Friday, December 29, 2006

the evening news

Frustrated Bloggers

Thursday, 28 December 2006

Kuala Lumpur: After a massive earthquake severely damaged submarine telco cables off the coast of Taiwan on Tuesday, one particular group has felt the brunt of this devastating tragedy.

Bloggers have been complaining that they have been cut off from their (imaginary) fans and that they are frustrated because they now have no means whatsoever to pen their already bottled-up feelings. This is especially ironic since these bloggers usually use their blogs to vent their anger and complain about the impending Armageddon - but now they have lost the only venting outlet.

A blogger who wishes to remain anonymous has insisted that this is the government's fault and that the government should be more proactive in encouraging the rakyat to adopt other more useful and more conventional hobbies such as collecting stamps or even writing using a pen and a hard covered book called a 'Diary'.

A particular kinky fairy says that her information and contacts are all stored online and hence cannot get her work done - which beggers the multi-million dollar question of 'How the hell are the banks functioning?" Another famous blogger who happens to be a politician is also extremely frustrated that he cannot share his thoughts with the rakyat since his blog is inaccessible - never mind that only 500 out of 24 million people read his blog daily.

But one should be more understanding the bloggers' predicament. When interviewed, infamous blogger Vincent Lau (of the B*tchingLOG and HantuBola fame) kindly explained, "We must realise that bloggers are a unique breed of humans. They do not have much of a life outside their computers and taking away bandwidth from them is not any different than taking away bread from a starving African child. This is the fundamental principle of human rights - we cannot deny these unfortunate deprived citizens their God given right to live their lives as recluse of society."

When asked about his thoughts of the perceived problems down south in Johor, Lau remarked that he knew nothing of the situation and that we should instead contact some Johorian bloggers to see their take on this matter. However, at press time, no Johorian blogger could be reached - presumably because the Internet connection over there is also experiencing similar difficulties.

Meanwhile, frustration and anger looms still looms large in Kuala Lumpur.

Related stories:
Bloggers feeling deprived after access throttled
Local bloggers frustrated by web service disruption

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Wednesday, December 20, 2006

questions to ponder

Elitism, they say is a bad thing.

I could never quite understand that concept. You can mistake elitism for arrogance, but are either of them necessarily bad? Would it be any different if you were a law abiding citizen and you frowned upon the act of someone committing a minor crime of throwing a sweet wrapper out the car window? Does that make you a moral elitist? I reckon not, but you may digress and say that throwing a biodegradable sweet wrapper on the road is not as bad as, say, killing someone. Still it is against the law and the difference is the magnitude of your action and the impact that comes along with it. Nonetheless, you are still a moral eltist by not wanting to have anything to do with the murderer.

So if it is alright to descriminate someone by their moral values, why is not okay to discriminate someone by their intellectual level? You may want to argue that brains are a genetic gift and hence it would be unfair to shun upon people who do not share the same in-depth level of reasoning. Fine, but would that subsequently mean that it is alright to mock people if they had control over something but chose not to do anything about it.

For instance, if I talk to someone and they cannot hold a simple conversation because of their lack of general knowledge, is it my fault that I don't want to have anything to do with those people? Is it my fault that I think some people are just not worth my time, and that I prefer to spend my time doing something more productive, like spending time alone with myself? Why would I be considered eltist then?

And speaking of which, why is it considered "sad" if someone loves time alone with themselves? Why do people feel so insecure if they were alone with no companion? Is eating alone any bigger a crime than eating with a bunch of people whose company you do not enjoy?

How is watching a movie alone any different than watching it with a herd of people? Of course that is assuming that you are a considerate person and do not talk during movies. Show starts. You pretty much watch the movie, shut up and keep your thoughts to yourself. After the movie is done, you walk out of the cinema. That is if you watch the movie alone. If you watch it with someone, the only difference is you turn to your companion as you walk out and go, "So, what did you think?"

Now if you will kindly excuse me, I need to catch up on my books ALONE in my room.


Wednesday, December 13, 2006


It is not everyday that I can gladly report that I was humbled. I look around me and most of the time I find my peers inadequate. You may attribute that to my ego, or you can call that a brutal (albeit sometimes short sighted) assessment of myself.

The last few days has been good to me. I went a long way in re-affirming my capabilities, proving to myself once again that I am capable of performing magic if I want to. Angelina Jolie made my day once again. I don't know if I can call this a proud achievement - I have loads of other achievements that easily trumps this.

But what actually humbled me was this particular person I met, whom I had the pleasure to lead, but a person whom I would gladly work under - a person whom I know has something special burning inside, yet she doesn't seem to want to tell the whole world of her capabilities.

Contrary to popular believe, I don't exactly go around telling people I meet of my capabilities (you people on the Internet are a totally different proposition altogether), but I don't exactly hide my achievements either. So if you may, this was indeed something new for me.

I am not saying that I strive to be like her, or like the other hundreds of great men and women out there who prefer not to spew their achievements upon the rest of us. I motivate myself from within. I need to keep inflating my own ego, to tell people that I am good. And because I keep doing that, I cannot afford to fail. Failing would turn me into a laughing stalk and I cannot stand for that. So, going by the twisted logic of mine, being "arrogant" helps me succeed.

I don't expect you to understand what I feel, or understand how my logical thinking works, but if there is a lesson that you must take away with you today, it is that there is nothing wrong with being "arrogant" because "arrogant" people do also recognise greatness in many other forms.

Those of you who have been reading my blog long enough probably already know my stand on matters concerning our country and racial issues that shroud our society. I hope to change the way we think, and that is why I write the things I write. However, sometimes, when I talk to someone face to face and the person starts bitching about how "things aren't supposed to be like that", sometimes I am just not in the mood to start my sermon or even debate on the subject.

So, the other day, when this lady went, "........but the way they see things in this country is messed up and it shouldn't be like that."

I went, "Ah well, sometimes we should just let it be lah.."

"NO!" she insisted, "That is the problem! We cannot just let it be!"

I sat up and immediately started paying attention. She continued, "We have to try to change things. Even if those things are too big, I try to change them. And even if I manage to change the way one person thinks, then I know that I made a difference."

I nodded my head in agreement and I let loose a smile.


Just my type of person.

Note: I am still on the road - I'll only get back to Hicksville this time next month.


Thursday, December 07, 2006

multiple choice question

Simple question:

What caused the 2004 tsunami that killed 230 000 people?

a) God was angry with evil sinners
b) God wanted to test people's faith
c) God was reminding us of his awesome power and telling us that he could take away life as easily as he gave it
d) Two tectonic plates crashed against each under causing an underwater earthquake that displaced a shit load of water very quickly

It's a simple question with a simple answer, no?


Tuesday, December 05, 2006

the malaysian movie review

I'll be on the road for the next one month or so, so postings will be infrequent (or, more infrequent than they already are). I caught two local movies recently, and I simply had to share my thoughts on them.

This isn't a real review. Oh no, I am much too lazy for that. If you want to read the synopsis and the details, head along to Suanie's for pictures of movie posters and advertisements.

The Red Kebaya - A Sentimental, Contemporary Malaysian Story

Cinta - A Rollercoaster Ride Through Love

I watched Red Kebaya in Hicksville where I walked into the cinema 5 minutes before the show started, only to find that it was totally empty and I was all alone. Sadly, I did not break my personal record (I once watched Dawn of the Dead with Monkey in the UK and we were the only two people in the cinema). By the time the trailers ended, the cinema was packed with a grand total of 5 people.

I personally find it weird to watch local movies that are in English. Comparisons are inevitable, and somehow I seem to compare the English to the typical Hollywood movie. When the script calls for Manglish (eg: Keong in Sepet) it sounds exaggerated, because I know we just don't speak Manglish to that extent. However, when the script calls for flawless English, sometimes weird accents creep in. A good example was the photographer's colleague in this show (the Punjabi lady). While I cringed everytime Keong said something so Ah-Beng sounding, I wanted to scream and smack this woman for being so pompous.

The cinematography (whatever the hell that actually means) was pretty good, as was the sound quality. In that sense, I would actually say that it is comparable to Hollywood. And since I know a jack shite about this department, I shall stop talking about it and I shall just conclude that it looks good and sounds good.

The acting reminded me of my class in Form 5. We were supposedly the top class in the form, but unfortunately we also had a few useless students in the class. There was a mid-term exam, and for Add Maths, the marking range was mind blowing. On one end of the scale, one guy got 100% while on the extreme end, another girl scored a big fat ZERO.

Same thing here. We are told that it is a pretty star studded cast, and yet while some of them delivered, some flopped miserably. I didn't quite like Ramli Hassan (again, the accent thing bugged me more than anything else),but he was alright. The lead actress, Vanidah Ibrahim was HOT and marvellous, as was Samantha Schubert. Elaine Daly as one of the joget girls was absolutely crap, and I am being kind there.

The storyline was pretty unique, although it never made much sense (but that wasn't the issue). I actually enjoyed the movie and kept thinking that it was actually quite good. That was until the ending, which I found totally disappointing. It was as if they suddenly decided that the movie was too long and they had to cram everything in the last 15 minutes.

It isn't a movie I would watch again, but certainly better than watching the other rubbish in the cinemas (like Happy Feet, for example). Speaking of which, there is a movie called Ciplak, and when I went with Piggy to watch Cinta, the counter guy heard me wrong and almost sold me tickets to Ciplak. This is why, it is always wise to check your tickets before you leave the counter.

Piggy and I were easily the only Chinese in the cinema that day. I watched this movie very much with the knowledge that it was like Love Actually with a Malaysian twist. 5 entwining love stories designed to make you sob and feel good at the same time.

It started on a very low note I thought. The lighting was crap (you can call it artistic, but I shall call it crap). The sound was rubbish as well. But behind the crappy lighting and sound, the plot was nothing short of awesome. I never liked Love Actually. Some stories, like the black dude white chick and best friend were kind of "acceptable", but stories like Prime Ministers falling in love with their maids is bloody ludicrous, even for a fairy tale movie.

That is why I loved Cinta. It was realistic in most of the stories. If they deleted the last 5 minutes of the movie, it would be like actual life. I suppose the ending of the movie was just to add a feel good touch, hopefully to make hopeless romantics leave the cinema with a smile (after all that sobbing). But the fact that it was all wrapped up in less than 5 minutes doesn't really drive home the message that all is nice and dandy, and makes me want to believe that the core of the stories could be summed up in one sentence. When it comes to women, asshole pwns nice guy on any given day of the week.

The adulterous spouse story was even more tear-jerking than Love Actually and while the sibling love story had more potential in Love Actually, it was poorly delivered unlike in Cinta where it was perfect in many ways (except the ending which was a little dumb).

I definitely recommend this show to everybody. I guarantee that there is a story you can actually relate to there, unlike Love Actually where you are expected to fall in love with an exotic Loatian woman whom you have no idea what she seems to be talking about.


Saturday, December 02, 2006


You don't have to be in the thick of action to know that dodgy underworld activities do happen everywhere. I always knew that somehow, you could always find dodgy women if you knew where to look. You know they are around you, but somehow you don't know how close they are. You know that men pay for all sorts of services, but you never know the extent they go to to get laid.

I had a very educational afternoon. A friend sent me a link to a certain forum (I am NOT disclosing the link to you losers out there) which detailed the locations of hen houses, reviewed the girls there, the prices, all the way to the performance review. As I read through the list, some of the locations shocked the very core out of me. You drive past a place on the street, and never in your wildest dreams would you ever think that hanky-panky stuff actually happen in there.

I don't know if I can call the things I learnt today 'useful' but they were certainly very insightful. For instance, paying for sex is one thing. Paying for a false sense of "intimacy" is pretty stupid, yet understandable. The reason people do it is very much a given. But I learnt that people actually pay for handjobs. I read that and thought, "But...WHY?! Don't you have hands?!"

What was most disturbing was the fact that most of the reviewers seemed to be hooked. They talk about going to these places to kill their time, or to try other girls - just for the heck of it. Some of them asked the other regulars if they knew the whereabouts of a certain working lady that doesn't work in the same place anymore. You read those posts and you say a silent prayer for them.

God help their ugly mutts and tiny weewees.

Post publication entry (24 May 2007): After the really funny expose in the NST and the constant barrage of you losers, I wrote another piece which you can read here.