Wednesday, August 12, 2009
In today's newspapers - ACTUAL headlines which you WISH were accompanied by the following stories:
Toll rises with 6 more deaths
In a move that is bound to incense the rakyat, the government has decided to increase the toll rates after 6 more Mat Rempit were killed when they rear ended the ass of a water buffalo which was trying to cross the road. While the Rempits cannot be stopped and should be rehabilitated instead, the toll rise is meant to keep out poor farmers from allowing their livestock to roam the streets.
Motion passed despite walkout by Barisan reps
In a rare display of solidarity in accordance to the 1Malaysia concept of together-getherness, politicians on both sides of the fence (including those on the fence) were egging on the injured water buffalo to pass motion. The water buffalo was believed to be suffering severe constipation after an earlier road accident saw the head of a Mat Rempit lodged up the animal's behind. After several motivational speeches by maverick Anwar Ibrahim, the water buffalo finally managed to pass motion. However, the limelight was stolen by Barisan reps who walked out when they found out that...
Anwar seeks to disqualify prosecution team over ‘bias’
A friendly football game between Barisan and Pakatan turned ugly as Maverick Anwar yesterday attempted to disqualify BN's Prosecution FC by writing to FAM and the MACC alleging bias against PR's Defence FC. In the letter, Anwar claimed that the referree appointed for the game was the father of one of the dead Mat Rempits. He claimed that the referee would be 'biased' since he was seen to have been taking sides with the water buffalo over the Mat Rempit.
The referee, who refused to be named was seen wearing a Liverpool jersey when he told reporters, "Daddy tak bias...." He also warned Anwar to retract his accusations or to face a RM100 million lawsuit.
It's just that those headlines screamed to be mocked. Plus, all the snide remarks and commentary about actual things that are ridiculous.
Like rehabilitating Mat Rempits, silly walkouts and boycotts and uncountable RM100mil lawsuits.