Monday, January 23, 2006
wants vs needs
For probably the first time in my life, I don't know what I want exactly. Labels: musings
Sure, I WANT a great job, I WANT a successful career and I WANT to enjoy life. Who doesn't?
And then of course, the million dollar question is - How the hell do I do all that? I promised myself never to be a zombie. I refused to conform to the rigours of student life. I fought against being a walking dead in university - and I bloody enjoyed it. I figured out early that there are some sacrifices worth making and I made those compromises.
But heck, here I am today, eating my own words, working - doing the same thing everyday, which is just fine, but what I have yet to understand is why I am doing it in the first place. Of course, every other fool can tell you that you need a job to get money and well, we all know why we need that money after all. So in other words, we NEED a job.
And you know, we grow up in life knowing what our next objective is. In primary school, we need to do well so that we can have a strong foundation for secondary school. That in turn is so that we can do well in SPM (hah!) and get into a good college, which gets us into a great uni. And we know that good unis make good professionals, which is all we grew up thinking we wanted to be. A doctor, a lawyer, an accountant.
Ok, now that I've been through all that, what next? Whooops, I've come around to a complete circle. I've been through that. The problem is I knew all along that this is what I want, but now that it is in front of me, I am reaching out hoping to grab what I expect to be there, but it's not. There's a whole chunk of void which I conveniently forgot about, and being delusional doesn't help either.
You probably have no idea what my incoherant rambling is all about, but this sums it all quite fittingly.