Sunday, May 31, 2009
24 things you learn from 24
The best way to watch 24 is to wait for the season to end, and then watch all the episodes back-to-back. Labels: reviews
If you watch 17 episodes in a single day, I guarantee you will dream of being Jack Bauer and killing people.
Watching the maximum limit for watching TV series on a 17" LCD monitor is 680 minutes. After that your eyes will start twitching. Which is why I stopped at 17 episodes and decided to read a book.
There has been a trend this year. All the great TV characters are insane. House is now in a mental hospital with his hallucinations. Sylar first has mother issues, then father issues and then goes through an identity crisis. And now we see Jack Bauer with his God complex. There's a difference between being a hero and being nuts. Jack Bauer is clearly nuts.
If Jack Bauer 'gives someone his word', expect that someone to get into trouble real soon and Jacko the Whacko risks everything to keep to his word.
If Barack Obama watched 24, he would know that you can't close down Guantanamo Bay. Humans have rights?!? Who knew?!!?
Things can't just go wrong on its own. There's always a traitor/rat/mole somewhere.
A 'safe room' isn't that safe afterall. You can still gas the ventilation unit and smoke out the pesky rats using a mixture household cleaning products.
No matter how great you think you are, no matter how powerful you think you are, there is ALWAYS somebody pulling your puppet strings.
FBI/CTU computer analysts are weird, akward people who have no life and have no idea how to act in a social environment.
The Hyundai Genesis (which has a cool LCD display on the dashboard) is the official car of the US government/FBI. Which explains why the American car companies are going bankrupt.
Those bad guys never learn...kill Jack Bauer when you get the chance, you dumbasses!!
Those beareucrats never learn...trust Jack Bauer no matter what he does, you dumbassess!!
The guys who seem uber evil in the first few episodes are actually sacrificial lambs. Even if they set off nuclear bombs or crash planes, their actions are actually irrelevant at the end of the day because there is a bigger plan being executed by smarter and more powerful people. Ironically, the smarter and more sophisticated guys always fail.
If you spot a minor character being a hero, chances are he or she is going to go crazy/get sacrificed/brutally murdered. The only hero that is allowed to exist on this show is Jack Bauer. Everybody else is a pawn.
If you spot a hot chick, don't start getting attached to her character because she is going to go crazy/get sacrificed/brutally murdered. Pretty women are usually pawns. Or bait. Usually both.
You can apparently control all the power plants and sewage treatment plants from remote control. I think this would greatly surprise my bosses as they have been told otherwise.
Apparently chemical/nuclear/power plant managers wear ties and long sleeved shirts to work. My boss would be amused.
All the Presidents of the United States have dysfunctional/crazy/irritating/incredibly stupid family members.
Before Jack Bauer can talk to a material witness/follow up on a lead, the said witness must get mortally injured and have only 5 sentences to say before he dies/lapses into coma/gets killed.
If someone has a list of important stuff that he doesn't want other people to see, he will put it in a microchip and implant it inside his body, and then Jack Bauer will at some point rip it out.
Elisha Cuthbert is incredibly hot, but she wins the award for the most annoying TV character, ever. For reference, please watch Season 1 and tell me you weren't egging on the bad guys to FUCKING KILL her already.
Stem cell research cured Jack Bauer from a biological weapon attack. How can members of the God-Fan Club possibly object to it now?!?
It's a good thing nobody is counting because I have ran out of stuff to say.
If they are long running, it's best to wait for the whole thing to finish then watch every season back to back. That's what I did with The Sopranos and it rocked my world!
Once a week isn't good enough for any decent series and those mid-season breaks kill me.
And if I were his friend I'd tell him to fuck off and move halfway across the world from him because clearly anyone or anything near him gets really fucked up at some point.
And if I were in CTU, I'd resign.
Shit, that's three things.