Tuesday, September 06, 2005

the great review, part 2

Part 1

A view of my shopping cart yesterday :

Go on, squint your eyes..

The story behind it all...

A few weeks ago I went grocery shopping with Kay and Morpheus. It was a major stockup and we spent a total of 100 pounds. Back at Kay's place where we were busy sorting out the stuffs and hanging out, I fished out a couple of packets of "women's products" from one of the plastic bags.

Like Curious George, I picked up the packets and started reading the product description on the box. Being typically Vincent, I had loads of questions but nobody to humour me with the answers. Morpheus tried to guess a few answers, but he's a guy, and what the hell would we know? As for Kay, she ignored every single question I had.

When I asked for a sample to appease my curiosity, she said that she would give me one on the condition that I stuck it up my nether regions. Of course, that was never going to happen, and I went home curious as ever. You see, I am a scientist, and it bugs me to heaven's end when I can't get answers I crave for.

Then, I got the fantastic idea to actually go out and purchase some of those stuffs and conduct my own experiments in the name of science. So, over the next few parts, I will disect these said items and (attempt to) understand how they are used and spread the knowledge to all the other guys who are just as clueless.

Buying the damn thing...

A wide range of products

For starters, I didn't know what I was looking for. Tampons, I knew. Pads, I knew. But I had no idea what they looked like, and I picked the wrong time to visit the supermarket. It was lunch time and a lot of office workers had packed into the place. There were loads of people waltzing up and down that aisle and I had no reason to be there.

But of course, when you don't know what you are looking for, you either look harder or ask. I sucked in my guts and went up to the lovely lady standing there. I spewed out my well-rehearsed excuse. That's also because she looked quite hot and because I wanted to capture people's reaction on photo for this article.

"Excuse me," I say, in my most professional voice. "I run this comedy website, and I am working on an article."


"Yeah, and for this, I am going to do a product review on tampons and sanitary pads.........from a guy's point of view."

She looked at me, laughed in my face, and walked away.

Nice try, Vincent. I guess I'll have to make do without the photo then.

After figuring that the pads would probably be in bulky bags, I survey that section :

Spoilt for choice..

Being clueless, I decide to get a pack of those black Kotex packs because they looked nice and because I hear Kotex is famous. It turned out to be a mistake (I will tell you why in the actual review). I didn't choose the other brand because the picture of the woman sitting cross legged kinda disturbed me. Pink and orange packets were also a turn off. Besides, I still think Kotex is a damn cool name (reminds me of Kotek - something that I am quite very familiar with).

On to the tampons then....

Someone's into monopolising the market, eh?

The only other brand on the shelf was the Sainsbury's brand, which to be honest doesn't quite look like something I want to be putting inside me (if I were a woman). Here, the dilemma wasn't about the brand. There were damn many types - mini, regular, super, and super plus. There was also a multipack option, but since I didn't see myself menstruating anytime soon, I opted for the smallest "regular" type pack.

I contemplated on the Tampax Compak pack because the name sounded funky. However, I wasn't in the mood to fork out more money for something I was clueless about. There were also the 'applicator' and 'non-applicator' types, but I was in a kiasu mood, so I wanted applicator one even though I didn't know what it was.

After I left the checkout counter, I swear I heard that punk kid laughing behind my back with the old lady. Ah well, it's not the first time I embarassed myself and certainly won't be the last. The things I do to satisfy my curiousity.....

Up next : The Tampax review & a damn whacky experiment...

(this is gonna be a many many part series, so it will be interupted off and on as I lump it together with my normal blogging articles)

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Lu gila lar woi. The things you do for the blog. haha

wah lau eh...what kind of experiment?

Things like this oso funny ar?!

*whacks Vincent's head with a blood-soaked Kotex*


Aiks. I also did that once. But it was just window shopping with my then gf. But the girls i know, some are uncomfortable about using tampons. Something about not liking "foreign objects" in there.

KK takes of his hat and gives a big bow and solutes for Vincent's guts.

Applicator and non-Applicator?

for a few seconds I'm wondering, somehow my common-sense tells me it is referring to the some kind of double-sided tape that supposed to hold the thing firmly on the bottom of panties... or shall I say... Vincent's underwear?

Please tell me my common-sense is correct



Did you try it on ? I am sure it makes you feel...feminine . XD

Dammit. I guessed quite closely on msn bah. I guessed bra, make-up and WAITAMINUTE! DIDN'T I GUESS PAD???? Humph. Evil. Come back we're gonna strip you and force you try the tampon. Wahahahaha!

eyeris : Nola. Its things I would do to LEARN. Hahahah

chris : Wait and see la.

maggie : Yups, pretty hilarious.

beerbrat : That's not counted. She bought it, not you.

KK : Ah. I can tell that you desperately need to read the review. Tampons are not things you put on your panties la!

yungjie : You think I sot ar?

raksha : You also guess condoms and lingerie


tat's the way to go, for us men..

i kinda like, don't know what to make out of all these. LOL

stumbled on ur b.log ystday, great reads!! looking forward to the "great science experiment"! thanks for the distraction! :)

man, I had a gut feeling it was a TAMPON!!!

hurry, hurry UPDATE!!


Oh, my mistake. I tot you were referring the pad, not to Tampoon.



kotex is the pwn. other brands just cissy. take it from a chick

kim: no i still like whisper with wings, ultra thin.

VINCE can buy me tampax with the plastic applicators when you get back? thank you very much.


That would be a sight to see at the airport if they decide to check his luggages :)

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