Thursday, September 08, 2005

the great review, part 3

Part 1
Part 2

The Tampax Review...

It actually looks like a bar of soap to me. There is a picture of a handbag there with words that say 'Handbag-Resistant Wrapper'. Now, I've heard of water resistant and shock resistant stuffs, but I have no idea what 'handbag resistant' means. I never knew of the corrosive properties of a female handbag (probably because I never cared to look).

Expiry date??
Lesson of the day (won't be the first, though) : Tampons have expiry dates. I am sorry, I have spent the last few days trying to figure out why, but to no avail. Maybe you could tell me why a piece of cotton expires...

It opens up revealing smaller packets containing our desired material. The arrangement reminds me of a pack of ciggarettes.

Anyone care for a fag?

Stuffed in between a couple of packets, I fish out a folded (and very crumpled) information leaflet. This has surely got to rank as one of the most educational piece of literature that I have read in recent times. It has the basic product specifications as well as a 'parts list' in case some little 12 year old girl gets confused. It also contains a pictorial step-by-step guide on how to use it (because this is a review for guys, and seeing as to we don't have the necessary organs for the process, I shall skip that part). It also has an FAQ section (Do I have to remove my tampon when I go to the loo? No, tampons are worn in the vagina, which is seperate from the urinary opening and the anal opening) and information on Toxic Shock Syndrome which doesn't really interest me for obvious reasons...

Nice diagrams

Now, this is the part where I tell everybody how confused I actually was. I thought tampons were small little objects about an inch long or so. But here was this....thing..staring back at me with all of its 13 centimeters.

I tear open the packet...

What's going on here?!!?!? I thought a tampon was a stick of cotton of sorts? And here was a piece of waxed paper cardboard tube with a string sticking out at the end. I cannot begin to explain my bewilderment.

Soon, I fiddle around with it, and it turns out that the smaller left tube fits into the larger right tube and you can seperate them (although you're not actually meant to do that).

There is a small opening at the rounded end. I put the left tube back and push it through, just like you would push those old manual balloon pumps. The left tube then forces the tampon (which is nicely tucked in the right tube) through the small opening at the end.

Looks more like a stick of dynamite now actually

A close up view of the end as the tampon comes through:

I could think of a million jokes about this....but decided to give you that honour

And that was when I figured out the difference between the applicator and non-applicator types. I think, and I emphasise that 'THINK' part when I say that the white tubes you saw just now are the 'applicators'. That is actually quite handy, I would imagine, as opposed to the non-applicator types where you have to stick your finger in. But anyway, after all that is done, we are left with the final product, the elusive tampon.

Reminds you of anything?

It looks like a sperm. Ironic, if you consider the purpose of a tampon in the first place.

Up next : The Tampax Experiment & Kotek Pad Review (depending on my mood)

On this topic...before I forget :

Why is an arrogant woman like a tampon?
They're both stuck up cunts.

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Well, perhaps you already knew it but just in case...

Tampon is not just a piece of cotton. Chemicals were used in the production and i guess anything with chemical substance has an expiry date.


u're nuts. tampon won't do much for the bunghole tho. :P

For the benefit of everyone here, tampons do come in different levels of absorbance. It is advised that if you are just starting out, do try the lesser absorbing types because the stronger absorbance types can cause slight dehydration. And that in turn, give you a fucking migraine. And that in turn explains why i say this advice is for everyone, including guys. PMS turns girls into monsters. And if it comes with a migraine, all hell will break loose.

Come to think of it, why the fuck is everyone into the PMS blogging thing these days? :P


Cause they guys suddenly feel a need to understand their other part's "Hyde" personality that surfaces every month?

And the women need to build up a supply of "reasons" for defences in case the "incredible sulk" within breaks free and out of control?

J/K!! No offence to the ladies!! and the gents ... just kidding just kidding!


dude!u already give me a big help.hahaha..my bf keep asking me what is wing pads,why there is slim,regular and a bunch of questions everytime we pass by a rack of women's stuff..so,keep review on everything and i'll just let him read ur's...*wink*..keep bitching dude!!!

Dude , do you feel feminine yet XD? Why not review the other tampon ? You know...like Kotex or some sort of wearing together with girls' panties .

ah... the lessons learnt is much more interesting than rocket science...

come to think about it, the applicator looks like some space shuttle technology... When it enter into the "space", the support got seperated and the main part goes into the "space".



I can't wait for the capacity loading experiment result.

Are you going to cut yourself and let this piece of sperm-shaped-vampire to suck it dry for you? X-)


hahah ... funny shit

Me and a bunch of friends did an experiment on how much these tampons can absorb...heehee...poured water and all..the boys were amused

You guys gonna love my experiments man..


LOL!!!!Can't wait for part 4 =3

never used a tampon so i wont comment


take the tampon cotton and put into a cup of water. Then you can estimate how much of the liquids the cotton can absorb.

However, most young girls are advised by the older women not to use it until they are married. I wonder why? Dont see any harm in that.

Toxic Shock Syndrome is when the tampon is left too long inside the woman's body, causing toxic in the body (if I remember rightly!!) and that is also part of the reason why there is the fear of using it. Women can die due to that.
Pads are always a safer alternative, although more cumbersome. Besides, tampons can drip....

*imagine walking around with something dripping blood around*

Pretty gory, in my opinion.


maybe it'll soak up any excrement from the bungh0le if you tried it...

you should get this printed in that bloody expensive NatGeo Mag or Popular Science.


what a review ! lolz. education ?

I'm outraged! How come nobody laughed at my joke one?!?

Lol Vincent...THEN I SHALL BE THE FIRST...LOL nice joke vincent =D

haha, laughed at ur joke! and i think u're prolly the 1st guy i know hu's not embarassed and curious bout this thing! good on u!! and i tot KOTEX was the top brand? hmmmm..update update~~!! =)

so who's blood ur using for this experiment?

yungjie, my lipstick is as red as the blood..


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