Thursday, September 28, 2006
The flavour of the week (for me at least) is to write random stuffs and get you to adore it. Labels: jokes
This YeeHou bloke commented down below that 'teehee' seems out of place in this blog. True, at first glance. But I reckon with Vincent, and the Vincent I am talking about here is the Vincent you meet everyday talking to you through some LCD monitor, with Vincent, you are never going to know what you get.
Today it can be serious stuffs. Tomorrow I will take the piss out of someone. Maybe the next day I write about tampons and pads. This is me. This is what I do everyday. My job on this blog is to entertain you, or dumbfuck you if that is what makes you high and floats your boat. I am at your service, see, because there is something wrong with this world and I do what I can to make random strangers happy so that I can score enough Brownie points to go sit on God's lap when I croak one day.
Everything works fine, see. If I tell you a happy story, you feel happy. If I tell you a sad story, you would realise that your life isn't as pissy as you think it is. If I bash socialists, well, we can all laugh at Micheal Moore and agree that it's quite funny if you aren't a socialist yourself.
Anyway, seeing as to how I seem to have some really sick and demented friends who seem to be willing to share their most twisted secrets (although most of the time, we gossip about other people's so-called secrets). Yes, in case you haven't already realised, I am an asshole. So the story goes, I heard a story a couple of days ago after which my reaction sounded something like, "YOU MUTHERFUCKER...I fucking hate you. Too much info, bitch!"
In all probability you did't quite get it, so here is another example. In Hicksville, I rent a single storey 3 bedroom house all to myself. Some new colleagues have asked whether they can stay with me, but I have turned them down. Everybody asks me why I choose to stay alone and I tell them that I love my privacy and since I can afford the rent, why not?
In truth, the reason I choose to stay alone is so that I can walk around the house nude.
So here's where you go...
EWW EWWW EWWWWWWWW
Fuck if I care what you think.
I was involved in quite a big project at work for the past one month or so, and being Field Engineers, we seem to compete with each other over who can look scruffier than the other.
Scratched and muddy safety boots? Check.
Uncombed messy hair? Check.
Crumpled t-shirt? Check. Torn? Check. Stained with grease? Check.
And because I am a lazy prick, I have decided to stop shaving (actually I still shave the cheeks and the neck since the stubbles of hair seem to grow slowly there they just look stupid).
Which then brings us to a typical caveman speak:
Me kill cow.
Me cook cow. Me comb facial hair. Me fuck woman.
I have since been told by certain women that facial hair is sooo not cool. One of them went to the extent of saying that facial hair will tickle her lips if we ever snogged (which she claims will only happen in my wildest dreams - HAH! some women like to kid themselves!) Sigh, some people just have a narrow tunnel vision. Facial hair tickling lips should be a good thing, no?
Moustache = Ticklish
Stubble = Whisker burn
Eventhough I happen to think some men with stubble are hot...lol.
Same reason why I prefer not to houseshare. It's liberating to walk around the house naked. Just have to take care there isn't any nosy neighbours with binoculars around. :)
write whatever you like - we're cool with it (not really interested in ur facial hair pic tho...)
still for most humans facial hair isnt really cool imho ;)
He he heh.
and if that was 2 weeks ago...skrang should be worse, no? (sorry, not a fan of facial hair)