Friday, March 07, 2008

monkey or no monkey?

I just arrived back in PJ from the kampung.

I suppose it won't come as a surprise, but I still haven't decided whether I should vote the dacing, the penis, or the monkey. Last night I read a rather convincing article in favour of the penis, but over lunch somebody else made a very good point about the dacing. And while driving home in the torrid rain, I kept thinking that I should stick to my instincts and vote the monkey.

When I got home, I heard that there was a ceramah near my place, so I figured that I could give these buggers another chance to convince me. I didn't even know which party was conducting the ceramah until I got there. There was that Nathaniel Tan bloke speaking there in front of a relatively small crowd.

Was I impressed?

Not a single bit.

I was there for half an hour and he spent the better part of 25 minutes talking about how bad BN was. I think I have bored myself (and you people) half to death about this, but it really bugged the shit out of me. I went there hoping that someone could tell me why I should vote them, but instead Nat gave me 100 reasons why I should not vote BN.

He did give 1 reason though:

BN does not keep its promise. I will tell you now. You vote for us tomorrow on the 8th. If we win, on the 9th we will reduce the price of petrol immediately!! But if you don't vote us and we don't win, how can you say we don't keep our promise? We have no power to do anything about it!!

*crowd cheers, albeit not very enthusiastically*

5 minutes later...

....vote for us!! We must deny BN their two-thirds majority!!

Eh friend. You kidding me or what? So you want to win or you want to deny two-third majority? If you wanna deny majority then why you make a promise that IF you win, you will destroy our economy by subsidizing petrol even further?!? You already know you won't win outright, so why are you making promises on the assumption that you will?

There were a lot of other ridiculous things being said, but I think you get my point that they are lying morons. The rain was getting heavier, so I went off and tried to find a dacing ceramah that I could go to.

I stopped at one of the dacing election booths and asked them where the nearest ceramah was. Apparently, there wasn't any going on tonight. Imagine that. The night before the elections and they slack off? No need to campaign any more? A sure victory?!? The guy at the booth told me that they finished the campaigning this afternoon. Lazy buggers! I wasn't expecting any big names! I just wanted to hear what the bugger in my constituency had to say!


So it's the monkey then?

Labels: ,

Don't Count The Monkey Before It Hatches!

@ Eyeris: I wouldn't want to be near a monkey "egg" in the first place, let alone count it.

I can't speak for people who may have a fetish for primate genitals tho. LOL


vincent, imho, the monkey will suit you fine.

I would give a ceramah about how I would enact municipal elections to reduce abuse by central governments and announce population-scaled municipal funding.

Or perhaps announce that I would figt for greater states' rights to reduce the federal government's ability to threaten state voters via the withholding of public funds.

And then add more legislative oversight, blocking amendments that can bring to less judicial oversight or even perhaps just tell them that we'll fight for Freedom of Assembly.

But efficiency requirements dictate that we rely on those issues being implicitly understood, and use the most effective points to gain votes.

There's just only so much you can talk about and elaborate in one hour, and just so many ceramahs you can apply and get approved, might as well make it about the issues closest to the audience's hearts.

I think the oil price pledge would come back to haunt the opposition though.



Post a Comment

<< Home