Wednesday, April 26, 2006

thinking the world owes you

I read with interest an article in the Star a few weeks ago. It reported the story of a wheelchair bound lady who couldn't reach the paying machine for parking tickets, and so she decided not to pay for her parking tickets. As you would imagine, not paying for parking would earn you a saman, and despite numerous (rejected) appeals saying that she was disabled, the Klang Municipal Council have decided to take her to court.

Court taking disabled woman to court over parking fees

KUALA LUMPUR: It can be difficult to find disabled-friendly parking space in Klang, yet the Klang Municipal Council (MPK) is prepared to take a disabled woman to court for failure to pay parking-related compounds.

Independent Living & Training Centre secretary Gurdip Kaur @ Rina was taken aback to receive a notice dated March 30 from the council informing her that court action "will be initiated at any time" against her.

The letter was headed "Notice of Court Action and Warrant of Arrest".

Rina, 45, made frequent visits to Klang in mid-2004 as the centre was organising an event there and received about 10 compounds then for not paying parking fees.

"There were no parking lots for the disabled and the ticket machines were inaccessible for wheelchair-bound people as there were poles in front of them," she said yesterday at a press conference.

According to her, when she called the council to explain the situation, its legal adviser Fadzilah Abd Aziz said: "Whether you are disabled or not, you have to pay the parking fees. Rules are rules."

Rina, who has been paralysed from the waist downwards after a fall in 1993, then wrote a letter of appeal to the council on Feb 22 last year, enclosing a copy of her disabled person's identification card.

However, she received the council's notice last Friday.

Rina - who said she did not get help from passers-by to pay her parking fee because she "wanted to be independent" - felt that the council should not penalise disabled people when it did not provide adequate parking facilities for them.

"I don't want to see the same thing happening to other disabled people," she said.

Centre adviser Anthony Thanasayan said local authorities of places like Seremban and Kajang would cancel such compounds once the situation had been explained to them.

"Why can't MPK do the same?

"Malaysia is a caring society but this incident shows that some people are insensitive. It's as if these people are sending out a strong message: 'Don't come out. Stay at home'. But we are just like anyone else," he said.

Anthony said the centre hoped to meet with Housing and Local Government Minister Datuk Seri Ong Ka Ting to discuss this issue.

"The ministry should educate local councils on how to treat us right," he said, urging local authorities to work more closely with disabled groups.

When contacted, MPK public relations officer Norfiza Mahfiz said Rina should see her at the council office to sort out the matter.

However, she added: "Whether you are disabled or not, parking without paying the parking fees is wrong.

"She can be granted a discount, but we are not going to cancel the compounds."

There was a subsequent follow-up report in The Sun a few days after that where some comments by some disabled groups and a politician or two were thrown into the mix. This topic is one that hits close to home (VERY close to home, I might add), but yet I feel that there is a slight injustice in the reaction of the newspapers and the politicians to go out and critisize the Klang Municipal council. They have since cancelled all the summons due to external pressure from the public, disabled groups and of course those lovely politicians.

My major bone of contention here is that she could have asked for help from a passerby to help her buy the ticket, but she chose not to do that because she "wanted to be independant". Being independant isn't really the point. We recognise our flaws but we also have to recognise that we sometimes need help. It has nothing to do with independance. It is plain arrogance to demand that you do not have to pay for parking just because they do not make the machine 'disabled friendly'.

(On a sidenote : I can't seem to figure out how we can make the parking coupon machine 'wheelchair friendly' since it would have to be incredibly low for wheelchair bound folks to reach, but that would be a ridiculous design since everybody would have to bend really low to use it)

I think it very wrong that the Municipal council retracted the summons. I think it very wrong the disabled groups had to play the PITY card. I am saddened because this issue has got nothing to do with 'society being caring' or people being 'insensitive'. She also goes on to say that she does not feel the need to pay the parking ticket when the council did not provide adequate parking facilities. This is nothing more than arrogance and thinking the world owes her aplenty. There aren't adequate parking lots for everybody else as well....so does that mean that if I can't find a parking space, I can park of the yellow line and then refuse to pay the fine if a policeman comes along?

This is nothing more than a woman REFUSING to pay her parking ticket and then getting away with it scot-free just because she sits in a wheelchair.

Would she have to pay her parking tickets in the future?

I guess not.


Monday, April 24, 2006

in yer face, suckers

Crude oil has risen to an all time high of $75 per barrel up from about $62 in February when the government decided to rise the price of fuel. Nonetheless, they are keeping their word (for now, at least) that there would be no further hikes this year. Still, I wouldn't blame them if they did - many analysts claim that they wouldn't be surprised if it hits the $100 per barrel mark by the end of the year.

I have some unanswered questions.....

Don't you guys feel like a downright moron now?

Are you thankful that it was ONLY 30 sen back then?

Aren't you glad that I explained the concept of uncertainty so now you understand why the government is not going to raise the price again this year?

Did those protestors stop protesting outside KLCC because they got bored, or because they found a job, or because they realised they were simply being numbnuts?

Have you finally grown your brains?

Have you learnt that if you are a bimbo, a kid with shit for brains, or a jobless bum, it is best you keep quiet?

Are you convinced of my genius now?

More importantly,

Would you like to start queueing up to kiss my toes and apologise for heresy?


Saturday, April 22, 2006

you see la

The other day, they announced that co-curicular activities would count for university applications and JPA scholarships. And being one who advocates an all-rounder education, I was chuffed to hear it. But then, I learned that it would only count for a measely 10% of the whole points system. It is still pathetically measely yet some people applauded such an action.

Then sometimes, you read the papers and come across something that makes you really happy. Stuffs like this:

Kylie opts for Harvard

KUALA LUMPUR: Kylie Anne Francis was thrilled to receive a letter of acceptance from Harvard University.

What is more, she does not even have to pay a single sen to study at the Ivy League university in the United States.

She will receive financial assistance of up to US$44,000 (RM160,973) a year, inclusive of housing and tuition fees.

"It is indeed a pleasant surprise and I'm looking forward to my freshman year, starting this September," said the 19-year-old A-Level student of Taylor's College.

Kylie from Bangsar, was among eight applicants from Malaysia selected for interviews for two places at Harvard.

She also received an offer from Britain's Cambridge University for her undergraduate studies, but chose to pursue economics in Harvard.

"Harvard is well known for business studies," said Kylie, who scored 8As in her Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia (SPM).

The announcement for the autumn intake was made at a press conference at the Malaysian-American Commission on Educational Exchange (Macee).

Dr Goh Cheng Teik, who interviewed applicants here on behalf of Harvard University, said applications were not based solely on academic achievements.

"The Harvard admission committee also considers many other criteria such as community service, leadership and extracurricular activities as well as work experience," he said.

He added that applicants would qualify for financial assistance if the combined incomes of their parents did not exceed US$60,000 (RM219,510) a year.


You see kids, this (pretty) girl scored "ONLY" 8 A's for SPM. I reckon 8A's wouldn't qualify you for a JPA scholarship these days. And heck, if a 14A's student doesn't get that JPA scholarship, multitudes of muppets would be screaming foul at racism, and maybe even some hanky panky hocus pocus abracadabra putu mayam.

And the irony is, the supposedly smart ones lose all hope when they don't get the JPA scholarships, those kids start to scream foul play you would think the big bad wolf came along and stole their ice creams. The other day, they were making noise in the papers about the kid in the wheelchair who didn't get the scholarship even though he had 12A's.

Aah, he's disabled, some people scream. Give him the scholarship already!

But you know, I don't think the problem was with his disability. I don't think any disabled person would want to get a scholarship just because they were disabled - that's charity and I know a fair well good amount of them who have more pride than to accept such 'charities'. That said, he shouldn't have gotten the scholarship (which he eventually did) for the simple fact that he applied to do a course which he didn't study in school - a course which was totally irrelevant with regards to those 12A's that he got.

But back to Harvard chick...

I don't worship many people (since I am quite an atasan) but you know, I do worship people like that. It makes me happy for them that they know that a pathetic (by today's standards) 8 A's for SPM will not stop them and they understand that there are much more important things that results, and far more to a person's childhood than just book mugging.


Tuesday, April 18, 2006

letters to the editor

Dear Vincent,

I hate socialist pricks. They make me angry. I am so angry it's not even funny. They talk all sorts of nonsense, you sometimes wonder whether their minds are so open until they have leaked out. At other times, you wonder whether they say things just because they have a tongue and feel that if they don't use it, it will go to waste. Unfortunately, they also forgot that they have a brain which they have sadly neglected.

On the other hand, you are the greatest mostest influential blogger in the whole wide world. You have radical ideas which are like, awesome.

Keep up the good work.

An annoyed person

Dear Vincent,

I have a question. How come, when we see an ugly person on the road and make fun of him it's perfectly normal. But when we see an ugly disabled person and make fun of him, you get shot, even though his ugliness has got nothing to do with his disablity?

A puzzled person

Dear Vincent,

The other day, when I was walking along the road, I saw a bunch of ducks following the mother goose (I am unsure..is the mother duck called a goose?). The whole bunch of ugly ducklings were walking in a single file following the duck in front of them. In fact, they were walking so closely, it looked like they were sniffing or kissing on each other's ass. We all know from story that baby ducks are ugly (hence, The Ugly Duckling) so why they wanted to kiss each other's ugly (and smelly) ass, I don't know.

My then girlfriend, upon observing such a weird behaviour, remarked, "Stupid n00bs kissing each other's ass." Upon hearing such an insensitive remark, I laid the smack down and sent her tumbling down the stairs, for she might have hurt the feelings of all those ugly ducklings.

An observant person


Monday, April 17, 2006

laughter, the best medicine

I was sitting in my uncle's house two Sundays ago waiting to go to the cemetary for the annual Qing Ming celebrations (can you call it a celebration?). While waiting, I was reading the papers when I started laughing at a particularly funny headline.

Nine year old weighs 117kg

At the hospital, Asyraaf's diet consisted of three small meals a day.

The meals, he added, consisted of bread or noodles and Milo for breakfast and rice with fish or chicken and lots of vegetables for lunch and dinner.

Despite all this, the boy takes it all in his stride.

He was all smiles when Perak police chief Deputy Comm Datuk Zainal Mohd Tahir presented him with a food hamper during a visit to the hospital's paediatric ward on Friday.

"I love chocolates, cream and wafer," he said.

I looked at the headline, looked at the caption for the picture and laughed till bits of the famous Muar otak-otak came out through my nose. Einstein couldn't have thought of a smarter thing to do. Ahh, this fat kid just came through a tough diet. Let's reward him with a hamper. No, wait...a FOOD hamper, no less!

And then on Saturday, while eating some nasi lemak just before going off to do my usual Saturday morning community service thingyamingy, I was forced to laugh so hard again until some of the jangdut sotong came out through my nose again.

Boy's weight goes up again
He blames gain on police hamper

Asyraaf Syahmie Hasri spent two months at Ipoh Hospital on a gruelling diet but after leaving it, he has in fact put on 1kg - and he's "blaming" the police for it.

The nine-year-old is now pointing the finger at a hamper that the police gave him when they visited him during Police Day on April 7.

The hamper, containing cookies, chocolates and sweet drinks, was presented to him by Perak police chief Deputy Comm Datuk Zainal Mohd Tahir.

Yesterday, Asyraaf Syahmie stood on a weighing scale at the hospital's physiotherapy centre and saw it show 118kg.

He looked at his mother, housewife Salmah Yusof, 42, and said: "Alamak, mama. Dah naik la..." (Oh dear, mama. It has gone up.)

Asyraaf Syahmie said he could have gained weight because he had eaten some of the sweet delights from the hamper.

Einstein would have been so proud of us.

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Friday, April 14, 2006

secret of my success

It is no big secret that I am a confident person. You see, confidence is the complete inverse of modesty. It is also well know that I am famous for my non-existance modesty. I know I am great, I know I am a genius in my own right, and I never fail to stop reminding myself that I am sugar and spice and everything that's nice (catchy line, that).

You see, folks, the secret to awesomeness is a rock hard confidence in everything you do. When you are shrouded in an aura of invinsibility, you feel you can do anything it is you set out to do. Of course, such zen-like confidence is hard to build up and takes years and years of practice.

A good start to doing that is NOT putting in your fullest effort in everything you do. Yes folks, you heard that right. DO NOT give your all. DO NOT pour in a 100% effort when you work or study. The maximum effort you should put in would ideally be around 90%. You are also welcome to put in less effort, but that is strictly up to you.

This is because if you give your all and you fail, you end up looking like a right darn loser and your confidence gets shaken (but not stirred though). That is why putting in 90% effort is the way to go. If you fail you can take solace in the fact that you could have done better and that your only reason for failure was because you were lazy and not because you are stupid. And if you exceed all expectations and perform well, you can bask in the fact that you succeeded even though you didn't give your all, and hence you are nothing short of AWESOME.

It is not lying to yourself, no sir. Of course, for most of you, you might have already been scarred by failures of your past when you give your best in previous endeavours. For some child prodigies however, having NEVER given their all, there is always a justification to failure.

One of my friends commented, "But you study till wee hours of the morning the night before your exam!" Yes, but that's only because I needed to bump up my effort from 15% to 80%. This theory is nothing short of mind-blowing and nobody but me could have ever thought it. So, I think at this point I shall stop babbling and leave you to worship me and my lazy, but very confident ass.


Tuesday, April 11, 2006

glamourous jobs

It isn't a myth that most people think a doctor's job is glamourous. Of course, once you start trudging through the mud of Med School, and work like a slave for most of your younger years will you come to realise that it maybe isn't as glamourous as ER would have you believe. Of course, once you are done with MedSchool and internship and specialised in geriatrics, you then get to look at old saggy pussies all day long which does nothing more than to heighten all that glamour.

I was watching 'Catch Me if You Can' the other day and they portayed the job of an air stewardess to be a glamourous one. But of course, that was back in those days where only the rich and elite could afford to fly. Nowadays, since everybody can fly, the steoreotype would have it that stewardess are nothing more than a pretty looking waitress who flies and gets to serve Ah Choy the jakun. "Coffee or tea, sir?"

But hey, that's just me.

I prefer to work on an Oil Rig in the middle of the sea. I've always wanted to do that since I was a kid and then when I went to visit Petrosains in Form 4, I was utterly convinced. Of course, some would argue that digging up slush that was formerly a bunch of dead dinosaurs (and their fart) would hardly seem like an ideal job for most.

Still, I would argue that the coolest job around would be that of a lawyer. Not everybody gets to go to work everyday with a forked tongue, you know.


Saturday, April 08, 2006

i see idiots

If you didn't already figure out, the picture above is a screenshot of a Microsoft Word document done by someone else that made me bang my head repeatedly against the wall (and subsequently caused a small structural crack in the said wall).

Quite simply put - if you looked at the above picture and DIDN'T find anything stupid / funny / idiotic / weird / ridiculous about it, may I suggest that you press Alt+F4, shut down your computer, and take a sledgehammer and smash it to pulp. After that, you can proceed to shoot yourself - twice in the gut and once in the ass, just to make sure.

Update :

Folks, there are a shit load of things wrong with it..

The most obvious, as many of you had pointed out was the fact that the muppet should have used a table instead.

Secondly, those arrows you see are actually 'TABS'. You DON'T need to press TAB a few times to get to a particular spot in the middle of the sentence. You can easily set the TAB distance by click on the ruler at the top of the document. It is much faster and editting it wouldn't be such a bitch.

Then of course there are smaller issues like using the 'subscript' function for chemical names and the fact that 'ML' should be in smaller letters, not large ones.

Still, it is worrying that all of us have used Word at some point, and most of us still use it on a daily basis at work or in uni. Yet, there are a few simple functions which many people remain clueless about.


Thursday, April 06, 2006

oh my, the curses!

My friend Faith asked me the other day how come my posts were suddenly so serious these days. I was writing about stuffs like racism, all purely factual stuffs of course. See, these days I tend to write things according to my mood. It just happened that I was in a serious mood then, as I am in a playful mood now. That probably explains why I have a damn interesting piece begging to be writen but I haven't gotten down to it because there is no way I can justify such a powerful piece with my current mood.

Bah. Enough with the pretentiousness already.

It's weird how random conversations with friends can lead to age old flashbacks of a time that once was. You see, I used to have tonnes of pictures of famous hot chicks as a screen saver slideshow. One thing led to another, and I mentioned that I don't have that all so famous screensaver anymore because it got stolen along with my notebook last year.

And just then, I realised that a year today was the exact day the damn neighbourhood pikey broke intot the house and stole it. One year ago today! And of course, I went to dig up my archives to read what I had written on that particular subject, only to see this in the last paragraph:

May the virus from my computer infect you and infest your bowels with the vomit of a 1000 obese skunks till the fleas eat away at your lungs so you can't breathe and eventually resemble a dried out sea slug when you die, you contemptuous misogynic mongrel.
And of course I do know for a fact that more people hate me now than they did before, so I guess in the minds of Neanderthals, anger brings more love than hate.

*but if you think about it, it is pretty fucking funny after all*


Wednesday, April 05, 2006

it sucks

I usually blog as I think. The words that you read here are exactly the words that appear in my mind at the same instant. For most of my articles, I never read back to check for spelling mistakes, and neither do I read back to rephrase my sentences. That means, most of the time, you are reading as words flow out my mouth. It is as if you are listening to me speak, for words that are blurted out cannot be swallowed back in.

But, as you noticed, I said "most of the time" because there are times when I am forced to look through and scan through the article for any sentence which might seem ambigous. Ambigous sentences always attract idiots who will invariably have shitty English and those said idiots will misunderstand the whole point of the story and then start hating me. Now, it's not as if I care if people hate me, but I do understand that there is too much hate in this world and I should try to put down on all that hate, even if it comes from a bunch of jamooks.

And of course, it is like a domino effect. When one twit misconstrues something and he leaves a comment, then another twit would read it, think that the first twit interpreted my mesage correctly and then he starts with all the hate. After a while I am left with an orc hoarde of brainless but very angry (and no doubt ugly) beasts.

So, for some articles, like most of the racial issue stories, I have to really scruntinise the content and the phrasing of a sentence, less a blog patrol policeman (or woman) comes around and tries to teach me about moral ethics.

There is a point to all this.

I was supposed to write on a very touchy subject tonight, but I realised that it would take me a shit load of time - something that is nothing short of a luxury these days (although I hope it changes soon, very soon), and I am so frustrated that I can't churn out a 20 minute sensitive article, which actually brings me to post this since small crappy nonsense like this takes no more than 10 minutes.

But you don't get it. I know that there are idiots out there, and as much as I hate it, those same idiots read this blog. Therefore, it would be incredibly negligent of me not to take proper preventive actions. Of course, even with some preventive actions, people will invariably get pissed and offended, but at least I know I did my best.

And inspite of all that, you still don't get it, do you?


Saturday, April 01, 2006

the audience

Streamyx has let me down for the first time ever. My line has been sort of down since Friday, but it's not as if I made any attempts to fix it, so I shall not complain anymore. But as a result of that, I wasn't able to post anything on the blog birthday on the 31st. It's been two freaking years I have been out there entertaining you guys, educating you guys and above all - pissing you guys off big time.

And of course, since it was down on Saturday as well, I couldn't do an April Fool's post, although why people still try to trick people online - I never get it. And no fellars, it doesn't count as an April Fool's joke if you did your prank before the day itself. But heck, who am I to say? I think I pissed off way more people this year than I did the previous year - first with the blog war prank thingy and then later on with the petrol thingy. Eyeris says I have an uncanny ability to piss people off. I think I shall not argue on that point.

But it got me thinking.....

I reckon I have many types of audiences.

There are of course the hardcore fans who keep refreshing my page 5 times a day wondering why I haven't updated.

Then there are the slightly more astute blokes who are wondering why I bother explaining stuffs like in the first paragraph. They read stuffs and they contemplate its meaning quietly.

Of course, there are the Nemesis who insist my blog is the worse thing ever on the Intern

Bah. Who am I kidding?

I only have two types of readers - The Average Joe and The Average Dumbass.

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