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Wednesday, November 30, 2005

brainwave

Contrary to popular belief, I have been keeping quite busy these days. No, I haven't been sitting in front of the computer or the TV all day. In fact, I was looking at the front page of this blog earlier and I scrolled down to click on the site counter. The last 5 articles were shorter than the sidebar...something that has NEVER happened on this blog before. (In case you are a little slow in the head, short articles mean that I don't have the time to blog long assed articles)

Anyhows, I have been working part time making some money and putting my now rusty engineering skills to use while applying for jobs at the same time. Its been a good one month since I got back, and a good two weeks since I sent out my first batch of applications. Boy, time does fly. Now, being 'umemployed' means that you keep thinking of ways to make money.

***
Sidenote, since it just popped into my head. Can somebody fucking humour me...why the FUCK do some employers want to know your blinking SPM results even though you already have a pre-u, a diploma, a degree and a masters? What's the blinking relevance of SPM after all that?
***

Anyway, back to where I was...I had a bloody good idea last night. The thing with awesome ideas is that they come pouring in once you open the floodgates. I was so excited about it that I stayed up until 3am writing down all my ideas even though I had to go to work at 8 o'clock this morning. Of course, with businesses, nothing is certain but by my rough calculations I COULD easily make my first million before I turn 24.

I slept over the idea and when morning came, realisation hit. I pondered over the idea again while on the Great Throne and again over breakfast. Too many what if's. Too many uncertainties. Too many variables. With the spoon in my hand I kept thinking about my 'great idea' when Tony the Tiger popped out from the box of Frosties in front of me. He seemed to growl, "An idea will remain an idea until you put it to work."

So, great, I thought. It would be cool, no? I'll be one of them young entrepreneurs. The next Richard Branson maybe. I am jobless, no? My idea doesn't require much capital to start with..just a couple of thousand bucks, nothing 21 years worth of Chinese New Year angpows can't cover. I'll start doing some research once I get back from work, I thought.

And then, after breakfast, I took a shower and started thinking again. What if nobody wants to buy my idea? What if I go about doing my project half way and somebody offers me a job? What if the business goes well for a while and I pour in more money.....and suddenly lose everything? And after that, who wants to employ an engineer who hasn't been doing anything related since he graduated?

What if all this is just as waste of time? What if subconciously I am being lazy and just don't want to really start working? And more importantly, from now till the time the project goes ahead, where do I get money from? Sticking out my hand and asking my parents for money is something I have stopped doing since I started my part time job. I do not intend to start again.

As I picked up my razor and started squeezing out shaving foam onto my hand, I remembered an advice I heard, "You are young. If you fall, you can pick yourself up." Should I go for it? Or should I dismiss it as a daydream...a mere fantasy?

Decisions. Decisions used to be simple. What should I have for dinner? What movie should I take her to watch? Somehow, they don't seem that simple anymore. A wrong decision now doesn't just cause an upset stomach or a boring date. A wrong decision these days mean I would have to wonder where my next paycheck comes from.

I stare at the mirror and start shaving away. The reflection stares back at me. He seems to be saying, "Welcome to the real world, Vincent."

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Tuesday, November 29, 2005

advertisement

You know how there are no proper football blogs around?

Sick of all those monkeys who copy and paste Soccernet's articles and give their two line half baked opinion on something?

Tired of biased views from a Liverpool fan slagging off Manyoo?

Fear not.......

Eyeris, Tigerjoe and Vincent are proud to present the Petaling Street Hooligans!

Since I am lazy to tell you what we blog about that makes us different, go on there and read Eyeris' introductory post.

Eyeris is a Liverpool fan, Tigerjoe is a Chelsea dude and I am a Manyoo supporter. All that lacks is an Arse. We are running auditions to find a suitable Arse who can babble about HIS team. Drop a comment on the blog and let us know if you are interested.

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Monday, November 28, 2005

thanks, but no thanks

I don't like asking people for favours. It is as simple as that. I hardly ever find the need to do such things. If I want something done, I do it myself. You can misconstrue it is an ego problem, or plain arrogance but I think I would be better off depending on myself.

When I started this blog, I did this template myself. Boy it is ugly, but to me, it is the most beautiful template I will ever see. I taught myself HTML. And after that, I fixed the bugs in the template all by myself even though a couple of my friends offered to help. I think that I can come up with a better looking template if I wanted to, but I decided to keep this to remind myself of my character.

So no, I prefer not to get people's help. A lot of my friends, upon hearing that I have returned home have suggested, "Ah, you should have no problems with jobs....just ask your sister or your dad to recommend...sure they got contacts one.."

Well, fuck off.

Of course they do. My sister has her own engineering firm. Contacts aplenty. My dad has been working in the top level of an MNC for ages. Of course he has friends. But that also means that one day......should I be a 'somebody', I will not have the privillege of saying that I did it all on my own. That would mean that I would have to keep wondering whether I got there because I am good or because I have good connections.

So no, I will not ask that they use their 'power' to get me a job, nor would they ever offer me such a proposal.

So thanks for suggesting, you nosey wart, but no thanks.

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Friday, November 25, 2005

brilliant deduction

A cop wearing a tudung does nasty things. --->Equation A
These nasty things were done to a Chinese girl. ---> Equation B

As there are many geniuses around, they had easily deduced from Equation A and B that :

1) Because the nasty things were done by a cop, all cops are evil.
2) And because the evil cop was wearing a tudung, all tudung wearers are evil.
3) And because the victim was Chinese, all Chinese are vulnerable.
4) And because the politicians failed to do anything, all the politicians are evil.
5) And because this all happened in Malaysia, Malaysia is evil.
6) And because Malaysia is evil, you are all ashamed of your country.

And from all of the above, I can also deduce that you are all morons.

Condemnation of a despicable act is appropriate. But when you condemnation goes out of the scope, when you shoot your way through everything, you end up looking like a real ass. Here's the juice:

Cop humiliates woman.

It's as simple as that. Crucify the cop that did that. Why bring in race, religion, politicians and even your goddamn country into question?Why does it have to be:

Cop wearing tudung humiliates Chinese woman, politicians to be blamed, a nation grives.

Quite the drama queen, are we now? How is it that an act like that from a sicko make Malaysia a sucky country? There are too many unhappy souls around. Why, why do you hate your country so much that an act by a cop equates to a problem with the whole country? If it pleases you take a swipe at the police force (and maybe rightly so), but tell me, what did Malaysia do to you that she deserves to be condemned over an act that she played no part of?

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Wednesday, November 23, 2005

i dunno..

I can't defend the indefensible. As much as I want to, I can't.

As much as I want to justify it, I can't. It's just wrong, the whole lot of it.

But I can say this much....

Have faith. If enough of you are sincere, if enough of you WANT to change your country, it will happen. You can't teach old dogs new tricks. You can't change people's way of life in an instant.

If you complain about corruption, and I have said it before, it is a direct result of human greed. Greed exists in every society. If corruption is a culture within organisations, the only thing you can do is wait one whole generation and hope that the new blood was instilled with enough moral conscience in school.

Things like this don't change overnight. You can't just swoop in and get rid of the crooks with a snap of your fingers. How do you run an organisation where 19 out of the 20 people are corrupted? How do you get rid and replace them in an instant? I don't know. I don't think you do. I don't think anybody knows.

And so, all we can do is change ourselves. Change our young. If you really HAVE TO bribe a cop, don't do it in front of your kid, as hypocritical as it might sound. Nothing helps when you keep saying that the system dissapoints you. Yes, it might dissapoint you, but with that attitude, nothing changes. Nothing ever will.

All I am saying is be patient. Changes take time. Years....generations, maybe. We have all grown up with it. We do our best to combat it. Things might not change in our lifetime. But look on the bright side...it might change when our kids' time comes.

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quote of the week

"Fuck them. Grow up? If growing up means you can't tell jokes or play pranks, I would rather stay a juvenile, thank you very much."

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Monday, November 21, 2005

assholometer bounty




It is no big secret that I am quite a mean bastard. I pull little girls' hair and steal chocolates from fat chubby kids. I have done many insanely evil things in life, I am convinced that I will meet TuckerMax in hell.

I have blogged about most of my evil deeds before..

1) I am unscrupulous when it comes to money. I conned a lot of my Standard 4 classmates by selling them art blocks for 50 sen a piece.

2) I let the air out of my headmistress' car before. Not one or two tyres, but THREE. Not four because I am very kuailan.

3) I tortured ants and cockroaches in the name of science. I also tortured a bee, but that was for revenge.

4) I have a talent for insulting people. I mercilessly mock ugly people, thin people, and multitudes of faggots.

5) I tend to take the piss out of my friends. I do that a lot.

6) I am a sexist. I quite frequently make fun of women and classify them into groups.

7) I am a bad influence on kids. I teach them stuffs they are not supposed to know. Sometimes, I assault them too.

8) Democracy sucks. I believe in autocracy. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but in the eyes of the Western world, this makes me an asshole.

9) I am VERY anti-social. This is often mistaken (and rightly so) as arrogance, which again, makes me an asshole.

10) I have zero tolerance for suicidal maniacs. I encourage them to end their lives.

11) I am a miser. And a thief too.

12) I am not sarcastic enough. So much so that everybody understands sarcasm. Woohoo!

13) I pick on idiots and bully them sometimes too.

14) I play pranks on this blog....and make an ass out of you guys. And I find it funny too.

15) I am turning this into a meme and spreading the joy, just because I know people hate memes.


Project description:

I am quite a big asshole, eh? This project is called 'The Assholometer Bounty' simply because it is interesting find out, now that you guys know of my evilness, how much you would pay to get rid of me? How much would you be willing to fork out to rid the world of someone like me? Pillage my commenting box with any figure and I will total up the assholometer bounty as we go along.

Let's face it. As much as people like to claim that they are nice people, everybody is an asshole deep down inside. In fact, not enough people are proud of the evil things they did. With the exception of a couple of guys, I don't think enough people blog about their 'assholic' tendencies. Wouldn't it be a joy to read of more people being evil?

1) All you guys have to do is blog about your most 'assholic' deed (or a few, if you wish) in order to get your readers to raise your bounty. The higher your bounty, the better.
2) Copy out these last few paragraphs including the project description.
3) In keeping with being an 'asshole', you are free to spread this meme along to as many people as you wish (the more the merrier since everybody hates memes).

I tag:

Eyeris
Fuckstress
KennySia
Kimberlycun
KY
Lyn
MichaelOoi
Minishorts
RakshaDemon
ShaolinTiger
Suanie
Swifty
Tilia
Viewtru

Look, I even created a thumbnail for you assholes...


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Thursday, November 17, 2005

complicated

Today, I was trying to teach my friend some college level physics when I accidentally made a major boo-boo. The other blokes immediately pounced on my ass and made fun of me...a supposed 'qualified engineer'. I wouldn't blame them. The guy who pounced was a blinking MUSIC major. He was supposed to play with gay stuffs like violins and things like that but he ended up spotting my mistake.

I retorted that this was amateur stuffs and I had progressed onto figuring out more complicated stuffs that we require to sustain world peace...like trying to understand women. One thing led to another in our chat, and we soon established the reason why women were so complicated.

You see, when analysing stuffs you have to look at the bigger picture. No need to wonder why the brain thinks differently. Those are minute details. Leaving aside the fact that male brains are generally more powerful, male brains and female brains are still brains nonetheless. So, I believe the difference (and hence, the problem) lies elsewhere.

So I got thinking, what is the MAIN difference between males and females? I was thinking boobs, but that's not true for I know some dudes with boobs bigger than certain chicks. So I settled for the next best thing.

Take a look down there.

What do guys have? Shaft and head. Pee hole. Rub shaft and head until white stuffs erupt out of the pee hole. Simple and efficient right?

Then you think about females. Die man too much stuffs down there. Clitoris la. Pee hole la. Vagina hole la. Mongoose la. Cumato la. Durian la. Labia also got two types. Inner and outter one some more. I am convinced that some women also haven't heard of those parts before. When wanna get them off, have to play with few parts at a time for extra shiokness. And then they can fake things some more.

Not complicating meh? Fucking troublesome if you ask me.

And that is why, ladies and gentlemen, I am now even more convinced of my genius for I have solved the great mystery of women being complicated. It's not written in their genes as some scientists claim. It's all because of their cheebye area. That's why.

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Wednesday, November 16, 2005

lessons from the 'sphere

I am clever. It is an undisputed fact. I think I am possibly the most clever person around. So clever that when you compare my IQ to yours, you will die of shock. Simply because you will realise that compared to me, you are nothing. No, not just nothing. You.....simply cease to exist.

But then, even evil geniuses like myself can learn lessons from common people like you guys, albeit only once in a blue moon. So here I am sharing my wealth of knowledge that I picked up from other common folk around the net.

When insulting women, ALWAYS insult their looks. I never knew until yesterday that it was soo important. I went to have a look at kimcun's website, her fans called minishorts ugly. I went to minishorts' website, her fans called kimcun ugly. Quite amusing, the deranged horde of fans that exist. I think they all bluffing, both also not ugly what.

Ok, but that's not important. Important thing to learn here is that women also think that looks is important...which is something new to me because I always get berated by women who call me a shallow bastard. They usually proceed to tell me something about 'inner beauty' or some mumbo-jumbo like that which I don't really understand.

So here, we have established that in spite of all that mumbo jumbo of inner beauty, women themselves believe that greatness should be decided by looks. Which is absolutely fine by me!


I also realised that when insulting men, it is also best to insult them by making reference to a female subject. For instance, if you ask your friend to go out drinking with you and he declines, all you need to do is say, "Scared of your wife issit?" But I already knew that. What I just learned was that women also use similar tactics to insult guys.

Supposedly, as some women claim, it is funny that the wife wears the pants in the house, and hence the guy is spineless. This is an awesome new revelation. If you think about it, all those crazy feminists demand that they have equal rights and everything. So if you sit down and analyse the situation, equal rights mean that it shouldn't matter which of the pair is the dominant one in the house.

But clearly, that is not the case for women will call you spineless if you aren't the alpha male. And hence, we can surmise from all that women that are also Male Chauvenists Pigs, which again is totally fine by me!

Moral of the story : Men rule the world. God has a penis.

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Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Blog Wars : Lesson 2 - How to Start a Fake Blog War

I guest blogged Lesson 1 on minishorts.net the other day. Indulge in that first.


Section 2.0 - Introduction

As pioneers of this awesome new art, Vincent and Minishorts are proud to burst the bubble on you noobs. We shall now take you through a step-by-step guide on how to start fake blog wars with your friends, how to make it believable and how to get random kaypoh people to join in.

Section 2.1 - Choosing your victims, rallying your troops, finding the bystanders

To start off, the easiest way to step on people's tail, is to not deliberately step on any tail. You just have to give your smart-ass unwelcome opinion on a particular existing fight. One thing might always lead to another, and crazy ass people will just jump on the opportunity to extend their claws in protection of their loved ones egoes. Even if you're off the net for half the day because of a no-brain DOS attack, you still remain the talk of the blogosphere for heck of a silly war.

A few success examples:

Specimen #1 - Kimberlycun
Anyway, yeah, I do dislike you lor. You know chinese say it's fated bla bla bla. Blog, no blog also same one I suppose.


Hot chick whos fights for everything (literally, EVERYTHING) had to quickly jump on the wagon seeing the chance of a possible new topic. MINISHORTS!

Specimen #2 - Shaolin Tiger
Perhaps the next big thing will be Minishorts.
See she has a whole new fanclub.


Hot chick's friend who calls her humpable, who has been posting lengthy comments, and who thinks minishorts might be, God forbid, the next big thing! How flattering.

Specimen #3 - Justine Chipped Blood Red Polish
Don't mind me though. Just being jeles that I'm not femes.


Blogging veteran who's finally decided to join in the fun. WELCOME HOME, JUSTINE! We've missed you for a bit, *snarl*. This girl is sharp, a very good writer we've been missing on PPS, and her friend, naeboo is the other hit that's rocking the island we call Singapore.

Specimen #4 - You're All Idiots
But then dunno why suddenly after we whores start up this blog and flame people to their face then suddenly all those kelefeh kiasu cunts try to follow and do the same. Soooo wannabeeee...kukuchiao copycats only.


Ok. You're really all idiots. Talk about kelefehs who join a bunch of kelefehs who are blogging about another bunch of kelefehs. But wtf. It was fun!

Hat's off to the above people for being great sports and eager beavers who're always ready to pounce on nonsensical crap.




The Self-professed Fence-sitters are bunch of delusional bystanders, who are too chicken shit to actually take a side. So they decide to sit on the fence. Oh obviously, there are just SO MANY self-professed fence-sitters with popcorn packs, and comment-droppers are guilty as well--however, the ones who dedicate posts to the issue with socio-political posts have to deserve a mention.

Eyeris
Jee Mee
Mahagurusia
Cypher
Unforseeable
Simon Talks



And then, we have The Peace-lovers, who dream of 'days-long-gone' when things were all green and chirpy. Oh well. Unfortunately, human nature isn't perfect, and we all love a good drama from time to time. Crap always sells, that's why readers love to read nonsense.

Kenny
Bawang Merah
Curious George
Kucing Gatal
Edrei

Section 2.2 - Choosing your battlefield

Just like we learnt in Lesson 1, a strategic location is important. All the more so since you are faking a war, the more spectators you get, the better. That is afterall your objective, isn't it?

For a fake war, there is no specific battlefield. Everything goes. As you have no doubt seen from Section 2.1, there will be a lot of spectators around. It is best you grab hold of a great big fan and start fanning the already ridiculous flames and encourage mini-wars on the spectators' blogs. A red hot poker would be ideal too.

Sarcastically comment on your 'enemy's' blog and shoot aimlessly on your blog. Agree with people who take your side and mercilessly flame those who don't. If possible, hack PPS and spray your war insignia there too. Although, it has to be said that that isn't really necessary because people would usually help you do that by pinging their half baked opinions on the war.

Section 2.3 - Going to War

Sometimes, you don't even have to go anywhere. All you do, is take out the popcorn, sit back, as people whom you know, and people whom you do not know, discuss YOU. At the same time, you observe, collect links, and then come up with a pow-ka-liao post like this one. Give credit where credit is due, and share the fun. It's called Shared Elitism, and we're all for World Peace.

Also, remember to try to stick to a very esteemed diplomatic stand on most things. When people say they hate you, you say, you love them. When people say they hope you go die, you say, 'Live, and be happy.' Please, the world is tired of hating and wars. Love one another, we say. We can always fight, but when we meet, shaking hands is obligatory.



After a long discussion regarding who we like and who we don't like, we have this to say: for whatever's happening right now, we really love every single one of you, because you guys write fantastically entertaining posts, as shown above.

Section 2.4 - Conclusion

Blogging is fun. It has always been fun. The day it stops being fun is the day we stop blogging. Behind the thin veil that is blogilitics and cliques there is also a large part of individualism required to add the spice to this blogging cauldron. We have shown you that blog wars can be made into something fun (and stupid) if applied accordingly.

An Internet life should remain in the Internet. When you log off the net and shut down your computer at the end of the day, you should be thinking about your wife and kids, not thinking of making new friends on the net. Worry about your house loan...not worry whether STRANGERS on the Internet like you or abhore you. You should be wondering what you are going to have for dinner, not wondering whether someone on the Internet vandalised your car.

This lesson in pointless warfare was happily brought to you by Minishorts, Vincent, and an unsuspecting bunch of curious cats who delightedly took the bait.

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Monday, November 14, 2005

being minishorts STUPID

Some women are like a werewolf's cunt....Ugly and fucking dangerous.

It beats me how somebody can say something as stupid as this (you can read the full assed shitty article here....but don't bother - it's crap) :

Moderation, my dear Vincent and Shaolin, moderation is the key.
You fucking idiot...Blogger comments how to moderate? Oh yeah...I forgot. I use Blogger. I am a nobody. You are a somebody all high and mighty with your Wordpress shit.

Never mind that I thought you were my friend. Never mind that sometimes friends have to slap each other in the face to wake them up. But fuck, in your attempt to bring down the stupid Asian Tiger wannabe, don't bring down innocent people all the same.

You of all people knew the fucking story rite? You know how Mr & Mrs Asswipe have been nitpicking fights here over the last few weeks. Fuck. And yet, in your attempt to bomb out your nemesis, you had to...you just HAD to weed out your friends, you self centered pig faced bitch.

Period or no period, the KGB would be happy to hire you. You are probably the kind of person who will eat her young and drink their blood to make yourself great. Greatness? Fuck off. Feigning greatness is waayyy different.

Never mind that you can easily message me on MSN to screw me over if you wanted to. Noo, instead you choose to keep your balls to yourself and just whack me over the blog. Heh...the same set of balls you extended to a STRANGER by pouring water all over him.

And you wonder why so many people don't like you?

Here...got a whole list. Anybody wants to add to it, be my guest.

Take your pick, asswipe...

I love Minishorts. Not.
Why do I blog?
Final-fucking-ly
What the hell happened?

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Friday, November 11, 2005

let's console vincent

In the one and the half years of blogging, I have received numerous idiotic comments. Racist comments, flamers, spammers, stalkers.......all idiots, but I deal with it. All sorts of people misunderstand my posts all the time anyway, so it doesn't come as a shock when i get random idiotic comments.

There was one yesterday however that rates amongst the most idiotic I have ever seen. Yes my friends, even more mind boggling than this bunch. I present the famous ShaolinTiger crapping some random stuffs on my TIMTAD post the other day:


Yeah keep consoling yourself, not bad, just different.
# posted by ShaolinTiger : November 10, 2005 4:07 AM

You can say that it sounds tame and harmless, but I know sarcasm when I see it, especially when it has been repeatedly thrown in my face over the last few weeks. I tend to ignore flamers, and so I did. But this was too hilarious to let it pass.

Let me see, an Englishman trying to CONSOLE (for the lack of a better word) a Malaysian about his country? No, wait...better yet. An Englishman STAYING in Malaysia, trying to get me to console myself about a country I have been staying in since I was born?

No more sarcasm dude. No more 'class and style' with which you have been mocking me with. Just point blank to your face. Plain and simply, FUCK OFF.

And hey, while everybody's in a bashing and maybe a consoling mood, let's spare a thought to all the assholes out there who seems to love complaining about the country. When was the last time you sought to make a difference? I know I have. Every Saturday morning when everybody is fast asleep, I help change this country. That's my contribution. And you? Do you do fuck all?

My point from TIMTAD is that it was different, because it truely is. I have stayed in the UK for 3 years and it isn't bad. Neither is it much better (they are of course slightly better as developed country). The point is, there are things which are great in Malaysia that aren't fantastic there. The food for one.

But never mind the luxuries of life. Let's talk about everything we complain about all the time:

Corruption? Ever heard the story of David Blunkett and his lover's nanny's visa application? No? Read all about it!

Think that Malaysia has sucky public services? Care to venture a guess how long it takes for an ambulance in the UK to get to you if you had a concussion and keep throwing up from it? 45 FUCKING MINUTES! And how long would you have to wait if you barge into UH's emergency ward at 1am? Sure as hell NOT 1 and the half hours!

Oh, and you do like complaining about the government wasting public funds do you? Like the artificial palm trees by the road side...well, fear not my friends. Allow me to open your minds to a £70,000 piece of ROCK used to decorate the front of a hospital. Oh wait...£70,000 pounds for a piece of rock? Hmmmm, lemme think....how much money did Datuk So-and-so pocket? Oh no, that's the UK, they don't have corruption there.

And their public transport is awesome right? Yeah, very safe in fact since they have a rule that bus drivers can only drive 5 straight hours. Cool. But I would like you to tell me that it's cool if you were in the middle of somewhere and there's a ridiculous traffic jam, when your bus driver asks you to get off the freaking bus and wait by the roadside without any busstop in sight, just cause its way past his 5 hours. Oh, did I mention it was raining?

And hey, we have a very racist society, don't we? You guys always complain that they have discrimination. But you know, at least I can walk about in this country without people on the street calling me a CHINK and asking me, 'Ni Hao?' with a mocking look.

You know how those Westerners always critisized our ISA until you idiots follow along critisizing it? Would you like a sneak peek into today's news?

Oh.....do you know that the income tax there is 22% if you earn more than £2,000 a year and a whooping 40% for a income of more than £32,000 per annum? And you brainless idiots complain everytime the price of petrol goes up. Any fucking idea how much people overseas pay? Why don't you laugh your way to the bank you ungrateful gits?

So, you morons.....Malaysia doesn't suck. And despite all that stuffs I said up there, the British are proud people and I doubt you'll find a British guy saying that his country sucks because of all that. All I am saying is that things are DIFFERENT.

Somethings you can change, so strive to change it. Somethings take generations to change, so just live with it and shut your gob already.

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Wednesday, November 09, 2005

timtad

It feels great to be home. The contrast couldn't be any more different. Things are just inherently different. You would think that I would have had a great culture shock, but the truth is I have had 2 weeks of practice of the Malaysian mentality before I left.

I had a rather.....dissapointing (for the lack of a better word) experience with a particular shipping company that I used to ship my stuffs back to Malaysia. This particular forwarding company is a Malaysian company based in Manchester and was the cheapest among all that I checked. In fact, they were MUCH cheaper compared to the other forwarding companies.

And so, compromising efficiency and reliability for the cheap rates, I settled for the Malaysian company. To cut a long story short, I waited about a week longer than the originaly agreed date for the boxes to arrive and they only picked the boxes up the day before I left. That, and the added bonus of having to 'settle' things the Malaysian way over some very dubious yet necessary kopi money, left me with a very bitter taste in my mouth.

That same night, my very last night in the UK, while complaining about my predicament of reaccustomising myself back to the Malaysian style, the Malaysian way of doing things, George had an interesting story to share...

I was studying at the University of Nottingham (in case you didn't know). George is doing his PhD. He related the happenings of that morning. Some delegates from UNiM (University of Nottingham in Malaysia) visited the UK branch and had a chat with some of the engineering postgraduates as well as the lecturers. They were trying to get some British guys to go to Malaysia to help set up the new campus.

In his speech, the head of the UNiM delegation apparently warned the British guys of the culture shock that they would face. By best recollection, George quoted him, "This isn't an attempt to discredit the Malaysians, but more of a warning to the potential culture shock that you might face. Here at UNiM, we have a motto amongst as Brits...TIMTAD"

"....This Is Malaysia. Things Are Different..."

True that.

Not better than the UK, not worse. Just different.


I have spent the last few days ripping my CV apart, ammending it to suit the Malaysian style. In the UK, they have strict anti-discrimination laws and hence you don't need to state your sex, ethnic background and even your age when you apply for a job. Compare it to Malaysia, where you have to submit a photo of yourself along with your CV (don't you just pity the lepers?).

I sighed in great disbelieve as I read through the classifieds saying that you have to state in your cover letter your expected pay package. Have fresh grads become so increasingly arrogant that the companies have to weed them out this way?

As I glanced at my newly revamped CV, realisation hit me...

TIMTAD..

TIMTAD indeed......

Not good, not bad. Just different.

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Monday, November 07, 2005

job done

Job done.

Job well done.

Now, would all the glory hunters please FUCK OFF AND DIE?

Sunday, November 06, 2005

before the game

I feel that I should say this before the big game tomorrow. Manyoo against Chelsea. The odds don't look good, but...

There is a question which pisses me off above all. Everytime Manyoo goes through a slum, all those random Group 2 football fans ask me, 'Eh Vincent, what's wrong with Manyoo ar?'

FUCK OFF. Don't blinking disturb me. I am usually in a bad mood when they lose so don't ask me retarded inane questions and expect me to give you a detailed analysis when you probably won't have a blinking clue what I am talking about.

But still, my prediction tomorrow..1-0 to CAPTAIN Park. Although, I sincerely believe that Rooney should be made captain.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

green tea

There's a story I have been dying to tell ever since I got back, but I am kinda lazy and busy (really) so I have decided to humour you guys with an MSN chat from many many moons ago.


Vincent : goddamn tampax..someone needs to go tell them how many ppl i educated about their products...then hopefully they gimme money haha
suanie : niama...i went to check my tampons to see what brand i use
suanie : realised no more tampons oredi
Vincent : buy tampax hahhahaaha
suanie : ahh I USE PLAYTEX! it's teh good
Vincent : never heard of it before
Vincent : (not as if i heard of a lot of brands la...haaha)
Elaine : playtex?
suanie : err or maybe wrong brand
suanie : no ar http://www.zooscape.com/dataimg/zoo0042/0/big/420313_b.jpg

the offending picture


Elaine : ooooohhh
Elaine : hehehehe...so it is tampon...but honestly...if just hear name sound like condom name lar
Elaine : playtex = playing latex
suanie : yah i had to think about the name also
Vincent : unscented?!?!?!
suanie : here in msia they dont sell scent one
Elaine : yeah some ppl are allergic to scented stuffs
Elaine : yeah some ppl are allergic to scented stuffs
Vincent : i was doing research for my article the other day
Vincent : i swear i saw a green tea scent
Vincent : mahai
Vincent : green tea!
Vincent : whats wrong with like flowers and shits....why must have green tea?
suanie : zen mah. passing a msg to the cibai
minishorts : got lah
Elaine : ooh yesss...ohhmm...passing it's calming zen effect to soothe the cibai
Vincent : hahah
minishorts : got green tea scented panty liners by kotex
Vincent : zen effect
Vincent : hahaha
Elaine : ehh? nice ar?
Vincent : someone go try and tell me
Vincent : i ll go blog about it
Elaine : vince go do more research
minishorts : how i know
Elaine : I can imagine vince going around sniffing at panty liners in the mart...woohooooo
minishorts : you take green tea leaves
minishorts : and put down there and see nice or not

Vincent : eh how much research oso...............this zen effect thing....i m not gonna be able to experience
Elaine : if panty liner can lar...you can line your underwear with it mahhhh
Vincent : its ok i dont think i wanna pass any green tea scent to those parts
Vincent : i am ok with the flower scent of lux shower gel
minishorts : maybe it helps cunnilingus kua, the male partner likes to smell green tea before he begins his tongue action
Vincent : OI! got guys cunnilungus when the girl period ar?
suanie : why not
suanie : shove in a tampon
suanie : but im not mini
Vincent : (this is bloggable material!)
minishorts : how the hell do i know i'm not a guy
Vincent : OF COURSE NO LA!
minishorts : from experience ah?
Vincent : oh no...i dont believe in pre-marital sex, remember? just like britney..

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