Friday, June 17, 2005


Ok children, here's a science lesson for the lot of you. What is symbiosis? Its a simple concept, really. You have something I want. I have something you want. We help each other and everybody goes home happy. It is an interaction between two creatures which might be of different species and have nothing in common except fulfilling their objectives.

Like, take for example a fat and dirty water buffalo lying in a mud pond somewhere. A bird comes along, lands on his back and starts eating insects and ticks off his back. See how they help each other? The buffalo gets rid of parasites and the bird gets a free meal.

Not impressive enough? "I read blogs for entertainment, Vincent! I don't need you to give me a high school science lesson!" I am getting to my point. Here, let me give you another example...

A crocodile in a murky swarm somewhere lies around lazily by the river bank. His mouth (or snout, or whatever it's called) is wide open and there is a bird that just voluntarily flew into it. He could just snap his mouth close and get a free meal. But he doesn't. The said bird, with obvious balls of steel then proceeds to eat some random bits of remnants stuck in the crocodile's teeth. He gets a free meal, and the crocodile gets a free dental treatment.

Still not impressed with symbiosis?? Ok....here's the best example I can think off.

Somewhere in a huge metropolitan city, there is a Starbucks cafe. A stunningly beautiful young lady is sitting there dressed in the finest Gucci tapping her Jimmy Choo's impatiently on the marble floor. Next to her is her Prada handbag, and in it are keys to a spanking new Mercedes SLK. As she consults her Rolex for the time, an elderly gentleman, elegantly dressed as well, old enough to be her father walks up to her apologising for the delay........and plants a sloppy wet kiss on her lucious red lips. She starts giggling like a little girl paying deep attention while he plays with her hair and whispers silly jokes into her ears.................

See children....in all the examples above, everybody fulfils the objectives that they set out to achieve. Everybody goes home happy. So, if nobody bothers what the birds do with the buffalo and crocodile, how come everybody complains about the last one?

*Oh.....did anybody catch the metaphors in the first two examples? I just realised it myself too...


yes i got it. excellent post, man.

Lol. Good one. Now why didn't our teachers teach us symbiosis like this?? Hehe.

Because, in our society, such symbiosis is very much 'frowned upon'.

Metaphors? Well, the buaya and the bird, I get. The water buffalo, or sui ngau, is not too obvious. Unless water buffalo and water fish(sui yee) are the same

It was described as a fat, dirty water buffalo. In a lot of cases, that is the case where the old guy is disgusting to look at.

In my opinion, the third one is not socially acceptable because it is not equal-opportunity.

In the first two examples, ANY birds of the relevant species could have filled the role of "servicer", while any buffalo/croc could have played the part of "servicee".

In contrast, only beautiful young ladies are likely to be acceptable as servicers to rich dirty old men servicees. And said nubile pretty women are unlikely to be willing to service poor old men (for instance).

And from a personal perspective, who cares what birds and buffaloes and crocodiles do? All that concerns me is the gross unfairness of my situation: beautiful young women just don't wanna layan me. ;)



yuenli : Not true. Not all species of birds are allowed in a crocodile's mouth. Try putting a chicken in it and see what happens. Same thing here. Dirty old men classify women into two sub-species. The only sub-species they allow are the 'beautiful young ones'.

Please note that I wrote "RELEVANT species", thereby excluding chickens. ALL birds of these species are allowed the same service privileges by the servicers, no matter how fat or thin or big or small. Similarly, all humans belong to the same species, but do not receive equal servicer/servicee opportunities. ;)

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