Tuesday, February 07, 2006
i am single because...
There are many reasons I don't have a girlfriend... Labels: musings
1) I like my freedom. Its great that I can sleep when I want, watch TV when I want, and sleep again when I feel like it.
2) I am fussy. Blimps can go hang. Bimbos too. Actually, add yourself to the list if you have any of the following traits: cannot cook, don't read the newspapers, spend more than5 mins putting make up, don't go camping, etc....email me for a full and comprehensive list.
3) I am like a lobster. I mate for life. This means that you have gotta be THE ONE. Selection of THE ONE is a bit like Star Wars. I use the force and as the Jedi Master, I can feel whether the force is strong with someone.
4) I am an elitist. If you are not as good as I am or better, there's no way I am going to talk to you, less agree to go out with you.
5) I am stingy. My money is to be spent on my toys and on food. Whatever remains of my paycheck after paying for toys and food goes to my car fund. My car fund is a fund set up to save money for a Ferrari before I turn 30. Now, if I don't have enought money to buy a Ferrari, do you think I want to waste money buying useless stuffs like teddy bears and earrings?
Ok, let's be honest here. I'll try not to be rude even. If you read all of that and nodded your head even once, chances are you are a single and have never been laid. Simple fact of the matter is that all of the above was bullshit. They are nothing but fabricated excuses to cover the 'embarassing' idea of a person being single. Oh my, the travesty!
Never mind whether or not I really believe those things. What's important is that they are nothing more than mere excuses usually blurted out by idiots who want to hook up but can't. Most of the time, it's the chicks who spew all this nonsense from their mouths. I once heard a girl say she chose to remain single because of all that supposed freedom. 3 months later, she went out with the most oppressive chauvanist I have ever seen. Today, she's still bonking him and he gets to control the type of clothes she wears.
The reason for this was the article in today's Star Section Two that focused on women who didn't want to get married. It was by far one of the stupidest articles I have read in a long long time. The whole article was peppered by testimonials of women who claimed they didn't want to get married, all for various reasons. By far the winning lie goes to this one woman who said her husband might not allow her to play futsal on Tuesday.
Any woman who claims to never want to get married (whatever lies, or excuses she gives) is crapping the shit out of you. The simple fact is, there isn't a single woman alive who doesn't dream that one day a Prince Charming would ride along and sweep her off her feet, a guy that would pamper her and look after her for the rest of their lives. It is a nice fantasy to have, and I refute any contradictory claims.
So hey, since Valentine's Day is coming, and the next time people ask you that dreaded question of 'WHY?' do everybody a favour and don't spew your bullshit in my face.
so no guy would wanna remain single either huh?
They aren't just lying to you. In fact, they are lying to themselves as well. It's a well known defence mechanism woman use to protect themselves from relationship, heartbreak and the lot.
But deep down they want Prince Charming and they would give in when it He appears.
I think I need a slave more than I need a boyfriend.
Get to decide when I wanna see him or not, when I wanna go sleep/movie/dinner blah blah and yes, when to have him clean up the dishes left behind.
Got male maids anot?