Monday, January 29, 2007

hollywood syndrome

A funny incident occured just outside my house the other day as I was going out for dinner. This Mat Rempit bloke was riding on his bike tailing his girlfriend (I presume). She was walking ahead and he was trying to get her to talk to him. She nicely ignored him and kept walking down the road - slowly, I might add, while he was nicely trying to get her to get on the bike and go home. I didn't pay much attention to what transpired later as my stomach had more urgent matters to attend to. Still, it wouldn't be hard to guess what happened later.

Classic Hollywood.

Man and woman fight. Woman 'storms' off in a vengeful rage. Man chases woman. Woman ignores man...for a while. Woman is happy with the attention she gets and then accepts apology. Woman and man have great make-up sex.

Still, it makes for interesting analysis. If she was really pissed, she would have stormed off instead of strolling down the road. She would have screamed back and asked him to fuck off instead of enjoying tormenting him. The guy was pretty nice for a Mat Rempit, I might add. You can call this a flaw in character, but I choose to see myself as someone who does not and will not tolerate shit like that. For fucks sakes, if you have a problem, you talk about it (or scream about it) if you have any intention of fixing it. I would construe the actions of the woman in ignoring my words, the actions of someone who has no intention of fixing the problem. Therefore, I would have taken my bike and bailed out of there leaving that stupid woman to find her own way home.

Andrew, Keng and myself were discussing in a mamak session one night about these drama kings and queens. Because, like it or not, we all know some idiot like that. Anyway, they came up with the theory that Korean soaps are written based on the lives of drama kings like these. I challenged their theory and questioned whether sappy Hollywood love stories are written first and then these people try to emulate it. I guess this is one chicken and egg question which we will never get to the bottom off.

In many ways, Hollywood is evil. Once upon a time, the objective of the human race was to further propagate our species and expand our boundaries of society. And for that to happen, the ace specimen of the female species (usually with big bossoms, haha!) would mate with the alpha male (usually the best hunter or greatest warrior). In modern terms, that would translate to poor kampung girl marrying rich man so that she can use his money to make life easy on her poor farmer dad. Arranged marriages are the way to go, no?

But then there is this slightly twisted delusional scam that Hollywood has so conveniently churned up for us - some magical fairytale of love. Shows like Love Actually (okay, not exactly Hollywood but you get the point) are nothing more than pure evil. It brainwashes people into feeling that you can ONLY be with someone if you love them.

What about Maslow's heirarchy of needs? Why is it wrong for a poor woman who has never known the luxuries of life to go out looking for a sugar daddy that would be willing to give her everything she would never have dreamt off? Why is that frowned upon in society? And on the other end of the scale, why do people buy that crap in Love Actually of a Prime Minister falling in love with his maid? But at the same time, most women (those I asked hypothetically, of course) said that they would say no if an Arabian prince - the heir to the throne of his ridiculously oil rich nation asked for their hand in marriage. Because I don't love him. Konon.

Speaking of Hollywood, you know how people on dates (usually first dates) choose a chick flick or a romantic comedy or something along the lines of a romantic genre? And most of the time, its the guys that pick the movies. Well, thanks to Vincent, those aforementioned idiots can now stop shooting themselves in the foot. They think that romantic movies are going to score them some action because hopefully the girl will get all sappy and hence it would be easier to get her to fall in love with them.

Wrong, dumbass.

Comparisons are inevitable everywhere you go. She will compare you with her ex, or her friend's bloke, and there isn't anything you can do about it. At least you are being compared to a real life person which you at least have a chance of trumping. But by getting her to watch a romance movie on the first date, you are essentially shooting yourself in the foot because you would then be compared to a fictional character. It's bad enough that you will NEVER look anywhere as cute or dreamy eyed as the lead actor (with a shit load of makeup I must add), you then have to compete on the romantic scale with the damn script writer.

I reckon, it would be much better to take her to watch a horror movie. The scarier the better. When she is terrified, and if the aura you emit somehow makes her feel secure then you just scored a homerun. Of course, if she is scared shitless, then you are possibly not getting any. Still, your odds are better because here you have fate in your hands as opposed to competing with that idiot in Love Actually.


I wonder how many people who read your blog can list what Maslow's hierarchy of needs are.

...or have even heard of it.

anyway. love. drama. things we'd like to have in our dreary, clockwork lives. that's the only reason why i'm still a sucker for nice guys.

that exist. don't argue with me, k?

at least i don't take romantic comedies seriously anymore.

oh and guys, please listen to vincent and don't take girls to chick flicks on a first date. don't take them to a movie at all.


vincent, if ur gf got robbed coz u bailed out in ur bike and leaving her alone in the street, wont u feel guilty?

when ur gf get mad and ignore u, ofcourse, u have to tail her coz she actually wants u to sweet tok her back instead of u running away.


vincent, next time when ur gf do tat 2u, u better dun run away but instead bagging her "pls dun b angery wif me" x10. :D

tilia : Some do, er...like you? Haha.

lishun: And the only reason you are a sucker for all that is HOLLYWOOD. I keep telling people - IT IS EVIL!

anon : This is why you have to read carefully what I say.

ice milo : 'Bagging' her would be difficult - much easier if she 'bags' me. If you know what 'bagging' is actually. Haha!


I guess those romantic hollywood movies does set the bar up way higher for guys to make special moments happen without making it look to cliche.

Thank god I'm a female.


Naturally, women are attention seekers. I think we tend to imagine our relationships in the form of a cliched film script be it tragic or romantic. thus we often delude ourselves that we ought to be the principal character and the guy in the secondary role who does all the chasing and resolving.

I have to agree that horror movies will bring out the best on a first date. Memang seram kerana ia menakutkan dan kejutkan kita. No mushy crap.


hmmm, now i know why its not working for me. damn love story.

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