Tuesday, October 31, 2006

what would you have me say?

That some women have to look themselves in the mirror before bitching about other people's ugliness?
That other women are bitches for agreeing to go out with a guy, only to mock him in front of her friends later?
That women are plain evil?


That I am just not motivated for this shit anymore?
That this is getting too easy for me?
That maybe I need my daily dose of Coke?


That I am happy for you when I am not?
That I wanted this so fucking badly?
That I am only human, and jealousy isn't exactly something new?


I don't know.
What else would you possibly have me say?


Sunday, October 22, 2006

just a thought

I have received enlightenment today!

The only side effect to that is that my eyes hurt when I look at bright screens, like the one
I am looking at now to type this. Of course, it is for that reason, I chose to be merciful on you people out there, which is why you are staring at a maroon screen. Dark colours, don't hurt as much, you see.

I hope all this isn't serious. After all I only spent today watching 10 episodes of House and a 2.5 hour long 'The Prestige', which annoyingly, some uneducated jakuns were too stupid to comprehend, so they spent the final third of the movie talking about their lives in general. He tried singing too, and I did ask him to shut the fuck up, but since other people said nothing, I have to assume that none of them understood what was going on either. Yes, these kampung folk are thick and yes, you are going to scream that I am arrogant and cocky. Well, forgive me for feeling inspired after watching 10 damn episodes of the God of Cockiness going at it.

But stunningly, another fellow proDG pointed out to me last night that we weren't exactly geniuses. In fact it is extremely worrying because this only means that the rest of you people out there are actually stupid. Wow. A whole new perspective on life!

Still, not to dissapoint you, I did come up with the most far sighted thought last night. I am usually very far sighted and plan way ahead. I have even picked out my kid's names, and if you are interested, the girl's name would be Ashley. But that doesn't really matter. What matters is Ashley's future, as was carefully mapped out in a conversation with a friend last night.

Vincent : I am not sending my kid for any tuition or piano classes if they don't like it.
Vincent : With the exception of the girl. She goes for ballet lessons.
Vincent : She'll thank me when she grows up and can do a split.
Vincent : Because everybody knows how useful that would be in life.
I hope they don't put people in jail for things like that....


Wednesday, October 18, 2006

a simple life

Something odd happened the other day.

I drove back to Hicksville after being away for more than a week. As I was driving into the town and nearing my house, I suddenly felt that I actually missed this place. I missed all the greenery. I missed the sun rising over the ocean just opposite my house every morning. I missed the sound of the crickets at night. And it wasn't just nature that I missed.

It is the whole value package dumped into the equation that makes Hicksville - the potholes and the frustrating single laned roads, the kampung folk burning their rubbish in front of their houses, the stupid kids running around in the middle of the streets, and let's not forget the cows and goats.

I pulled up into my house and my neighbour who had just come home from work greeted me with a warm, 'Wah lama tak jumpa, welcome back!' This opposed to my fatty neighbour back in PJ whom I played together as a kid. I see him and wave, and he nods his head in such a way that his neck suddenly dissapears. Anyways, the neighbour (the stown, not the fatty) was telling me of another break-in in the neighbourhood that happened in the week that I was away.

Apparently there had been 6 break-ins and 5 motorbikes stolen in the neighbourhood in the last 6 months. What surprised me was their reaction to it. Instead of bitching about how the police aren't doing their jobs (like how the city folk seem to enjoy doing), these folks formed a Rukun Tetangga thingy and will start the programme after Hari Raya. And to throw in added measure, every house in the area (me included) forked out 10 bucks so that they could go hire a few private patrolmen to look after the area during the Raya holidays.

I find it...inspiring...that the kampung folk who more often than not are neglected by the government never seem to nitpick at issues like that. They recognise the problem but they don't blame anybody - they just do what needs to be done to fix it. City folks could do a lot to learn from these simple folk. You can get everything you need in the city - all the necessary ammeneties, all the luxuries of life, and yet city folks are an unpleasant, easily irritable lot who moan and groan when their daily coke isn't delivered on time.

The solution is simple. Everybody should rear two chickens in their backyard. Throw in a goat and a cow for good measure, too.

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Sunday, October 15, 2006

we are all the same, lah!

Up until last week, I was one of the few city folks who had never stepped foot into that little country down south. There were many occasions along the years where I had the chance to, but somehow those trips never materialised.

I remember my parents going down in 1996 because my dad had a business trip or something. I opted not to go because I wanted to go watch Selangor play the Malaysia Cup final in Shah Alam stadium (good choice, because Malaysian football was never the same after that with the emergence of Astro and their limitless football coverage). There came along a few other chances, but somehow they never really materialised.

Anyway, you don't really have to step foot on the other country to know about the existing rivalry between the two countries (and the people, of course). While most Malaysians I know can't really stand those funny people down south, there are some who worship them for the same reason some women worship Prada. And from those people, you hear all sorts of mythical things about the supposedly 'awesome' island nation.

For instance, you hear that people there are very law abiding. In their country, maybe. But when I was driving down and got stuck in the causeway for 2 hours, I saw all the Singaporean cars cutting queues and effectively turn a 3 lane road into a 5 lane one. This one particular nice bloke even threw a sweet wrapper out of his car window.

And then there is the proclaimation of being a very very clean city. Sorryla, but when you tell me a city is clean, I was thinking along the lines of Zurich and Vienna. It's not very hard being cleanER than KL you know. You can also see rubbish along Orchard Road, while not to the magnitude of Petaling Street, it is certainly far from the fabled truth that you will not see a single speck of dirt in Singapore.

Then of course, there's the usual Asian uncourteous character. It is no different for Malaysia in that nobody clears their tables in Burger King or McDonalds. One whole week there and not a single person held open a door for me, nor did anybody thank me for holding the door open for them. Not to mention of course that I happened to drop my wallet (which has a sinful number of cards) at the MRT station, and not a single person bent down to help me pick up the contents. In fact, there was a slightly skanky looking female who loudly exclaimed, "Whoah!" when she saw all the cards spill on the floor.

Speaking of the MRT, just as in Malaysia, people don't seem to know how to queue up during peak hours (at least not when I used it) and nobody understands that it is common courtesy to stand on left while going up the escalator so that people in a hurry can run up the escalator.

Then there are the taxi drivers, who are a chatty bunch, who remind me of the idiots roaming around on the Internet with their half baked opinions on everything. The older blokes are more pro-government, and there was this one guy who pretty much had nothing but praise for everything around him. But he was the exception, as most of the younger blokes seemed enjoy nothing more than to complain about everything Singaporean.

"This gomen aaah, you see this ERP? Everyday Robbing People! This is legalised robbing! You see this father and son gomen? My friends, welcome to the Leepublic of Singapore..."
I reckon it is pretty much a universal thing. People bitch when they have to pay for things, even though they have a choice not to use those things. People bitch because they can, but while bitching is an acceptable form of venting your frustrations, whinning is pretty much annoying and pointless.

I was travelling with my boss and technician, both of whom are Malays, and I pretty much look like one, so this one particular Malay taxi driver thought it was appropriate to diss the Chinese. This is something I actually knew all along, but his complaints pretty much confirmed the fact that being Chinese in Malaysia is pretty much the same as being a Malay in Singapore. The bloke bitched about Harry Lee's recent comments, adding that loads of Malaysian Chinese go to Singapore and get good jobs there only because of their skin colour...and he would have gone further if my boss didn't interupt him to point out that I was a Chinese.

Malay or Chinese, Malaysian or Singaporean, we are all the same. Most Singaporeans have relatives in Malaysia and likewise. All of us Chinese were born here, and have no ties to China. We can complain about political issues till the cows come home, but that is not going to change the fact that we are who we are.

This got me thinking of 2 weeks ago when I met up with some uni friends for a mamak session. These are guys who pretty much used to diss everything imaginable about Malaysia when we were in uni. But the other day, when one of them brought up some racial issues, another guy interrupted with, "Aiyah, we all know things like that happenla. But we are all surviving, and all of us have awesome jobs. So, what's the problem?"

That particular topic promptly ended with an observation of the female species, as is the norm in every male discussion. It suddenly started to pour in the mamak place, so we moved to the covered area, when this Malay girl and her friends rushed in. Her white baby-tee was a little wet as was her long hair, making her look unbelievably sexy. As we oggled, one of the guys made the comment of the night:

"Eh, I dunno about you guys la, but I am starting to think that some tudung chicks are fucking hot, whey!"


Saturday, October 07, 2006


I am going down to Kiasuland for the whole of next week.

The blokes at HR and Finance have been telling me that I could stay in ANY hotel of my choice. There is no limit for overseas travel it seems.

I was deliberating over whether it was ethical of me as a small fry to go and book Raffles Hotel for a whole week. Technically, I could.

But I just.......couldn't.

I am getting weak and soft. HELP ME ALREADY!

(yes it has been pointed out that my writings have been sucky as of late....well you can read other blogs out there you know)


Thursday, October 05, 2006

woe is me

Today's words of wisdom, direct from an MSN chat log:

Vincent says:
you dont know guys

Vincent says:
theres talking crap

Vincent says:
and theres stating a truth so blunt and straight out that it sounds like crap

Vincent says:
somethings people want to say, but cant

Vincent says:
and so they tell u a story so outrageous that u think its crap

Vincent says:
but its their way of getting it out of their chest

Vincent says:
they get to say it....and the best part is..nobody understands it


Monday, October 02, 2006

for you, and for me

Seeing as to how this blog is pretty much an extension of my philosophies in life, and seeing as to how I have been at this for about two and the half years, I have pretty much spelt out all my theories and concepts in a single entity.

I find it comforting to know that when my head is messed up (or not), or if I have a story to tell, I can simply look it up from the archives and point you in the direction that you need to look. I don't usually discuss my problems with many people besides my imaginary friend, so re-reading my archives does give me the feeling that I am talking to myself, and giving myself advice - even if it was from the past.

It so happened that I was reading my December 2005 archives just now and chanced upon this gem written on New Year's Eve. As I read the last paragraph, I reminded myself that everything is just going to be awesome once again...

I am not going to wish you an awesome year ahead, because everybody knows that's not going to happen. Inevitabliy, there will be setbacks, dissapointments and heartbreaks. I do, however wish you the strength to overcome all that shit, the tenacity to piss in the wind and the guts to stare down the barrel of a gun.

And above all, to enjoy the new year.
Despite the setbacks, dissapointments and heartbreaks, my year has been nothing short of spectacular. How has your year been so far?