tai lo, leh yau mo ham tai?" (Dude, you got porn?) while receiving stares from everybody around. Only after you did that would you be recognised as a teenager and not a kid anymore....

to be continued.....

Tomorrow : Project Beli Ham Tai


That's a damn colourful history for a kid. A chastity belt with rotating blades? Eeeeeeewwwww!!!!!

Hahaha... can't wait for the sequel. :D

heheh... i never bought any ham tai before... if I would search my house around, I could have easily find some hidden drawer with some hidden VCDs/DVD/Magazines somewhere. Guess who does it belongs to? :)

dude, what's with that large padding below every of your latest post ?

viewtru : I had early education in some matters. :)

KK : I could never find those stuffs in my house.

Mike : I have no idea. It only happens for the first article, and I did nothing to my template. It got screwed up after I typed the PPS bash conspiracy thingy.


Dude, you were 12 when you were in Form 2?? What kind of child prodigy were you? ;)

*claps* Good description.. made me reminisce of *that* pre-requisite for graduation from childhood. Didn't know that anyone still kept those Chinese hamtai from that era (after some time, after lending from friend to friend... those would get lost...somewhere) BTW those Chinese hamtais really do have hilariously corny plots.

How about on your next installment, tell us about your first time buying condoms.


jean : The ultimate prodigy ;)

neoragex : Yups, it ALWAYS got lost. About the condoms, I have written about it before : http://vbglau.blogspot.com/2005/02/shoplifting.html


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